I just wanted to let everyone know that my good friend and co-owner of Hot Lard, Ervin, really is out of commission. According to my inside sources, he found a friend in prison that wasn’t kind to him.
Given your many clues to Ervin’s sexual prowness, rest-assured it isn’t Ervin that is suffering … rather, the ‘Bubba’ who thought he would take advantage of poor Ervin. I betyou can all imagine the look of shock and fear as ‘Bubba’ was subjected to Ervin’s many horror stories and tall tales of mustangs (horses) and llamas.
Even with his many ventures into barnyard porn and the likes, he did sustain some internal damage that is going to prolong his stay in confinement. Don’t worry though, he sentence is nearly served and the doctors should have him patched up in no time … he’ll be back on his knees in no time at all.
So to tide everyone over, I thought I’d share a Kodak Moment.
Who’s hungry for Pizza Hut?
Feel free to leave your “well wishes” for Ervin. He’ll be back very soon, in full-form ready to make everyone vomit all over again.
What’s better than Star Trek and Porn???
Star Trek Porn
You have got to check this out.
Have a great weekend everybody.
Golly prison is a hoot. It’s amazing what you can do when you have all the time in the world to think about it. With just a Popsicle stick, a ball of twine, and a beer can tab, I was able to make a working computer. And with some fishing string and tampons, I was able to network it on the warden’s router. Now I can get online anytime I want without having to do “special favors” for the guards.
Beings we have a long weekend ahead of us, I decided to come up with something special for you all. I went to Tinypic.com to get some new material for another volume of, “A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words”. And right after I masturbated, that is exactly what I did. You may want to be careful about what pictures you click on… some might be sticky.
Have a great weekend!!!!!
Send Breath Mints
This is not why I’m here….
But this is! (The top one…. The top one!!!!)
It was found in Arkansas; police caught it producing methamphetamine.
While the guard was not looking, I was able to sneak into the warden’s office and get online. Of course the first thing I did was check out Hot Lard to see how all my good friends and readers are doing…
Well actually I guess I did check out some of the barnyard porn sites the warden had in his favorites list first…
And I also balanced my checkbook.
And set up a date with a hot 13 year old Mexican girl named Chris Hansson I meet on a chat line.
Then I watched some streaming porn
Oh and I went to all the sites we have blog rolled and placed viruses on them.
Made a few obscene phone calls to the burn center at Mercy Medical
Picked my nose
Had a pizza delivered
Cut my hair
Penis shanked a snitch
But after that I’m sure all of you were the first thing on my mind.
Well, as I was rifling through the wardens desk looking for a breath mint (Don’t ask). I found some wanted posters the FED’s used to capture me. So I thought I’d post them for all to see.
Remember that none of these are true…. Well mostly not true…. Somewhat not true…in some peoples point of view not true… You know, I feel that what a man does in his own home… or church… or park… or play ground…or barn… or neighbors barn… or to his neighbor is his own damn business.