Happy Holidays!

Christmas has arrived early here on Hot Lard, enjoy!!

What If….

Now and then I tend to think of random “What if’s”… What if cows could talk? Would hamburgers be as appealing if we had to listen to cows plead for mercy as they were being slaughtered.  What if cats had a cream filled center? What if saying “Pull my finger” was a means for war?

Today I was wondering…..

What if buildings were alive? How would they react to being torn down?

What if, Kermit the Frog was a vampire? Could he be trusted? Would he attack the cast of Twilight?… One could only hope.

What if Michael Jackson liked Vodka and Midget Hookers?

What if that glass wall at the zoo was not there?

….or had a crack in it?

What if the Devil was free to do his bidding? What evil would he unleash first?

What if I fell in love with a My Little Pony?

What if we could see farts?

What if I started working out?

What if I picked up an evil hitchhiker?

What if I got my hands on that little girl next door that keeps sticking her tongue out at me?

What if I were a Ninja?

What if I were a Jedi? Would I use my powers for good, or go over to the Dark Side and mess with my cat all day?

What if I were challenged to a dual today? Would this finally be the time I didn’t wet my pants?

What if I had the moves like Jagger?

What if I had some Macaroni & Cheese right now?  Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

HOT LARD EXCLUSIVE….. A first look at the Star Wars VII set

I can hardly wait to see this!!!!

If you would like to see a few stills from the up coming movie, click here.

The horrible truth Nintendo does not want you to know

My Thoughts by Ervin Shlopnick – A Father & Son

I had my last child later in life. I was nearly 40 when he was born and I am 48 today. I still enjoy doing all the things a father does with his son… Teaching him to ride a bike, going fishing, playing baseball, and skipping rocks. At times I wish I’d had him earlier in life, so my stamina would be more apt to keep up with him. But, I do the best that I can… When he is a senior in high school, I’ll be 59. I’m not sure if I will be able to keep up at all then… But he will be 18, and can legally view porn…. And that is something we can do sitting down.

We’re Away…

Click picture

Popeyes Runs Out of Chicken, Conspiracy??

Am I the only one (apparently not) that noticed something unusual about this video?

You’d think the reporter would’ve at least tried to find a white person.

Is this how stereotypes get started?  Or, is this simply fact?

Need a storage facility to keep your weed?

Got a bunch of crap laying around your house?

Got bags of weed you need to keep out of your basement?

Do you need to dig something up and get it out off your property ASAP, but don’t want to throw it away?

Do you live in Chicago?

Then look no further than Jones’ Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage:

Hot Lard’s Top Ten Posts – #1

Number #1

Video of Hillary Duff Flashing People at a party

Created: April 23, 2008

Hits: 24,313

Boobies, Tah Tahs, Sweater Cows, Fun Bags, Head Lights, Milk Jugs, Meat Pillows…

If you say you have some naked tits, people will come. And if you say you have the naked tits of a child star, they will beat down your door and rape your dog to see them. That is exactly what must have happened with our most popular post (By Far) here at Hot Lard. We mentioned that we had a video of Hillary Duff flashing someone with a video camera and the readers ate it up. They started to trickle in at first, but then that trickle turned into a constant pouring of horney little internet nerds trying to catch a glimpse of Miss Duff’s, “Whoopee Cushions”. The only problem is that they came to our site to find them.

Silly Rabbit, tits are not for kids.

See the rest of the top 10 here

Youtube Video of the Day – Wii Fit

Now, I’m not normally the person everyone would call a Wii Fanboy, but the video below is BY FAR the only reason why every guy should buy their lady the Wii Fit: