(Midget Porn) Hot Lard Mad Lib Volume #9 (Midget Porn)

Hey kids!

It’s time for another happy happy joy joy Hot Lard Mad Lib. This is where we take all the search terms you snuggle muffins use to find our web site of rainbow kisses and ice cream sprinkle rain showers.  So as you rascals read along, you may find a word you used to look for that picture of two retarded midgets trying to have sex with a turtle. Or that site that shows somebody’s grandmother riding a horse… Or should we say, the horse is riding her.

So remember my group of monkey humpers, you wrote this.

Enjoy

Midget Porn and the Herpes princess

In the evening, Midget Porn likes to show his children demotivational posters of gay rape and large volume ejaculation on retarded midgets before they go to sleep. His littlest girl, Fat Thong asked if he knew any gay pirate porn stories he could tell. Midget Porn did not know of any, but he did know a good black hairy porn story he would tell her.

Once upon a time…

There was a fat girl with no teeth who liked to puke piss on hot girls butt cracks to get them to eat shit and slurp cum from a gay mans ass with a straw. She did this because she was unhappy with the fat ass whore that was ruling the land. She was an evil crack whore that liked camaro mullets, fat humor, and gay rape.

The only hope to free the kingdom was the brave and noble, Super Tard and his trusty sidekick man boobs. Together these two could ass rape any drunk babysitter that tried to anal probe hot gay naked emo boys and naked retards with their molester moustache. But first they had to stop anal leakage from destroying the midgets fucking festival of the shit pants tribe of the piss fucker people.

So the two heroes’s jumped on their fat ass hotties and masturbated all the way to the forbidden land of red neck boobs to find volunteers for the “blow job” party of the lard ass clan. It was there they met prince Shut the fuck up and his anal girls of the bikini crack round table. They were asked if they would join Midget Porn and Man Boobs in their quest for rick astley hot ass and sex initiation into gangs. They agreed and so the fat woman sucks balls brigade was born!

They rode through all the villages to wipe out fat people in public and gay midget porn that had plagued them. Before long you could not find any overweight woman trying to get raped while drunk or pissed on by ugly fat people with anal bottles and rednecks who like anal. They made the evil doers puke cum on fat dudes in leotards, this way they would always have to show the mark of cum teeth justice.

The evil queen was not happy and fist fucked retarded swimsuit models with strawberry shortcake and bad teeth. The people cried out, “When will the girl without bra take her glass full of piss and face paint the fat nigerian hotties”? All hope appeared to be lost… Until can i has cheezburger showed up with fat american whore and butt sex to do battle with the queen for the right to anal rape Rainbow Bright.

The battle was long a brutal; so much fat porn and batman sex was lost. But in the end the retard sniffing a dogs butt would prevail. And all the gay midgets cheered. The double D Chinese hooker had been saved and gay astronaut anal sex would once again rule the land.

The shit, fuck, piss, End

You can see our other mad libs here

Demotivational Posters Volume #13

Official Hot Lard 2000 Hit Post

Time for another round of quality, award-winning, equally-loathed set of Demotivational posters for you print as practical jokes for your mother-in-law who recently divorced that had a huge rack the last time she dropped off your power drill when she was remodeling her bedroom because you two broke the bed due to the constant humping and butt sex.

Whew…

See our other posters here.

Clunker of the Day

Today we bring you a photo that I personally took while driving around town.  You wouldn’t believe how thankful I was to myself for bring my digital camera along with me that day!  It’s too bad I wasn’t able to record the audio because this clunker was LOUD!

  • Notice the rag in the gas tank.
  • Notice the bags of trash in the back seat.
  • Check out the duct tape holding the vinyl rooftop together.

I don’t want to go overboard with this guy, but check out the pimp-ness of the way he’s driving!  That guy actually doesn’t give two squirts about what anyone thinks of him, which ironically enough is why I’m tagging him so hard.

— Count of Flanders