Opposite of FAIL, Public Blowjob

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While not exactly perspective-accurate, I got to hand to the person who found his inner-genius and snapped this photo.

Maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to judge; perhaps the guy has a two meter dick that was hanging off the left.

Guess that would make TWO of us in the world with the gift.

Click on the Photo to see the same shot from another angle.

Actually, now that I think about this for a moment … I’ve determined that this guy must have a pencil dick because his trousers are still buttoned.  Therefore, he must have slipped his tubestick though his zipper.  Everyone knows that a two-meter dick would have to be at least one meter in girth.

This would be one scary-looking penis!!

I think I’ve talked too much about this already.  Time to go cleanse myself and stare at some boobies.

Letters to Hot Lard – WTF is that photo?

Official Hot Lard 1000 Hit Post

Hey kids,

It’s time once again to dip into the Hot Lard mail bag and read a letter from one of our happy little readers.

Today’s letter comes from Austin, and it reads…

Subject: Very curious


There is an image at https://hotlard.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/wtf2.jpg that has intrigued us to no end.
What the fuck is that?  Is the muppet-like character from a movie or what?  Any information on the topic would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.


Hey there little Austin. Thanks for the letter, and here is your response.


Thanks for the email. We always love to hear that someone is actually reading our stuff.

I found this photo in my mothers panty drawer, (Don’t ask what I was doing there). It was in a envelope marked, “Ervin’s real 12th birthday”. On the back of the photo there was writing saying, “He must never find out about this! Hail Satan! All praise Checkers, the squirrel overlord of the underworld”.

So I’m guessing it has something to do with gardening and the weed weasel.

Hope this helps

Ervin Shlopnick

Thanks again Austin for your very good question.  Keep those letters and cards coming kids!!!

C-130 vs Bald Eagle

Freedom Stew!!!

This U.S. Air Force C-130 was flying near Tacoma, Washington when it collided with an bald eagle.  The pilot got splattered with blood.  The C-130 and eagle landed together, but only the C-130 was still alive.

The plane commander requested a change of pants!

The last pic probably should be captioned … “you gotta be fucking kidding me!!!

Who’s up for chicken?

Opposite of FAIL; Success!

The rage these days seems to be pointing out obvious failures in daily life.  As much as I enjoy these, I think it is time the Hot Lard staff point out some not-so-obvious successes you may have overlooked.

To get things started, here is a success story:

Here we see Tom Cruise has successfully recruited everyone’s favorite alien killer into the cult of Scientology!  So, our deepest and most-sincere congratulations go towards Tom Cruise!

Coming up next … Katie Holmes.