Time for another Hot Lard Caption Contest!
Submit your ideas in the comments. No prizes will be awarded, unless you want a signed photograph of Ervin’s handiwork.
Monthly Archives: July 2008
Hot Lard’s Top Ten Posts – #4
Number #4
Hot Lard has the nude photo of Vanessa Hudgens
Created: Sept 7, 2007
Hits: 5245
We have two posts on Hot Lard that promises the reader the opportunity to see a young celebrity’s ripe, supple boobies. Both of which are on the top ten list, (What a big surprise) this is the first, the other is to come. This post was the first 1000 hit post we ever had at HL, which proves that young boobies make for good site traffic. Of course we didn’t give you the boobies right away, you sort of had to work your way through some very scary photos before you were aloud to view the boobies of this 18 year old. But isn’t making the trip half the fun?
Hot Lard’s Top Ten Posts – #5
Number #5
Demotivational Posters Volume #1
Created: Feb 13, 2008
Hits: 4,900
Demotivational Posters Volume #1 set a few milestones for us here at Hot Lard. To begin with it was the first of the demotivational poster series and showed the staff that we actually did have a purpose in life. (Other than mooning the elderly) The second was that this was the first and only post that reached 1000 hits in less than 24 hours. I don’t know if we even had a 1000 hit day before this post.
I guess there is a third and fourth milestone that we don’t really talk about. This was the first post we showed a naked booby and real poo in. After that, we pretty much started to show everything and the site has gone downhill ever since.
Youtube Video of the Day – Wii Fit
Now, I’m not normally the person everyone would call a Wii Fanboy, but the video below is BY FAR the only reason why every guy should buy their lady the Wii Fit:
My Thoughts by Ervin Shlopnick – The Worlds Greatest Cheeseburger
Last night I created the world’s greatest bacon cheeseburgers. I fried up some of the best thick cut bacon you can find. The burger was made from the choices meats. I used fresh lettuce, onions, and tomatoes from my garden. To top it all off I used BBQ sauce instead of ketchup, and to give it a little kick, I placed hot peppers on the burgers. My mouth took a joy ride to heaven after every bite; I had two of them….
Just 10 minutes ago I created the greatest bacon cheeseburger “turd” the world has ever known. You may want to avoid the restroom for the rest of the day…. or month…. maybe year.
Wal*Mart is Evil; Shopper Strips to Prove Point
I was browsing the bicycle forums this afternoon (yes, I was… LOL) and came across another reason to believe Wal-Mart is pure evil.
Turns out, a woman was unable to bring her bicycle inside (probably because most bums would love to steal her $600 bike any chance they got). Apparently, Wal-Evil doesn’t allow outside bikes inside their stores because they sell bikes (mind you, Huffy and Murray … hardly to be mistaken for a bike costing more than $50) and it would confuse loss prevention and potentially bring harm to shoppers.
The point the woman made was something I wish to have seen.
… I’m standing there in my spandex and a sports bra …
I kind of lost my train of thought at that point.
More Hot Lard stories about the wonderful world of Wal-Evil.
Hot Lard Kodak Moment – WTF?!?!?!?!?!
So, we’ve seen this pic … now, how about this one?
Ervin Shlopnick poses for the Hot Lard Birthday Card
Get yourselves some cake ladies…
(Midget Porn) and Crack Whore Wishes Hot Lard a Happy Birthday
Happy anal electrode Hot Lard,
We just wanted to ass rape a gay midget and give you a fat woman thong from our Russian whore collection. Tonight we would like to give you a public blowjob while Penis ramming the shit teeth of Hillary Duff, while lorena bobbit and Rainbow Bright explore anal leakage and fat porn with fat Nigerian sluts who like to drink sperm from a computer nerd who has anal warts and a slutty sister.
After going to church we thought we could anal rape hot lpga golfers with a sperm poster of brett favre as a viking. Then watch the nympho puke on Sarahc_1225, Finally I want to shoot my load on your mexi-mullet and finish the day off when god kills a kitten.
Yours always
Midget Porn and Crack Whore
Hot Lard’s Top Ten Posts – !#$%@#% There always has to be one!
Number #10a
Demotivational Posters Volume #14
Created: April 13, 2008
Hits: 3102
I knew… I just fucking knew it!!!!!
Once I started this list I knew that a post would suddenly get popular and change the order of things. And sure enough it happened. Volume #14 of the demotivational poster series has taken in enough hits over the past two days to jump from number 11 to number 10 on our list. And I’m not talking by just one or two hits, it’s a lot. So now, to be fair to all that work here, I must add this one in as a 10a or honorable mention or THE ONE POST THAT FUCKED UP THE ENTIRE COUNTDOWN!!!!!
Well congratulation demotivational posters volume #14 you are now number 10a on the list. Hope you’re fucking happy…… Bitch!
Oh and Mad Lib volume #3, you’re now 11… You fucking loser. Get out of here number 11 you don’t belong. Go crying back to your momma you non-top-ten-anymore nobody.
Hot Lard 