blstern’s email exchange with Software Innovations Inc.

Now and then a SPAM email comes along that is so stupid, I have to respond to let the author know of their own retarded nature. When a typed message starts out by saying that the writer can not type this typed message because they are so excited and out of breath. I must respond in kind. Below is just the latest “Life Changing” scam opportunity that is being offered to me via my SPAM mail filter.

Matt S.” <> wrote:Subject: They will hate me because of this

Hi, I wanted to let you know that so many people are going to hate me because of this, but I just don’t care…..

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you’re not going to believe this…First off, thank you so much for taking a minute to read this, my name is Matt, and I’m a “Domain” millionaire that is going to do something absolutely crazy tonight and tomorrow morning that is going to cause A LOT of people to get mad at me, and actually, they are going to HATE me! But not you, you’ll actually be happy with me because of this….

If you’re interested in knowing what it is then read below, but you’ll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take advantage of this:

There is a group of people who have become “domain” millionaires like myself by keeping people in the dark about buying and selling domain names, and the longer you’re in the dark, the more money they’ll make.

But today and tomorrow I am giving away a video series that pulls back the curtain and details the inner workings of this little known business.

Press here to Download the -Free- step by step videos now

Under 500 copies of this video series will be given away, and they will go fast.

Press here before you become the 501st person to want this video series

Here’s is what is included in the video series that will give you the tools to become an internet millionaire:

-How a domain you own right now might be worth thousands and how to cash in.

-Why this may be the only business in the world that costs less than a lemonade stand to start.

-How to build a truly passive income stream big enough to retire on and solid enough that nobody can take it away from you

-Why the current “Domain” millionaires are scared as hell that you’ll learn what they’re doing. (it involves luxury cars and private jets)!

And much, much more.

Press here to Download the -Free- step by step videos now


To cease contacts

2807 Allen St.
PMB 674
Dallas, TX 75204

— You will not get anymore of our emails if you go here and enter your email address (
or write to:

Software Innovations Inc.
160 W. Foothill Pkwy, Suite 105-20
Corona, CA 92882

Well Golly, I’m sure this is the real thing. How could anyone be as excited as this guy and it not be true. I must respond and let him know how excited he has made me.

Subject: They hate you and so do I

Dear Matt S.

Thank you for contacting me…

Hold on and let me catch my breath before I type any more….





Let me put my head between my legs so I may catch my breath before typing any further…

Let me go ride my bike and sing a song so I may catch my breath to type to you more about this great offer…

Let me smell my own farts and pull out my butt hairs before typing another letter about this life changing offer you are about to give me…

Let me go to a movie about homosexual cowboy aliens from Detroit and lance my grandmother inner thigh boil before I move another digit on my keyboard in response to the epic money making solution to all my worldly problems…

Let me cross the river Styx and battle the three headed hell hound with My Little Pony dolls to show you the appreciation I have for you bringing this offer of all offers to end any other offers that state it is the offer that no other offer can offer.

Wow buddy you are as crazy as a rabid cat in and Raid factory to just GIVE away this secret of all secrets. Please tell me at once, what I have to do, Who I have to do, What body I must hide, What cabinet paper I must lay, What bank I must rob, What cow I must tip, What puppy I must molest, What planet I must destroy… To get this information.

Pretty please with sugar and happy sprinkles tell me….

-How a domain you own right now might be worth thousands and how to cash in.

Here is a small list of domain names I have. Please let me know how many thousands of dollars they are worth.
Well, what do you think? What size of a check will you write me for those beauties?

I’m sorry to hear that I will be scaring the cars and jets of other duhmain millionaires. Maybe you should warn them of my coming to give them a chance to tie down their planes and autos so they won’t run away.

Ok, Matt S. You have my attention and we should have both caught our breath by now. So let’s get to teaching me this stuff and shit that you talked about in your first email.

Love and blood soaked kisses



I can’t read. Will that be a problem?

Just sent this out. Will let you know if I get a response from Matt S.

Update 10/17/2007

No response from Matt S., so I decided to send another e-mail to let him know I was REALLY interested.

Matt S.

What’s up buddy. Why have I not heard back from you yet? I’m ready to make all the moneys!!!!

Are you still so out of breath that you can not reply to your emails?

Have the other duh-main millionaires found out that you are giving away their secrets to everlasting wealth and terminated your email account with extreme predigest?

What must I do to get this information so I too can rule the internet with an iron fist?!?!?

I will avenge you my spiritual MENSA, I will not rest until every duh-main villain that brought you down has been vanquished and humiliated.

Could I get $500 dollars so I may be able to get my new Russian Bride into the country? I only ask because you are now my best friend.

Thank you for taking me under your wing and allowing me the chance to soar with the eagle and swim with the carp.

I look forward to the day that I may be able to shake your hand and call you friend. And play board games with you while covered in Jello and creamed corn.

Your best friend (FOREVER)



I am going to go through your garbage at night so I may start building your alter in my bathroom. So throw away really good stuff, Mkay.

I’m including a picture of my self. That way you will know who I am when you are called to pick out the “Peeper” in a line up.

Boy Howdy, I really hope he responds. I’d really like to have a date for prom.

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