I Miss Gary Busey

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The other day I was browsing the Blu-ray release schedule looking to see what movies I couldn’t buy because I don’t have a Blu-ray player.  Low and behold, I my eyes did a double-take at one in particular … Point Break.  I think this movie is mostly considered a cult film nowadays, and I don’t even think it was regarded as a big Hollywood blockbuster back in the day.

gary-busey-pointbreak.jpgNonetheless, my extreme passion for this film isn’t because of Patrick Swayze (we wish you well Patrick … we love you!) or Keanu Reeves … rather, it’s Gary Busey‘s neurotic performance of FBI Agent Angelo Pappas I enjoy.  And that translate to me having to suffer through scene after scene of Neo-esc acting by Keanu, which is outright BRUTAL!  Gary’s performance MORE than makes up for it.

Gimme two Utah; TWO!

I should clarify a little; yes, I did have a hard-on for Lori Petty … just to set the record straight.  So, in remembrance (no, she isn’t dead) here is a nice and clean photo of Lori in Point Break:

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I’m sure during filming, there was a slip up and her towel dropped to the ground when she’s changing from her swimsuit bottom into her jean-shorts (commando-style).  Mr Woodrow Wilson makes an appearance every time I see it.  I know she probably doesn’t want to be remembered as the only one to give the Count a certified Woodrow Wilson, but oh well … she’s hot and deserves to know about it.

So, to recap … Gary Busey rocks in this movie.  In fact, Gary Busey kicks so much ass in every single movie he appears.  Remember that one movie about lawyers?  He’s a private investigator?  He got a blow job by Holly Hunter.  ROCK ON!  Of course, Jigsaw thought it’d be funny and shot him … prick.

Remember that crazy wilderness man in that one movie with the Chris Farley and David Spade?  He played a guy named Drake Sabitch … how cool a name is that?!  That guy is crazy!

Gary’s had some memorable moments along the years, all of which I’m sure have made him stronger as a person, and an actor.  When Ervin Shlopnick (barnyard porn mogul that he is) told me about his operation to remove a golf ball-sized cum clot from his anus, that sure didn’t sound like fun.  I can’t imagine having a plum-sized tumor removed from your sinus must feel like.  Jeez, can you image this shit coming out of his nose when he blew it?  Must’ve made lung butter look better than a Perkins hot apple pipe with ice cream on top (still not very good).

During his career, Gary had time create an equally kick-ass kid, Jake!

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The entire Busey family is so freaking cool, I can’t even explain it.  Remember Starship Troopers?  Yep, Jake was in that (another all-time favorite of the Count) and played a guy named Ace!  This family can do no wrong.

The only unknown that this time is when are Gary and Jake going to get together and create the next summer blockbuster?  I can’t even begin to fathom the awesomeness of such a collaboration.

I wish I knew Gary’s email address so that I could personally contact him and tell him how much he means to me.  But, I’m sure he keeps tabs on his name in the news and I’m sure he’ll venture across Hot Lard some day.  If you do Gary, please feel free to leave a comment and let us know how you’re doing!

— Count of Flanders

UPDATE!

So new information has come to my attention that I thought was necessary to add to my post.

Some of you may be aware the Gary was drug addict a while back, which explains a lot of his strange behavior.  Well, this was interesting … a while back, someone asked him the following question:

What was the freakiest thing you ever snorted blow off of when you were a prominent coke fiend?

to which he replied:

I came home one day, took off my windbreaker, and three bindles of cocaine fell to the floor. Well, my dog, Chili, who has short hair, came in and laid on her back with her legs in the air, and she rubbed all my cocaine on her back and side. I yelled, “No, Chili! No” So I got a straw, and I started brushing her hair and snorting where I saw cocaine. Back, butt, side — not a spot was left. It took me 25 minutes to snort all the cocaine the dog had on her coat. The fringe benefits of this were that the fleas, the dog hair, the mud, and the sweat went in my nose, too. It’s not a good flavor coming off the dog.

Now, is that like worst possible story a drug addict could admit to?  Wow, Gary had certainly stooped to a new low.  I’m glad he got back onto his feet to return to normalcy.

3 thoughts on “I Miss Gary Busey

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