Hot Lard Kodak Moment – Impress Your Date

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This reminds me of the love sonnet I wrote for my ex-girlfriend…

Since meeting you it is hard to deny

The feelings growing in me will never die

You are my morning, my evening, and my April rain

You’re my warm winters evening by the fire; when we are apart my heart pains

It’s alarming how my love for you is growing at such a fast pace

Whenever I see you, I want to crap on your face.

Hot Lard’s Top Ten Posts – #10

Beings Hot Lard is turning 1, we thought it would be fun to look back at some of the things that have made us the forth most popular web site on the Internet. So we are going to count down the top ten posts we have had in this first year of our existence.

Number #10

(Midget Porn) Hot Lard Mad Lib Volume #3

Created: October 23, 2007

Number of hits: 3069

This is the third volume of the Mad Lib series and the second most popular of them all. We placed the (Midget Porn) moniker on the title to celebrate the “number one” used reference word to find our web site. This post is a testament to the fact that if you print the sick and demented words of the crazy fucks that troll the Internet; you will get them to cum… errrrrrrrr I mean “come” to your site. After each one of the Mad Lib posts I immediately followed it with a very long shower and a day and a half of crying. Plus my soul dies just a little bit more.

See the rest of the top ten here

Kurt Cobain Wishes Hot Lard a Happy Birthday

Hey Hot Lard, Kurt Cobain here. I’d love to wish you a happy birthday and say what a great site you have there… But I’m dead.

Shot myself… Blew my head clean off. I’d like to say that thinking back that probably wasn’t a very good idea… But I blew my brains out, so I don’t do much thinking anymore.

*Awkward Silence*

Well, gotta go, the Devil wants to ass rape me again. Suicide sucks, but Hot Lard is great!!!

Happy Birthday

See our other B-day wishes here

Classic Comment of the Week – Shanking with my…

We are starting a new series of posts here at Hot Lard (HL to our friends…. if we had any) We are calling it Classic Comment of the Week. (or CCOTW)

We get some very funny comments from our readers and I feel it a real shame that they may not be getting shared with all of you. So whenever a really good comment comes in (starting now) we will post it and give you praise for the sick and  twisted person you are.

This weeks praise goes to gijew for his defense of our latest version of Demotivational posters. You see, it appears that someone by the name of Heath did not like our poster on “Exploration” and he called me a bad person. Thankfully the staff of HL stepped in and bitch slapped Heath up and down the street. But the real kick in the balls came from gijew.  He finished this guy off with no mercy whatsoever and for that we salute you!

You can take a look at the comments in the screen shot below, (The honored comment is number 6) or you can find them here

I just chose to do the shanking with my penis…. CLASSIC!!!!!

Keep em coming and we’ll post em.