Hot Lard Flashback – THE FIRST POST!!!

Today at work I was bored and decided to surf through Hot Lard’s older posts to see if there was anything good that I could share with you. And as I thought, it was all crap, so I went to plan B. Find the first post we ever did.

After wading through tons of shit on the horrors of soccer, people with mullets, and midget porn, (Don’t ask) I was finally able to find…… THE FIRST POST!!!!!!!

Wait a minute…. Read that last part over again, but Click here for dramatic effect…. It’s OK, we’ll wait……….. You ready??? OK, 1……2……3…. Go!

FIRST POST

firstpost

Golly gee wiz, wasn’t that a real hoot?

Anywho, This first post was the one that started it all for Hot Lard. When it was written, this site was a complete unknown. Who knew that in a mere 45 days, it would become the 6th most powerful website on the Internet… You have to remember, this took place in 2007, things happened a lot faster back then.

It was this post that started me down the wondrous road of blogging. It showed me a way to reach out to more people than I had ever before. It gave me a tool to express my feelings and points of view. And it showed me that you, (Our wonderful readers) cared for none of that, and only wanted to see midget porn, puking high school girls, and naked pictures of former Disney starlets.

I will admit that this first post is a little rough around the edges. I was pretty new to the whole reading & writing thing. But it did show off my superior Photoshop skills and proved to the world that a new master, an artistic genius had arrived. Soon I would become the 3rd most powerful man on the internet and would rule over it like a God… an angry God.

And some 6 years later, because of this site, we now have the international space station, a cure for rectal warts, and flying cars. For that, you are welcome.

thank you hl

So without further ado…… To enjoy THE FIRST POST just click here

But do the dramatic music again… it’s sooooooooooooooo cool.

Hot Lard’s Top Ten Posts – #1

Number #1

Video of Hillary Duff Flashing People at a party

Created: April 23, 2008

Hits: 24,313

Boobies, Tah Tahs, Sweater Cows, Fun Bags, Head Lights, Milk Jugs, Meat Pillows…

If you say you have some naked tits, people will come. And if you say you have the naked tits of a child star, they will beat down your door and rape your dog to see them. That is exactly what must have happened with our most popular post (By Far) here at Hot Lard. We mentioned that we had a video of Hillary Duff flashing someone with a video camera and the readers ate it up. They started to trickle in at first, but then that trickle turned into a constant pouring of horney little internet nerds trying to catch a glimpse of Miss Duff’s, “Whoopee Cushions”. The only problem is that they came to our site to find them.

Silly Rabbit, tits are not for kids.

See the rest of the top 10 here

Amy Winehouse Wishes Hot Lard a Happy Birthday

Ummmmmmm, yes… hmmmm let’s see…

I’ll take a bucket of chicken and a double beef and bean burrito with a large side of chips and…. Huh??? What???? I’m doing what???

WHAT THE FUCK IS A HOT LARD?!?!?!?

Fuck you I’m not coming out of the closet, the killer spiders are out there.

Well anyway happy Easter to all of my fans and… Wha…. It’s not… I’m supposed to do what?

WHAT THE FUCK IS A HOT LARD?!?!?!?

I don’t want to do a PSA…. Oh fuck it give me the script…

Hey kids, don’t do drugs………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  Let them do you!!! HAHA HA H AH EEE HAH ERRRRRRRRR UGH HAW HAW ACK ACK …. Oh crap I just puked on myself again. Someone get me a towel…. Oh and get this fucking needle out of my arm!!!!

Huh…..?

WHAT THE FUCK IS A HOT LARD?!?!?!?

See our other B-day wishes here