Here we are getting close to the World Series of Baseball…. And nobody has noticed.
With Colorado already in and Cleveland with a 3-2 lead in their series; I’ve heard around the office, on sports radio and TV, what an awful series it would be with the Rockies and Indians. My question to that is why? My answer to that is because the MLB sucks.
The MLB playoff ratings this year have been abysmal. And with the chance of two smaller market teams getting into the series, the ratings for that are expected to dip below last years horrible mark. But why is this? Why can’t baseball get good ratings with any of its teams playing, like the NFL does? The answer to this again is because the MLB sucks!
Why isn’t a Colorado and Cleveland series being looked forward to? (Outside of these two cities /states) You have the perennial loser that may finally make good. And the blue collar team that has never been to the big dance before. This shit is written for Hollywood, but nobody wants to see it. Why is that? Because the MLB sucks!
If the NFL would have to same two city/state teams in the Super Bowl, (The Broncos and Browns) tickets would sell for $2000.00 a pop and there would be 100 million people around the world tuning in to watch the affair. But the truth is, no matter what two teams the NFL puts up against one another in the playoffs or Super Bowl, we all want to watch it. For God sakes they had Indianapolis in the Super Bowl and everybody watched. It’s fucking Indianapolis, they don’t event have cable TV there yet. But millions and millions of people watched. That is because the NFL is a well run league and the MLB sucks.
Why does the MLB suck you may ask? Well, shut the fuck up and I’ll tell you.
- Salary Cap: The MLB does not have one. They have five or six teams that have all the money in the world. These teams snatch up all the great players (allegedly) and leave the other 75% of the league to fight over what’s left. How can you have a league that allows one team to have a roster that cost nearly $200 million dollars and another that can only afford $25 million? (See list here) Plus when any of the small market teams produce a good player from their farm system, the moment they get noticed they are snatched up by one of the big dollar teams. Making the small market team start from scratch to bring up another new player to train and mold only for these big teams to scoop them up again after all the hard work is already done. The big money teams don’t have to be smart; all they have to do is buy the well trained, well managed players of other teams.
Now I know what you’re saying. (Insert Mr. Whiny Voice here) “But blstern, if the Rockies and Indians make the series that blows your whole theory of only big money teams getting to the big dance. Ha ha he he snort.” Hmmmm, good point for a whiny ass bitch. To that I say shut the fuck up and no it doesn’t. Here you have the chance of seeing two really good teams go against the grain and make it without the bloated price tag. The little man can win scenario, David has slain Goliath …… And nobody wants to fucking see it for God sakes!!!!! That is the problem! Unless it is the Yankees or Red Sox, or….. Well that’s pretty much it. If it isn’t one of those teams in the series, nobody wants to watch it. (Once again out side of these two cities and states)
As a Twins fan I am happy that I have been able to see my team play in the series twice in my life time (1987 and 1991). But Joe Torre gets fired (And yes he was fired) from the Yankees because he was only able to get them to the playoffs 12 years in a row and win 6 ALCS and 4 World Series. WHAT A FUCKING BUM! Let’s run this sorry ass bastard out on a rail, burn down his house and rape his dog!!! Any other team in sports would kill for a record like that, but the pampered Yankees demand better. How can you have a league that is expecting one team to be in the series every fucking year? And it is big news when they don’t make it? What the fuck is wrong with this picture!??!? “Gall darn it the Yankee didn’t make it to the series again Clem, Guess I’ll see what’s on the Life Time channel”.
Now in the NFL they also have the big teams they follow….. for that year! Or in the case of the Colts and Patriots, the last few years. But they have done it with the exact same amount of money as the worst team in the league. That is what makes the NFL great. Any… I MEAN ANY team can compete for the big prize. If they suck it’s because the team is bad from coaching, or management, or bad chemistry. But not because one team has purchased all the good fucking players in the league!
So what am I saying here? Simply, Major League Baseball sucks. And as long as the league is run in the same manner it is now, it will continue losing fans to NASCAR and the WWE.
Now you are asking, “What can be done to save the sport oh great one”?
Thanks for asking, I’m just in the right state of mind to tell you. Oh…. and shut the fuck up.
- Get a real commissioner. The lap dog commish they have now will only keep this league on its knees. Look at the NFL to see what a real man in charge looks like. The NFL would never allow a KNOWN cheater to steal one of its most sacred of records. Fuck evidence! We know you did it, so you’re out! That is the NFL way…. And it works!
- Salary Cap. The league needs a hard core solid salary cap that if exceeded the league can come in and cut off the balls of the owner. Not this pussy-ass luxury tax cop-out they have now. “Oh go ahead and spend whatever you like. We’ll just take a small share of your earnings and you can get it back in the TV revenue you will steal from the rest of the league”.
- Revenue Sharing. Spread the money around equally. That way all the teams can afford the chance to create a competitive squad. The Yankees made something like $80 to $100 million in TV revenue last year, where the Twins made around $8 million. Hmmmmmmmmmmm, Let’s see, using baseball math…. Carry the 1….. Move the decimal… OOPS, it appears the Twins owe the Yankees $5 million.
- Cut the Season in half. 162 games is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to many. The season is long, boring and most games are not important. Cut the season in half, 82 games are plenty. Actually 82 game would make for a much better and exciting season. “But How would that make the season better whine whine whine.” I’m glad you asked Mr. Whiny Voice. Shut the fuck up and Bring on the bullet points!
Less games means more fans in the stadiums. Nothing is more depressing than tuning into a game on TV that only has half the seats filled. With fewer games to buy tickets for, fans will fill the stadiums for the games they can get ticket for and that leads to my next bullet point…
Atmosphere! Have you ever been to a game with only 9000 fans? It sucks. But go to game with all the seats full of drunken, hotdog eating, profanity screaming fans and you have a PARTY!!! People like to be around lots of other people when it comes to sports. And believe it or not, the players will feed of this as well. You may actually see them play better with 50,000 to 70,000 fans screaming and cheering rather than just 8.
Every game is important. How can you have a sport where a team can go on a 15 game losing streak and it means nothing? With half the games removed, every single one is now important. Just like Football…and isn’t that what we all want to be like anyway.
Anticipation. One of the great things about Football is that you have to wait a week to see your team play again. In Baseball, sometimes you don’t even have to wait 24 hours. With only two to three games a week you may actually get excited for the next game.
Pitching. Teams will only need two maybe three good pitchers. This helps everyone because the league can not supply 5 to 6 good pitchers for all the teams now. If you only need three good pitches there is a much better chance of fielding a pretty good squad no matter who you are.
Tear down Wrigley Field. It’s old, rundown, and smells like stale beer. Cheap stale beer. Nuff said.
There you go my cure all for pro-baseball.
“But blstern, what about the record books? If you only have half the number of games, nobody will be able to break the old records. Wheeze waaaaaaaa”.
Thank you for bringing that point up Mr. Whiny Voice. My reply to that is, “Shut the fuck up!”. You start the record book over on day one of the new (Better) style of baseball season. So the first player that gets a hit will hold whatever fucking record there is for that. Plus you can start over on so many other worthy records like…
Farthest spit chew
Most times adjusting ball sack
Most roid needles found in locker
Team with most non-English speaking players
The list goes on and on…
After a few years it will work itself out and nobody will remember the old crusty records at all. Plus players don’t play the game for the records. They play it for the love of the money.
So there are my views on the MLB and how to fix it. I welcome your comments. But remember, if you disagree with me. I’m correct and you are a fuck tard, which means you’re wrong so shut the fuck up.
Well, so much for my theory on a Colorado/Cleveland World Series.
***Note to Self***
Another reason Major League Baseball sucks…. They have the Cleveland Indians.