THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!

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OK Hot Lard readers I have something important to tell you, so sit down and shut the hell up.

In my absence we are going to have a guest author filling in. Shana Rae of Network Rae has graciously accepted an invitation (A royal invitation) to be an author on Hot Lard.

Now before I turn her loose on the lot of you. I have a few things I need to let you know…. AND a few rules to go over with you.

monty-pythons-flying-circus-john-cleeses-personal-best-20060412034952302First, Shana is from the UK, so she will most likely interject a certain class and sophistication to this site that a lot of you are not used to or ready for.

Most likely, she will use things like….. Words… and Punctuation…. and Correct Grammar. These are things that I have never found to be very import for a Blog, but I hear the British do.

So as you read along with one of her posts, please do not let your head explode…. It makes a real mess that’s hard to clean up.

exploding-head-o

mericaAlso there may be some cultural differences. Most of my readers are from the states, so you are interested in things like…. Monster Trucks…. Explosions…. Double Bacon Cheeseburgers…. You know, the important stuff.

The British on the other hand, are a more refine and civil culture. They are more into…. The Fine Arts….. Global Economics…. and really Really REALLY big Ferris Wheels. You may also read some words that make no sense to you. That is because the British speak another language. Don’t be surprises to read such things like… “Whilst”… or “Tea Time”…. or even “Ni” (I really like Ni). And whatever you do, do not say anything bad about the Queen. The rock band, not the monarchy. I really like the music of Queen and I will not have them bad mouthed here. However, if she starts to talk about One Direct, I give you all permission to attack.

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A little culture and class may do you all good. It’s about time that my readers see what else the world has to offer. Who knows, you may all embrace these new things, rather than your normal first instinct of killing it with fire.

OK, now for the rules!!!!

We will all behave in Shana’s presents. I have given her the same permissions I have, so that means she can come to your homes and shave your hair off if you act up.

im_off_to_do_british_things_pinback_buttons-rf8874d46c4a14dfdaf9bfdea65e599db_x7j12_8byvr_512Elizabeth… Shana knows you like to use fake names, so just stick to your real one.

Cat, please take a grapefruit off your head and sit in your chair,

Buffalo Tom, keep your pants on. We all know you are a male cat, we do not need proof.

Steve, no she does not want to play doctor.

Sloth……… ummmmm..Well, just don’t bite this one, please.

And the rest of you mind your manners also. I’m not far away and if I hear you have been out of line, I will turn the car around and no visit to gramma’s house.

I know you will all enjoy Shana in my absence. Please make her feel welcome. Shana, have fun. As I have already told you, there are no rules. Write about whatever you want (Except One Direct) and if the readers start getting that “Deer in the head lights” look to them,  just stick words like, Butt, Fart, & Poopypants into the post and they will snap right out of it.

Enjoy!!!

4 thoughts on “THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!

  1. By ‘eck lad you went reet over t’top with that ‘un…

    …ahem what where you saying about using me best English?!! Just hope folks get used to my dry sense of humour, otherwise I’ll be walking the plank!

    ps Thank you, I am most humbled, but not on my knees, the floor’s still mucky!!

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