Hot Lard Flashback – I Dream of Shawn Johnson

I have a convention to attend this week. So I’m going to try and knock out a few posts today to make you (My wonderful readers) happy.

My first submission is another flashback to the days when Hot Lard was king, because there were nothing but a group of pervs working here.  And this post was extra pervy, because it was written about America’s Olympic sweetheart, Shawn Johnson. You remember her don’t you? She was in the 2008 Olympics…. you know the Olympics… It’s that thing they have every four years to see what country is the best … America or China. Yes, the Olympics, that thing that our very new and very popular president pulled out all the stops in 2008 to make a bid for it to come to America in 2016. He sent our ambassador of power and free car giveaways “Oprah” to campaign for us. With her power and his charm we were a shoe-in to get the nod. And after all that, and millions of dollars of tax payer money was spent….. The Olympics went to Brazil and the good ole USA finished 6th or 7th in the voting.

Well anywho…

2509126191_73481196c9_oShawn Johnson was a product of the great state of Iowa, which just so happens to be the home of this wonderful blog. So, as you can imagine, we were all very excited to have an Iowan native in the Olympics and we were all rooting for her to do well…..

And that is where one of our writers took a dark turn off a steep cliff we all call, “Perverts Ville”. Yes one of our writers was a little more excited about Shawn than the rest of us. (Or any adult male legally should have been) And that started a very lively crossfire of comments for this post. That is the exact reason why I am flashing back to this story. The comments for it are just as good (And in some cases, just as demented) as the story itself.

So please take a few moments to read through the post and then strap yourself in for the comments that followed. Pay very close attention to the comments from an individual known only as Billy. His are quite funny and possibly criminal.


Click here to go to the post.

Hot Lard Flashback – THE FIRST POST!!!

Today at work I was bored and decided to surf through Hot Lard’s older posts to see if there was anything good that I could share with you. And as I thought, it was all crap, so I went to plan B. Find the first post we ever did.

After wading through tons of shit on the horrors of soccer, people with mullets, and midget porn, (Don’t ask) I was finally able to find…… THE FIRST POST!!!!!!!

Wait a minute…. Read that last part over again, but Click here for dramatic effect…. It’s OK, we’ll wait……….. You ready??? OK, 1……2……3…. Go!



Golly gee wiz, wasn’t that a real hoot?

Anywho, This first post was the one that started it all for Hot Lard. When it was written, this site was a complete unknown. Who knew that in a mere 45 days, it would become the 6th most powerful website on the Internet… You have to remember, this took place in 2007, things happened a lot faster back then.

It was this post that started me down the wondrous road of blogging. It showed me a way to reach out to more people than I had ever before. It gave me a tool to express my feelings and points of view. And it showed me that you, (Our wonderful readers) cared for none of that, and only wanted to see midget porn, puking high school girls, and naked pictures of former Disney starlets.

I will admit that this first post is a little rough around the edges. I was pretty new to the whole reading & writing thing. But it did show off my superior Photoshop skills and proved to the world that a new master, an artistic genius had arrived. Soon I would become the 3rd most powerful man on the internet and would rule over it like a God… an angry God.

And some 6 years later, because of this site, we now have the international space station, a cure for rectal warts, and flying cars. For that, you are welcome.

thank you hl

So without further ado…… To enjoy THE FIRST POST just click here

But do the dramatic music again… it’s sooooooooooooooo cool.

Hot Lard Flashback – Hold My Hand

2dgs6jaI especially like this post, because it could be deemed as one of my more sensitive moments. I wrote about my love & compassion of the woman I chose to spend my life with. I show my tender side and the fact that a warm, caring heart does pump blood through my veins….

But as usual, my diseased brain ends up taking me down the same sick and perverted path I normally venture.

Hey, at least I tried….

To read the original post, click here.