Hot Lard’s Mailbag

Well, the arrival of Christmas jolly and New Year’s puking has forced Hot Lard to open up it’s mailbag.  We’d like to take this moment to answer a few questions visitors have been asking.  I guess this is a Hot Lard FAQ.

  •  No, we do not need any exclusive replica Rolex watches.  Regardless of how perfectly crafted a timepiece they are, or how affordable they are.  We’re just not interested at the time.
  • Who wouldn’t want to experience pen!le growth in 2008?  I mean, we’ve done all the pen!le growing we can handle for calendar year 2007!
  • Generally speaking, ass warts are caused by YOU doing something to your body you should not being doing.
  • 5 minutes … tops
  • We would be thrilled to post your photo.  Just send us an email with your photo attached and type of subject of “Hot Lard is the best”.
  • If you need passage to the United States of America from the Russian Federation, yes … we would be thrilled to meet you at the Detroit International Airport, with a briefcase full of cash and a stiff and veiny hard-on.
  • It’s legal to own; legal to buy it; legal to smoke it; illegal to sell it.  Yeah, freakin’ confusing as hell I know.
  • Of course, Family Guy.
  • If you feel guilty when you stick your penis in the hole, then you shouldn’t do it.  But, if you get a good rush … by all means, be prepared to be dickchoped.
  • No, we are not interested in your scab collection, your jars of puss you’ve collected over the years, or how full you can fill you colostomy bag before your underwear turns brown.

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