Clunker of the Day

Not a bad car before the idiot drove over the rock.  It is now!

I imagine the conversation she’s having with her husband as:

Dumb Wife: Hi honey, how are you today?

Worn-to-knub Husband: Fine, what do you want?

Dumb Wife: Well, I thought I would come have lunch with you today on my day off!

Worn-to-knub Husband: I brought my lunch today; remember, you made it. * sigh *

Dumb Wife: Oh, well drive-thru fast food sounds good, doesn’t it?

Worn-to-knub Husband: Whatever … I’ll take a cheeseburger and fries.

Dumb Wife: OK, I’m almost there [faking it] OH GOD, NOOOOOOOO!  JESUS CHRIST THAT SONUVA BITCH JUST CUT ME OFF [begin fake crying]!  OH DEAR … THAT ASSHOLE MADE ME SWERVE AND HIT A HUGE ROCK!!! That totally wasn’t my fault!  [fake crying commencing full-blown now]

Worn-to-knub Husband: God dammit, WHAT HAPPENED!?!? Why are you crying?  WHATS WRONG WITH THE CAR?!

Dumb Wife: Oh god, all you can think about is why I’m crying!  I ALMOST DIED! You selfish prick, the car is on top of this big rock because that asshole cut me off and I almost died and all you can think of [fake sniff] is the stupid car!

Worn-to-knub Husband: I’m sorry sweatie, I don’t care about the car.  Are you alright?  Where are you and I’ll be right there!

Dumb Wife: I’m at the White Castle on Crenshaw Blvd, hurry! [sniff-sniff]

Worn-to-knub Husband: I’ll be right there … you stay put.  Don’t worry, it’ll be fine!

* CLICK *

Dumb Wife (mumbles to self): “ha-ha, sucker”

Am I right, or am I right?!

— Count of Flanders

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