I Dream of Shawn Johnson

Official Hot Lard 1000 Hit Post

Some of you manly dudes might be aware of a sport called … get ready for it … gymnastics.  Turns out, our own Iowa-bred beauty Shawn Johnson is headed to Bejing, which oddly enough translates to “Land of smog and gay porn”.


Am I the only one who has noticed that this chic is about the best thing to come to gymnastics since Anna Kournikova started playing tennis?  The thing that sets Shawn apart from Anna is that she actually has talent.  Anna certainly has the looks, and while some may label me as “sicko”, don’t freakin’ tell me that you don’t think Shawn Johnson is pretty darn … uhm, “good at gymnastics”.  Right?

If you don’t know what I’m talking about (that is, if all you’ve seen of her is wearing her tights with her hair pulled back, really hard), then you should check out her Flickr page, or her official site.

Much like Hot Lard is anxiously awaiting that moment when Mary Kate & Ashley finally succomb to wishes from nerds all over the world, we anxiously await to see Shawn Johnson fulfill her destiny.

Oh yeah, I really do sincerly hope she does well in Bejing.  I will watch her on TV and make generalized comments to my wife about “how young she looks” and hope for the best.  Maybe she won’t notice.

35 thoughts on “I Dream of Shawn Johnson

  1. I’m 27 and yes she’s 16 but i don’t care what any of you say the girl is fucking hot as hell, that face! that body!… call me whatever you want but I would fuck that girl so hard she would be beging for more after 20 minutes of getting pounded.

  2. yes, she is very very pretty. She is the best in the world…but, billy, come on dude…she better take all around gold in the olympics…sheis dominating so far!

  3. What the fuck?

    She’s 16 years old first off, so technically that’s illegal Billy. Second off, don’t fuck up her life…

    We’ve seen it happen to all young, pretty celebrities. I.E. Brittany Spears, Olsen twins, Vanessa Hudgens. So yeah…learn how to treat her like a lady…

    Also, you are a sick bastard and should die =]

  4. callense ijos d puta primero aprendan a limpiarse el culo y luego vienen a hablar d pendejadas
    pinches gringos cara d culos

  5. I completely disagree with this article. Shawn Johnson is not that good looking. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t like the flat-chest and bucktooth combo. Alicia Sacramone on the other hand is a goddess, and legal. Too bad she choked yesterday.

  6. This article/blog entry was written because it was something I was thinking about. Everyone likes to read about what others think, so I figured “why not?”

    Besides, I’m from Iowa and stalks of corn aren’t very pretty to look at.

  7. Like I said people! who cares what you think or how wrong it seems, lets face it and please lets be honest and cut the crap… that girl might be 16 but her body is completely ready for sex, she’s smoking hot! face! body! she’s got it all.. she’s even got cute feet! and gymnasts never do! she’s perfect, besides the fact of the matter is that about 40% of the pregnancies in this country are all a bunch of teenagers so why would it be such a shock that this one is also ready to fuck. Trust me, with the splits that girl can do she can take 8″ of meat and be handling it like a pro in 5 minutes flat!

  8. Yeah I would never fuck a silver medalist even if she’s as hot as Shawn is. We need to start talking about Nastia I would give it to her so hard doggy style and instead of pulling on her hair I would pull on her gold medal! Nice!

  9. Actually people, I retract my last statement… I’m very very sorry but after carefull review of yet more of Shawn Johnsons pictures I can’t do it! I can’t! she’s wait too fucking hot! I don’t care if she didn’t even win a bag of crackerjacks at the olympics, I would pound her tight little kitty so hard! oh the things I would do to her…. but, Nastia as the gold medalist and also pretty, made me think of something… picture this guys, I’m laying down and Nastia is doing a split right on my face and Shawn is doing squating, pushing my meat right into her tight little …. all this while Nastia and Shawn make out! Oh man! if I could only find a fucking genie lamp.

  10. she is the most beautiful babe on the planet.I have every picture of her on the web.Can’t wait too see her in the 2012 olympics,going to be great.she is way hot.this site is really old,as shawn is now 19 years old.

  11. Pingback: Hot Lard Flashback – I Dream of Shawn Johnson | Hot Lard

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