Nigerian Email Scams, Don’t be a dumb ass! (A Hot Lard PSA)

We here at Hot Lard like to have fun. But we also have a serious side. And that is what I would like to show you now. We have posted several e-mails of us having fun with people trying to scam us out of our hard earn dollars. We can do this because we are smart, we know there really is not 10 million dollars waiting in a bank vault somewhere to be just picked up and taken away. We hope that these posts have given a good many of you a nice laugh and put a smile on your face.

However the whole reason for these e-mails scams is because there is a large group of you retarded fuckers out that that believes money falls from the sky and by just reading the shit that is in your inbox can make you rich. It is because of you dumb asses that exhibit the intelligence of a fruit fly that all of us other smart people get so many of these God damn e-mails. We here at Hot Lard would like to help you numb fucks to save the money you earn with your job flipping burgers. So we have come up with the “Don’t be a dumb ass” email course. It is our hope that after taking this course, you really stupid bastards will understand that anyone in Africa that is offering you millions of dollars is not telling the truth. We understand that those of you with an IQ of a can of cream corn may have trouble believing this, but it is true.

Once again this is meant for the truly retarded readers that we have. You smart folk may skip this and go look at some of the wonderful naked pictures we offer for your viewing pleasure.

Lesson 1: You’re a Dumb Ass

Yo dumb ass, you are not a millionaire for a reason. You’re a slacker that can not make anything over minimum wage. If you have not made your millions by now, chances are pretty damn good you will never make it. You work fast food for a reason and that reason is because you are a stupid bastard that thinks they can make millions of dollars on the internet. You’re to fucking dumb to create something like Google or E-bay (Actual money making thingies from the internet), hell your to stupid to remove your pants before you crap. The country of Nigeria will not make you rich! They are even poorer than you are Skippy! Defiantly to damn poor to give you 10 millions dollars. Don’t fucking reply to these e-mails, you’re not smart enough. Take my word for it, I know because you’re reading this right now, rather than looking at naked pictures with all the smart people.

Lesson 2: Money is not free.

Believe it or not, you actually have to work for your money. Especially millions of fucking dollars. You will never have someone walk up to you and offer you millions of dollars for nothing. Chances are you will have to do some sort of gang bang video with live stock to get this cash. I bet that when all is said and done, your work will be so poor they won’t pay you.

Lesson 3: Email lies!

You can not believe Anything you read in your inbox. Anything that is given away for free…. IS NOT REAL!!! No one has 10 million dollars that is just lying around and needs to be placed somewhere else. All money of that large a sum is well accounted for and will not be given to you!!! Second, that e-mail you got from your girlfriend saying she was only friends with that guy… Big fat fucking lie, she fucked him in every position imaginable until he went cross-eyed. Then let him paint her face while you were visiting her sick mom.

Lesson 4: ??????

Lesson 4 is by far the most important lesson of all. I have a proposition for you on getting this information and at the same time helping me out.

As of this time I am setting on some fiancés that was left to me by my dear departed uncle and I would like some help moving this cash to another bank. But do not want to let the IRS know about it. If I could get you to help me I’m sure I could give you the information for lesson 4, plus I will offer you 45% of the cash. So what do yah say pal?

I need your…

Full Name :


Phone Number:

Bank Account numbers:

Favorite color:

Blood type:

Urine sample:

Number of Children

Favorite barn yard animal:

Number of toes you could live without

Also need a check for $650.00 made out for transfer fees.

Thank you very much. I and my very sick daughter are waiting to hear from you.

2 thoughts on “Nigerian Email Scams, Don’t be a dumb ass! (A Hot Lard PSA)

  1. Pingback: A Hot Lard PSA - Helping people to identify email scams. « Hot Lard

  2. Pingback: Hot Lard has won the lottery « Hot Lard

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