We’re Away…

Click picture

Hot Lard has passed the 100K mark!

On behalf of the entire Hot Lard staff, we would like to thank all 4 or our readers for getting us over 100,000 hits.

Microsoft Patches MAJOR FLAW

It’s about time this gets resolved … I’m sick and tired of my PC not waking up after hibernation.  Why do I configure it to hibernate?  Well, when your machine is as powerful as mine, then you need to conserve energy when it’s not being used.

Review the SYMPTOMS bullet items.

It’s great that Microsoft finally expended some resources to get this resolved before securing their flawed operating systems.

Source: www.istartedsomething.com

Jean-Claude Van Damme vs Windows

Don’t mess with Van Damme, Windows.  You will pay.

Microsoft Technical Support

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.

The Personnel Manager said, “Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one.  Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.”

Mujibar said, “I am ready.”

The manager said, “Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green.”

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, “Mister manager, I am ready.”

The manager said, “Go ahead.”

Mujibar said, “The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, ‘Yellow, this is Mujibar.’”

Mujibar now works at a Microsoft Technical Help Center.

No doubt you have spoken to him.  I know I have.

I thought about categorizing this as under jokes, but the joke isn’t funny anymore.

Installing iTunes

You tell me what is wrong with this picture, as I fail to see how the two applications are remotely connected:

Is there some fancy feature where I can listen to my MP3s using Outlook 2003 that I am not aware of?

Sure, go ahead and blast me for not realizing that I could sync my Outlook calendar to my iPod.  Oh wait, maybe I should buy an iPod.  And, if I had one maybe I would have it connected via USB that would actually force the error you see above.

Better yet, why the fuck does Apple insist on installing iTunesHelper.exe and iPodService.exe when I have NEVER connected an iPod to my computer?

Apple, if you’re listening (and I know Steve Jobs is a huge fan of Hot Lard) … where are the options in the iTunesSetup.exe where I can deselect iPod connectivity?  I simply cannot spare any more resources of my 3.49 GB of RAM to allow you to install two services that never actually are used.

God, I hate the way Apple is cranking out their shitty iTunes software.  It is about high-time I uninstall this garbage.  See Maddox for more information.

Toshiba Gives Blu-ray a Blow-job

In light of the recent news, some readers might want to bow your heads in silence and remember…

Internet Explorer 7 Sucks

What ever happen to a browser behaving like it’s supposed to?

Don’t you hate it when your Internet Options are configured as:

And when you start IE7, you’re presented with this:

As you can clearly see, the stupid-ass Windows page IS NOT my Home page, as it has been previously instructed so in the top screenshot.  I know it works sometimes because I will click the Home page icon and go to my Personalized Google page!

Come on Microsoft, this is your 7th attempt at making a internet browser that doesn’t suck.   I guess this is one of MANY reasons why you’ve single-handedly driven users to alternatives.

Butwheaty’s Xbox 360 Update

Well, Microsoft put me in the front of the line at the McAllen, TX repair center.  I shall soon receive my 4th XBOX 360 console.  I have high hopes of actually receiving a console that doesn’t break after 24 hours, as did the one I just sent in.

If this sucka breaks (again), I may just end up driving to McAllen and paying some folks a visit.

I’ll be sure to bring my younger brother along to do my whining for me (see pic).  He’s pretty good at annoying the crap outta people.  Maybe Bill Gates will be in town when I visit.

Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself and actually forecasting a breakage.  Shit, it isn’t like I’m not used to it by now.

With all the shit-360s I’ve been through, I’ve missed out the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare MP BETA (yes, I had token to play that); I missed the Halo 3 launch; I missed an XBLA fire sale.  Basically, Microsoft has forced me to watch about two months of crappy TV.

I’ll be back online Monday.

CONFIRMED: Bungie breaks up with Microsoft

Well, it’s now official … Bungie Studios and Microsoft have broken-up. Grab your tissues and wipe your tears Microsoft fanboys … Bungie will now make games for any platform they want. I still stand by my prediction that we’ll see Halo on Sony’s Playstation 3.

So how about it Sony fanboys … do you even want to play Halo on your beloved PS3? I know many of you do, just as 360 fanboys would like to play Metal Gear Solid. In this day-and-age, it’s almost stupid to not go cross-platform … games cost a ton of money, and the best way to get a decent return (sometimes, any return at all) is to make games for all the hardware platforms.

But then again, how do you build a brand name if every single game developer makes games for all the hardware? Exclusives are always going to exist; that’s why the 3DO failed. Trip Hawkins believed in one hardware platform, and he failed miserably due to poor studio support (no one believed him).

So, good luck Bungie … I’m sure your divorce from Microsoft will be liberating!