You ever feel like getting Crunk?
Well this is Dr. Tadjur here telling you to check yourself before you wreck yourself.
The guy in the above photo ended up getting drunk, and woke up to a knife carving apart his face as part of an autopsy. You can read more about the incident here, although they claim it was an accident, I maintain it was an accident caused by being to drunk.
Now we can delve into why the medical examiner was cutting apart his face, or didn’t check for a pulse, or even why he got high, slept with his aunt, and gave his sister the eiffel tower with a goat.
Instead I want to examine the basic rules of getting drunk, first off lets cover driving, following the simple rules below can help you live a much longer life:
- Don’t Do it
- If you do it drive in the ditch (it’s like railroad tracks for cars)
- If you don’t use the ditch, please remain unbuckled and head for the nearest cliff
- Did I mention don’t do it?
Next thing we need to be aware of is are there hot chick around? If there are you must follow these simple rules:
- Never cock block
- He who claims her first nails her first
- Your friends sister, mom, girlfriend, and exes are off limits
- Always remain sober enough to fight, but drunk enough to not feel it
- Grouping other guys is strictly prohibited, by penalty of death
Women, when drinking:
- Always get to drunk to care, but not to much we still want you to ride and not puke
- If there are hot girls around it’s ok to flirt/kiss/grope/lick and etc
- If you are there with your man it is not ok to do the above with any other man
Finally, If you are going to drink, always be prepared to take off your shoes before passing out.
Saving the world one lesbian at a time