Now that the “Sure Thing” “Favorite to win it all” “America’s Team” Dallas Cowboys have failed to make the playoffs, I know there are a whole lot of menstruating and suicidal Cowboy fans out there that have nothing to do for the playoffs. So we here at Hot Lard would like to give you a few things you can do now that your team has flopped in the most of epic proportions.
You can work on your dance moves…
Deliver those Easter eggs you been meaning to…
Get arrested with your penis hanging out…
Run until you shit yourself…
Ride your bike in traffic…
Go for a drive in your Barbie Corvette…
Drink beer until you die…
Smoke a joint with another whiny-ass Cowboy fan…
Shoot some hoops…
Go on a date with a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader…
Go on a second date with that Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader…
Wish you had never changed jobs…
Think up new team colors that would more closely represent the team…
Learn the Heimlich Maneuver for the next time they choke…
Or, just shut the fuck up until your team actually does something…
Enjoy the playoffs everybody :o)