Topless Photo of Amanda Bynes

Every now and then a cash cow news scoop just lands in your lap. Then looks up at you and says, use me like a cheap Taiwanese hooker with one leg and no short term memory.

……and that is exactly what has happened here.

It appears that one of Amanda Bynes many personalities got loose with her body in front of a camera and decided to take her shirt and bra off.

Click on the thumbnail below to take you to the location we have the picture saved. It’s too steamy to to keep it on the front page. This is a classy site after all.




Hot Lard’s Book Deal

chuck-norris-book.pngWord around the campfire is that a couple of WordPress blogs have book deals in the works.  I think this is excellent news, as it gives the Hot Lard staff a number to work with when the Knopf Publishing Group comes knocking on our door with a wheel barrel full of cash.

If When they come knocking, we will be ready for them.  We’ve got a good start on the table of contents.  What do you think so far?

Chapter 1: The Meeting of two Great Minds

1.1: Count of Flanders and Ervin meet while attending the Naval Academy at Carnival Cruise Lines

1.1.1: Operation Pajama Pants in Panama City
1.1.2: Graduation day; worst commercial ship accident logged in Caspian Sea
1.1.3: One wild evening in Tehran!

1.2: Joining the Mile High Club, the easy way.

1.2.1: Ervin and the Count earn our wings to score with KLM hotties.
1.2.2: Tragedy and redemption on the North Sea.

Chapter 2: Degrees of Separation

2.1: Genealogy Secrets Revealed

2.1.1: Lineage dates back to …
2.2.2: Family Reunion proves deadly for some

2.2: Ervin and the Count embark a cross-country trek to trace their roots

Chapter 3: Ervin Discovers the Internet

3.1: Ervin plays internet poker and wins jackpot

3.2: Ervin gets invited to join webcam chat

3.3: Ervin registers

3.4: Ervin discovers vacant farm and sets up shop

Chapter 4: Count of Flanders graduates from the University of Pheonix

4.1: The job hunt

4.2: Life in the Police Academy is earily similar to part 2

phoenix-cop.jpg4.3: Count of Flanders accepts agreement to model for the University of Pheonix for internet-based advertisements

Chapter 5: Living Apart

5.1: Ervin buys a goat

5.2: Ervin marries goat

5.3: Ervin sews his own flannel shirts

5.4: Ervin cheats on goat

5.5: Ervin registers

Chapter 6: A new beginning

6.1 Ervin and the Count join forces to rule the internet

Chapter 7: Count of Flanders learns of book deals for bloggers

Chapter 8: Count of Flanders makes up Table of Contents

Chapter 9: Count of Flanders is overwhelmed by media blitzkrieg

Chapter 10: Hot Lard’s email inbox is flooded with scores and megabytes of hottie girls photos.

As you can see, there are some chapters needing additional material.  Using my newfound ability to foresee the future, I predict all will be fully-realized.

I sit and wait…

Olan Mills Awesomeness

Actual Olan Mills photos

Those glasses came free with a purchase of Brut cologne.

Thoughtful Lance. Mirthful Lance. Two sides of a delightful coin.

Drake won Bitchin’est Senior Mullet by a landslide.

That dude wore a tie for nothing.

The Purvis family made several stops along the Oregon Trail to document their six-month journey. This photo was taken just two weeks before the dysentery took Momma to Jesus.

I wanted a shot like this for my wedding.  The Mrs. said NO.

It’s called a leisure suit, ladies and germs, and if you didn’t have one in the early 70s, you were a big fat loser. Mine was teal. I wore it with a silk floral shirt and a long necklace with a football player pendant that we all got at that year’s team banquet. I was THE MAN.

Once they had two or three, how did they ever find enough time alone to make more?

No comment.

Olan Mills backdrop #4: Bucolic Meadow with Split Rail Fence. Is that an animal carcass behind her?

A pose like this will get you kicked right out of the Convention.

Oh, this is super.  What better way to capture the charm and innocence of a child than to plunk him down amid the coarse trappings of a life lived in pursuit of wealth — oversized bills, an adding machine and the Wall Street Journal — and make him sit inside a briefcase? (They probably just fold up the little demon right in there to carry him home.) The finishing touch is the globe, which completes the portrait of the young Antichrist in Chess King vest and Red Goose loafers, plotting his takeover of the world (insert maniacal laugh). That is, as soon as someone changes his poopy diaper.

Bobbi isn’t the first waitress to fall for her manager, but she and Dale both got fired from Shoney’s.

Rejected Toby Keith album cover.

Just a typical afternoon down on the plantation.  In a business suit.  Y’know, for a budget meeting with the slaves.

Dawn and her recently exhumed sister, Gorgotha, pose with Scraps.

This photo isn’t discolored. The 70s really were that orange.

And don’t miss the First Presbyterian Players as they perform “Godspell” next Wednesday night in the Fellowship Hall.  Childcare will be provided.  Please bring a covered dish.

At the Southern Baptist Convention?

No comment.

Olan Mills Backdrop #11: The Library, one of their most popular themes, as seen in this photo of the young Unabomber and his wife.

The Library might be more believable if the shelves weren’t sloping downhill.

Olan Mills is all about versatility.  The simple addition of a column turns this generic plantation into Tara, where apparently, someone opened a Hair Cuttery.  This Dorothy Hamill cut was very popular in 70s after Doro won Olympic gold.  Both my sisters had the cut at different times. I did not — although I did have a huge crush on Dorothy.

Patrick broke ranks and chose drag over the bow tie.

You’d think Pearle Vision would throw in another two pairs for free.

Grapefruit smuggling isn’t a crime, but posing it in profile should be.

Kenneth and his prom date.

I got a $20 that says he drives a Camaro.

Hiroshima , 1945.  The last known photo of Kelli and Señor Loco.

Someone spent money on this.

It’s so cute when couples have matching hairdos.

Talk about a third wheel…

I’d hide my face, too, little girl.

Nothing says 1973 quite like denim and helmet hair.

B-52’s, the early years.

She’s looking for the speaker that’s piping in “Muskrat Love” so she can blast it with her laser eyes.

Hot Lard has the nude photo of Vanessa Hudgens

Official Hot Lard 5000 + Hit Post

You may have seen this headline on

Nude photo emerges of ‘High School Musical’ star

Well my little teen idol nudie freaks, Hot Lard has found this photo and is offering it up for your viewing pleasure.

But first I would like to say that I am somewhat disappointed in the photo. You know how it is, you see someone in a bikini and they look really hot. But when you see the whole package, it is somewhat of a letdown. That was my reaction to the photo. But please, you be the judge.

Vanessa Hudgens’ nude photo

Update 11/23/07

Hot Lard has gotten Their dirty little paws on some other nude photos of little Vanessa, Check ’em out!

Vanessa Hudgens’ nude on a horse

Vanessa Hudgens’ nude at the circus

Vanessa Hudgens’ getting her freak on with another girl

Vanessa Hudgens’ doing charity work.

Vanessa Hudgens’ standing on her head…… ummmmmmm NAKED!!!

Dick Van Dike naked….. while Vanessa Hudgens’ watches

Vanessa Hudgens’ sister naked!!!