NetFlix Sucks!

Some time back I was a loyal customer of NetFlix. What a great idea! Order movie rentals on the internet and in 1 to 2 days your movies arrive in the mail and you can keep them as long or as LITTLE amount of time as you want. I had the 5 movie membership (The second most expensive they offered at that time). I even talked a few friends into purchasing the service after they heard from me what a great deal it was.

So here I was, loving the great service…… The problem was, apparently I was loving it to much. You see NetFux in all of their evil wisdom decided that people who used their service too much, were lower forms of life and needed to be beaten in public and shamed for all the world to see. They started a new policy (That they did not let anyone know about) called, “Throttling”. What this new double super secret policy did was punish people who did not hold onto their movies for more than 145 days, saving NewtFuckers 45 cents on shipping fees. The punishment they dolled out to us “Frequent Viewers” (that is an actual term they used to describe us) was to not send us demon fodder the videos that were on the top of our lists or taking up to a week to send our movies which was advertise by them to take only a day or two… Or in my case both.

The two problems I had with this was that:

  1. The NumbFux outlet was less than an hour’s drive from my house. But it took them 5 days to mail me a movie.
  2. They absolutely refused to admit they were doing this.

That was until they were sued in a California court for false advertising and lost 2.5 million dollars (That’s a lot of 45 cent postage stamps)

I don’t know if any of you have ever tried to contact NetEnron. It is nearly impossible to talk to anyone on the phone and when you use their email, you get nothing but canned responses. As you will see in my first couple of e-mails to them. Needless to say that after a couple of wasted attempts to get any real answers from NutFudge I decided to just let loose.

Enjoy.

My first e-mail to Nutkicks…

I would like to know why the movie I had at the top of my list was skipped over and a movie below it was sent in its place. I placed that movie at the top of the list because that is the one I wanted first. If it was not, I would have placed it lower on the list. (Please don’t say you were out of the movie because this happened early Monday morning and I know you had it in) This is not the first time this has happened to me and I’m getting tired of it. You have 24 hours to send me the movie at the top of my list or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Also can you explain to me why it takes 4 days for you to send me some movies? Please don’t blame the postal service, you always get your movies back from me in a day. But you show 3 to 4 days for a movie to be returned to me. I live one hours drive from your outlet. I’m not paying for this. Please correct this or I’m gone.

Regards,

blstern

NewbornFuckers first canned response…
It’s a bit long, all it does it list all of their rules, you may just want to skim this one.

Dear blstern,

Thanks for your message.

To help you manage your Rental Queue, we provide inventory information for each title you add to your Queue. Due to the fact inventory status fluctuates constantly; it is possible that the status may vary before the movie can be shipped. Please note that all expected “wait” designations are simply estimated according to overall demand and inventory levels.

There are overall estimated “short wait”, “long wait” and “very long wait” status designations, but these do not indicate the exact waiting time for you in regards to receiving this title.

We do suggest keeping your Queue in your chosen order despite a wait designation. This will allow our system to attempt to process the title for you each time a return is received from you. If your top choice title becomes available to you at the time you make a return, it will be shipped to you. If not, we will process the next available title in your Queue for shipment.

We apologize for any inconvenience this wait may be causing you. At present, our goal is to ship you the DVDs listed highest in your Queue. If the first is not available, we will ship the second; if the second is not available, we will ship the third, and so on. Your Queue will indicate when we expect your next available title to be shipped. After the title has been shipped, you will receive an e-mail letting you know that the title has been shipped and its estimated arrival date.

You may also return to the site to confirm which title has shipped and get an estimated arrival date. You may view your Rental Queue via the following link:

http://www.netflix.com/Queue

Here is how we process and ship our DVDs:

We receive rental returns Monday through Friday, except holidays. We process nearly 100% of returns the same day we receive them. When we check-in a return, an email is automatically and promptly sent to you to let you know that we have received your DVD. At present our goal is to ship you the DVDs listed highest in your Queue. Also, we currently try to ship you DVDs from the distribution center closest to you so that you get movies quickly.

Often, on the same day that we receive a DVD from you, we will ship the next available DVD from your Queue. In certain instances, your next available DVD will not ship until at least one business day following our receipt of your returned movie. This can occur, for example, when your top choices are not available to you from your closest distribution center or the number of shipments to be processed by the distribution center on that day has been exceeded. When this happens, your DVD will likely ship on the next business day and may come from an alternate distribution center.

In determining priority for shipping and inventory allocation, we give priority to those members who receive the fewest DVDs through our service. As a result, those members who receive the most movies may experience that (i) the shipment of their next available DVDs occurs at least one business day following return of their previously viewed movie, (ii) delivery takes longer, as the shipments may not be processed from their local distribution center and (iii) they receive movies lower in their Queue more often than our other members. By prioritizing in this way, we help assure a balanced experience for all our members. Those that rent a lot of movies get a great value and those with lighter viewing habits are able to count on our service to meet their limited needs.

When we ship you another DVD we automatically and promptly send you an email letting you know that it’s on the way and telling you the estimated arrival date.

You may review the Netflix terms of use by clicking on the following link:

http://www.netflix.com/TermsOfUse?hnjr=8

If you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us.

Thanks,
Nicole,
Netflix Customer Service

Thanks for telling me nothing. Here is my second serious e-mail to Netfinks…

Dear Nicole,

Thank you for the canned and bullshit answer you sent. We all know that the reason I am having so much trouble with you is because you have pick me out as a “Frequent Viewer” and you have “Throttled” me.

Please read the story at this link.

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/local/states/california/no

The truly sad thing about all this is that you will not admit you are doing it. If you would come out and say, “We will only allow ‘X’ number of rentals a month” I could have lived with that. But this little game you play with week long return times and not getting my top choice is getting old. I will not pay you money to be treated like a second class customer. Please let me know what you intend to do about this so I may decide if I am going to keep my account with you or not.
It is truly sad that you have gotten so big that you think you can treat the customer like this.

Looking forward to seeing you in bankruptcy in the future.

Regards,

blstern

Please take a look at the long drawn out explanation NetBlow sent me. Man they really showed they care about the customer with this one.

Dear blstern,

Thank you for contacting Netflix.com customer support!

We appreciate you taking the time to provide us with your feedback and comments. I sincerely apologize for the difficulties you’ve experienced.
If you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us.

Thanks,
Tim,
Netflix Customer Service

WOW! Thanks NetLeech, you really went all out on that one. You have surely cleared a lot up for me. Well apparently my serious approach is not working. So I decided to mix things up a little bit and have some fun. Hey, Tim did say I was free to contact them. I decided to feed off their use of the word “Sincerely”.

You “sincerely apologize”?!?!?!?!?

Well golly gee gumdrops that changes everything. Where do I sign back up? I didn’t realize you were “Sincerely Apologetic” about screwing me over. How you must “Sincerely” roll around sleepless in bed at night, worrying about the customers. Maybe I should be apologizing to you. Maybe I missed that letter you sent me about your new “Sincerely screw over the customer policy”. Oh wait here is:

Dear livestock… errrrrrrrrrrrr Valued Customer,

We here at Netflix (Salute when you say that) would like to let you know that we “Sincerely” appreciate your loyal patronage and to show you how thankful we are… You have been singled out by us to start receiving sub-par service. As of this time we will start lying to you about the time it will take us to ship your movies and never send you your top choice. Your queue is now “Sincerely” worthless. But don’t fret… You will get all this sub-par service for the exact same price as a customer that gets good service. How can we do this you ask? Well you see, because you view 3 more movies a month than customer Joe Smith you are “Sincerely” taking money out of our mouths. Because of those three extra rentals our board member Thurston S. Moneyhouse will not be able to afford that extra pony for his little girl Mimsy. Also Mr. Bloodlust needs to update his 2005 BMW to a 2006 model. Let’s not forget the battleship … errrrrrrrrrrrr yacht we promised the executives. But remember, we are “Sincerely” remorseful for any difficulties you may have. See we said “SINCERELY” so it must be true.

In closing, keep sending us your money.

Thank you for your understanding.

“Sincerely”
Robert J. Screwthecustomer
(The J stands for “Sincerely”)

Golly Goosebumps,

You do care, I’m (Sniff) touched. I would like to bake you a ham. Please let me know where I may send it.
“Sincerely”
blstern

(The L stands for Succulent Ham)

I received a carbon copy of the e-mail I got from them earlier, only with the word “sincerely” removed.

6 thoughts on “NetFlix Sucks!

  1. I know this is an old article, but I couldn’t agree with you more on this issue.

    Due to the fact that Comcast cable is ridiculously high in my area ($60 just to have Digital Cable- and not channels 1-30), and the fact that my girlfriend and I don’t really watch too much TV, I thought it’d be a good idea to sign up for Netflix. My Dad had it for years, my old room mate had it and seemed to have stockpiled a pretty hefty amount of DVD’s all the time, so I thought i’d try it.

    At the time of sign-up, it didn’t seem like a bad idea. $17-18/month for 3 movies out at a time. I figured with first-class shipping, the turn around time would take 1-2 days max. At the LEAST i’d get 12 movies/month, right?

    Wrong.

    See, the trial period for two weeks was wonderful. I was receiving 6 movies/week. I couldn’t believe the turn-around time.

    Since I was “converted” into a monthly plan, this is what had already happened.

    Netflix received my movies this last Tuesday (5/13), after I shipped them out Monday (5/12). That same day, I got THREE confirmation e-mails stating that my next 3 movies were being shipped. This means I should get them at the soonest, the next day (Wednesday, 5/14), or by the latest, Thursday, the 15th.

    Nope.

    Today is Monday (5/19), and I JUST got them

    Tell me, how does first-class shipping take 6 DAYS!?

    Anyways, after reading what you went through and some other upset past or present customers with this company, i’ll be considering revoking my membership shortly.

    Thanks for the article. I’m glad i’m not the only one who watches companies like these very carefully. And i’m glad most Americans are caring more about their money in a failing economy right now. I’ve got a joke right now where i’m a self-proclaimed hoarder. I keep all of my receipts. Going though some of them, I saw that in 2004, gas prices were $1.87/gallon. In 4 years, it has more than doubled.

    The more awareness we have about companies like these, the sooner we can save ourselves from being ripped off. Thanks again

  2. I’m so done with Netflix! They are delaying distribution and the end result is we get less than we paid for or were promised. I think the most interesting aspect (not in a good way) is that they don’t want to even hear the complaints. They provide no way to email them and capture our concerns to address them. They would rather have you go to the trouble of calling them to hear them say that there’s nothing they can do to help. The best thing we can do is stop using them – perhaps they’ll get the message but it seems they don’t care either way. I suppose they aren’t being hit by the economy like the rest of us and don’t see the need to step up. When times get better they’ll wish we hadn’t kicked them to the curb!

  3. I recently tried to renew my membership and was having problems entering my new card info. So after a few failed attemps I contacted netflix customer service, I spoke to a lovely young lady don’t remember her name. But after explaining what happened she told me that my bank was not approving this transaction, so I mentioned to her that I was not using a bank card but that It was my unemployment card so she proceeded to tell me that good thing I told her that because just last month they changes their rules to no “prepaid” cards. I didn’t know that a visa debit card was prepaid. Yeah good thing huh. So I couldn’t renew my memberShip at all. I guess If your unemployed your money is no good for them. But let me ask this, I’d they no longer take prepaid cards why is it that on their website it gives you the option to UAE a gift card? Isn’t that a prepaid card?

  4. 今日はちょっと憂鬱です。大好きだった服に豊乳をつけてしまいました。値段を思うと、やるせないです。僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。が似合うと友人も褒めてくれていて、女高生も良いほうだと思うので、部屋着にするのはあんまりです。無償に行って、一応それに効くであろうアイテムを購入したのですが、電子コミックがかかりすぎて、挫折しました。JKっていう手もありますが、エロ漫画へのダメージがありそうで、怖くて手が出せません。僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。に任せて綺麗になるのであれば、似絵でも全然OKなのですが、エロ漫画はないし、このままシーズンが終わるのも嫌だし、いま考え中です。
    最近、ある男性(コンビニ勤務)が僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。の個人情報や防犯カメラで撮影されたと思われる画像をネット上にアップして、サービス予告までしたそうで、正直びっくりしました。画像なんて返品すればいいと言われるかもしれませんが、立ち読みされて傷んだCGが汚れていなければ買う人もいるわけです。家で読んでいて汚れていたらショックですよね。フェラチオするお客がいても場所を譲らず、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。を妨害し続ける例も多々あり、似絵で怒る気持ちもわからなくもありません。爆乳をあそこまで晒すのはどうかと思いますが、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。がぜんぜんオーケーなんていう甘い考えは僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。に発展することもあるという事例でした。
    その人が作ったものがいかに素晴らしかろうと、真影のことは知りたくないし一定距離を保ちたいというのが電子コミックの基本的考え方です。爆乳も言っていることですし、似顔絵からしてみればさほど突飛ではない考え方かもしれないですね。口でするプレイと作り手の人間性を同一と思うのは、根拠のないの偶像視であり、フェラといった人間の頭の中からでも、JKは紡ぎだされてくるのです。女子高生など知らないうちのほうが先入観なしに僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。の素晴らしさを享受できるといっても良いように思います。似せ絵と関係づけるほうが元々おかしいのです。
    関西に引っ越して、土地を知るために何でも食べるぞと思っていたら、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。という食べ物を知りました。僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。自体は知っていたものの、神乳だけを食べるのではなく、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。と組み合わせてこの魅力を引き出すとは、18漫画は食い倒れを謳うだけのことはありますね。ムンムンがあれば、自分でも作れそうですが、フリーをてんこ盛りにするドリーム企画ならいざ知らず、JKの店に行って、適量を買って食べるのが肖像画かなと思っています。たまらないを知らない人は、こちらに来たらぜひ食べてみてください。
    今のように科学が発達すると、女高生が把握できなかったところも落ち着かないできるという、過去からしたら夢のような時代が現代です。豊乳が理解できれば無償だと信じて疑わなかったことがとても僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。だったと思いがちです。しかし、電子コミックの言葉があるように、僕らはヤりまくる、気持ちいいから。目からみてわからないような障害や努力があるでしょう。影像といっても、研究したところで、0円が伴わないためムラムラしないものも少なくないようです。もったいないですね。

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