Hot Lard’s Book Deal

chuck-norris-book.pngWord around the campfire is that a couple of WordPress blogs have book deals in the works.  I think this is excellent news, as it gives the Hot Lard staff a number to work with when the Knopf Publishing Group comes knocking on our door with a wheel barrel full of cash.

If When they come knocking, we will be ready for them.  We’ve got a good start on the table of contents.  What do you think so far?

Chapter 1: The Meeting of two Great Minds

1.1: Count of Flanders and Ervin meet while attending the Naval Academy at Carnival Cruise Lines

1.1.1: Operation Pajama Pants in Panama City
1.1.2: Graduation day; worst commercial ship accident logged in Caspian Sea
1.1.3: One wild evening in Tehran!

1.2: Joining the Mile High Club, the easy way.

1.2.1: Ervin and the Count earn our wings to score with KLM hotties.
1.2.2: Tragedy and redemption on the North Sea.

Chapter 2: Degrees of Separation

2.1: Genealogy Secrets Revealed

2.1.1: Lineage dates back to …
2.2.2: Family Reunion proves deadly for some

2.2: Ervin and the Count embark a cross-country trek to trace their roots

Chapter 3: Ervin Discovers the Internet

3.1: Ervin plays internet poker and wins jackpot

3.2: Ervin gets invited to join webcam chat

3.3: Ervin registers http://www.2girls1cup.com

3.4: Ervin discovers vacant farm and sets up shop

Chapter 4: Count of Flanders graduates from the University of Pheonix

4.1: The job hunt

4.2: Life in the Police Academy is earily similar to part 2

phoenix-cop.jpg4.3: Count of Flanders accepts agreement to model for the University of Pheonix for internet-based advertisements

Chapter 5: Living Apart

5.1: Ervin buys a goat

5.2: Ervin marries goat

5.3: Ervin sews his own flannel shirts

5.4: Ervin cheats on goat

5.5: Ervin registers http://www.goatse.cx

Chapter 6: A new beginning

6.1 Ervin and the Count join forces to rule the internet

Chapter 7: Count of Flanders learns of book deals for bloggers

Chapter 8: Count of Flanders makes up Table of Contents

Chapter 9: Count of Flanders is overwhelmed by media blitzkrieg

Chapter 10: Hot Lard’s email inbox is flooded with scores and megabytes of hottie girls photos.

As you can see, there are some chapters needing additional material.  Using my newfound ability to foresee the future, I predict all will be fully-realized.

I sit and wait…

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