blstern Impostor e-mail Volume #4 (Buying a Car)

It appears that the other blstern is trying to buy a car; A Porsche to be exact.


I only drive a piece of crap Ford. What a “show-off-ie” little fucker.
Well any way, the dealer sent me the e-mail below along with a list of options for the car. I looked them over and would say that he should go with the heated seats, 6 disc CD changer and optional blowjob crack whore. Man these cars offer everything!

Check out this photo of the options and then read the e-mail.


hi nice meeting you last night if you have any question on this car please feelfree to call or e-mail.Enclosed is the the order guide for the cayman s or cayman.

thank you

john del tattoo

Hey john del tattoo, nice e-mail. Didn’t realize I was buy my$60K car from A FUCKING THIRD GRADER!!! Learn to write an e-mail you retard!!

Any who, this other blstern buying a really nice car pissed me off, so I decided to take it out on john del tattoo. I demanded my money back from an earlier purchase.

Dear Putrid and Son Motors

I’m writing you about the 1972 AMC Gremlin I have purchased from you.

I have been driving or riding in cars all my life (except for those three years I was in that cult (Ages 6 to 8)) and I must say that your knowledge of fine AMC products is severely lacking.
The 1972 Gremlin Family Gleammaster, only came in two colors, Avocado Green or Burnt Umber Orange with November Yellow trim. The vehicle you sold me is definitely Oriole Orange with Spring Yellow trim which any second grader can tell you is the 1971 Gremlin Sportmaster 660. Although this is a fine automobile in its own right, it is not the 1972 Gremlin Family Gleammaster I ordered. I think I need to bring this car back to you and get it replaced with the 1972 Gremlin Family Gleammaster I originally ordered.

Now, I know it has been 35 years since I have taken ownership of this vehicle, but to be fair my son (Gippy) has only been old enough to wash it for the last three years. And I only started inspecting his work the last 6 months due to the fact that he was washing the wrong car. The real bad thing was it wasn’t always the same wrong car in the assisted living complex. One week it would be an Explorer the week after that it was a Nova… You get the idea! I love the kid but sometimes he is dumber than a tree stump in July. So I had to start inspecting his work to make sure it was the correct car and that is when I noticed the error in colors.

Now if you can not replace what I have with the 1972 Gremlin Family Gleammaster, I must then ask for my deposit back. I know that after 35 years the three chickens, two ducks and five hay bails are probably long gone. But I’m sure that the many offspring of them are still alive and kicking. All I ask is that I get the pick of the litter.

While we are on the subject, I must alert you to the impending danger of the cat gangs that are roaming our neighborhoods. There are gangs of cats, (Sometimes 20 to 30 strong) that roam the streets looking for victims to take their credit cards to buy kitty toys and go to cat nip raves. Let’s not even get into the evil they are portraying to our children on the internet thingy. They must be stopped! I and some other Gremlin Family Gleammaster car club members go out on crusades every night in our 1972 Gremlin Family Gleammasters’ to round up these trouble makers and keep our streets safe. But since it has been discovered that I do not truly own a 1972 Gremlin Family Gleammaster, I have been temporarily excommunicated from the Gremlin Crusaders. This has broken my heart and is keeping one Gremlin Crusader off the streets.

It is your American duty to help me resolve this issue.

Love and Kisses


My friends can call me Shuckey.

I’m afraid I may have confused poor john del tattoo.

Yo blstern,

do you have any clue what you are talkign about?

john del tattoo

After calming down a bit, I realized it was wrong of me to be angry about the other blstern’s good fortune and take it out on john del tattoo. I had better make it up to him.

john del tattoo



I wounder if he’ll throw in mud flaps???

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