Not a bad car before the idiot drove over the rock. It is now!
I imagine the conversation she’s having with her husband as:
Dumb Wife: Hi honey, how are you today?
Worn-to-knub Husband: Fine, what do you want?
Dumb Wife: Well, I thought I would come have lunch with you today on my day off!
Worn-to-knub Husband: I brought my lunch today; remember, you made it. * sigh *
Dumb Wife: Oh, well drive-thru fast food sounds good, doesn’t it?
Worn-to-knub Husband: Whatever … I’ll take a cheeseburger and fries.
Dumb Wife: OK, I’m almost there [faking it] OH GOD, NOOOOOOOO! JESUS CHRIST THAT SONUVA BITCH JUST CUT ME OFF [begin fake crying]! OH DEAR … THAT ASSHOLE MADE ME SWERVE AND HIT A HUGE ROCK!!! That totally wasn’t my fault! [fake crying commencing full-blown now]
Worn-to-knub Husband: God dammit, WHAT HAPPENED!?!? Why are you crying? WHATS WRONG WITH THE CAR?!
Dumb Wife: Oh god, all you can think about is why I’m crying! I ALMOST DIED! You selfish prick, the car is on top of this big rock because that asshole cut me off and I almost died and all you can think of [fake sniff] is the stupid car!
Worn-to-knub Husband: I’m sorry sweatie, I don’t care about the car. Are you alright? Where are you and I’ll be right there!
Dumb Wife: I’m at the White Castle on Crenshaw Blvd, hurry! [sniff-sniff]
Worn-to-knub Husband: I’ll be right there … you stay put. Don’t worry, it’ll be fine!
* CLICK *
Dumb Wife (mumbles to self): “ha-ha, sucker”
Am I right, or am I right?!
— Count of Flanders