I knew this day was going to happen, I was just not expecting it to happen so soon. My daughter brought home her first hot friend. Now don’t get me wrong, I do not want to have sex with this girl or any thing like that. I’m just pointing out a fact; this friend of my daughter is hot.
I found myself not knowing how to act around this girl. Normally my daughter’s friends are real ugly and so my actions to them are pretty automatic. I don’t trip over my words and normally the day ends with me punching them in the mouth and saying, “Get out of my home you ugly skank-ho”.
But with this girl it was different. Obviously I can’t punch her; she’s not ugly. Punching an un-ugly girl would just not be right? Calling her a skank-ho at this tender age may ruin her for the time when being a skank-ho is appropriate.
It’s hard to be a father in these confusing times, it’s hard to know what’s right and what’s wrong when you are cohabitating with a teenage girl.
I do know one thing though…
Never, Never, Ever, Never, get caught standing over her wearing nothing but socks and a rubber ducky flotation device, while splattering her sleeping body with the blood of a chicken you just beheaded.
They seem to freak out over the simplest things… I’m so confused.
It’s been a while since I have created a full version of our award winning demotivational posters. But since the human sacrifice phase of this calendar year is now finished, I find I have a lot more spare time on my hands. So I sat down a whipped up a hot steamy batch of posters. Made with love, sweat, and monkey brains.
I really hope you like them. If you don’t, please let me know why you did not, plus I’d like to know who you are, where you live, your sleep patterns, and the time of the day your most vulnerable.
We have received two new reader submitted demotivational posters from one of our readers. This time it is Carl that has graced us with his wit and charm…
OK actually Carl has been calling me all hours of the night saying I had better post his stuff and say good thing about him, or he would put me in the cross hairs.
So ummmmmmm… Golly Carl….. Ummmm…. We’re really “Gulp” excited to have you here… (Help Me)…. with us. And we hope… (Call the Police)… we hear much more from you in the future.
You will need to go to our sister site Demotivational Minds to see them
Each Day before I go to work, I dip my elbows in Garbage.
We here at Hot Lard want to thank you for stopping by. And we NEVER want you to leave.
We will hunt you down, find you and drag you back kicking an screaming.
Have a great day.
These are not demtivational posters about beer…
I have just drank a lot of beer tonight and decided to create a few before the buzz wore off. If they suck… Well fuck it I was drunk. If they are good… I meant to do that.
Who wants to pull my finger?
So Here are a few really crappy demotivational posters I came up with.