Clunker of the Day

Not a bad car before the idiot drove over the rock.  It is now!

I imagine the conversation she’s having with her husband as:

Dumb Wife: Hi honey, how are you today?

Worn-to-knub Husband: Fine, what do you want?

Dumb Wife: Well, I thought I would come have lunch with you today on my day off!

Worn-to-knub Husband: I brought my lunch today; remember, you made it. * sigh *

Dumb Wife: Oh, well drive-thru fast food sounds good, doesn’t it?

Worn-to-knub Husband: Whatever … I’ll take a cheeseburger and fries.

Dumb Wife: OK, I’m almost there [faking it] OH GOD, NOOOOOOOO!  JESUS CHRIST THAT SONUVA BITCH JUST CUT ME OFF [begin fake crying]!  OH DEAR … THAT ASSHOLE MADE ME SWERVE AND HIT A HUGE ROCK!!! That totally wasn’t my fault!  [fake crying commencing full-blown now]

Worn-to-knub Husband: God dammit, WHAT HAPPENED!?!? Why are you crying?  WHATS WRONG WITH THE CAR?!

Dumb Wife: Oh god, all you can think about is why I’m crying!  I ALMOST DIED! You selfish prick, the car is on top of this big rock because that asshole cut me off and I almost died and all you can think of [fake sniff] is the stupid car!

Worn-to-knub Husband: I’m sorry sweatie, I don’t care about the car.  Are you alright?  Where are you and I’ll be right there!

Dumb Wife: I’m at the White Castle on Crenshaw Blvd, hurry! [sniff-sniff]

Worn-to-knub Husband: I’ll be right there … you stay put.  Don’t worry, it’ll be fine!

* CLICK *

Dumb Wife (mumbles to self): “ha-ha, sucker”

Am I right, or am I right?!

— Count of Flanders

God Hates Kittens; Koreans Love Dogs

Little did I know that so much effort went into this picture:

I thought I could come up with something, but unfortunately if you don’t live in the greater Los Angeles area, you will have no idea what I’m talking about.  Of course, if you’re savvy-enough, you can jump on dot-com and look it up.  LOL:

I’m not a racist; merely a humorist.

— Count of Flanders

Demotivational Posters Volume #13

Official Hot Lard 2000 Hit Post

Time for another round of quality, award-winning, equally-loathed set of Demotivational posters for you print as practical jokes for your mother-in-law who recently divorced that had a huge rack the last time she dropped off your power drill when she was remodeling her bedroom because you two broke the bed due to the constant humping and butt sex.

Whew…

See our other posters here.

Clunker of the Day

Today we bring you a photo that I personally took while driving around town.  You wouldn’t believe how thankful I was to myself for bring my digital camera along with me that day!  It’s too bad I wasn’t able to record the audio because this clunker was LOUD!

  • Notice the rag in the gas tank.
  • Notice the bags of trash in the back seat.
  • Check out the duct tape holding the vinyl rooftop together.

I don’t want to go overboard with this guy, but check out the pimp-ness of the way he’s driving!  That guy actually doesn’t give two squirts about what anyone thinks of him, which ironically enough is why I’m tagging him so hard.

— Count of Flanders

Clunker of the Day

I used to think I drove a piece of shit, but now I’ve seen everything … and it gave me an idea.  Send us your beat-up rides and hope to holy Tom Cruise your picture gets featured.

Here’s a good start:

Check out the fine detailing we have here.

Obviously a new hood was installed with the factory black primer.  We have an aftermarket front bumper with some missing metal under the passenger front fender.

Perhaps I should not be harsh, but this car is really ugly and I wouldn’t waste last night’s change from Shiela-the-whore on new parts for it.  But, somebody must love it.  Loser.