blstern impostor e-mail, Volume #2 “The Joke”

Here is another e-mail that was meant for the impostor blstern but somehow ended up coming to me.

This one was a bunch of recycled cockpit jokes that you see at least once a year. You know the ones I’m talking about, the stupid ass jokes that are sent by that one friend who is also continually sending you those annoying, “Pass this on to 5 people in 10 seconds or your dick will fall off” emails.

In case you are new to the planet here is an example of one.

Pilot: Ummmm, JFK this is TWA 243 from Atlanta, please advise us on local weather.

Tower: Why do you have a hot date?


Ha Ha Ha Ha Hee Hee Hee Ho Ho Ho! Boy howdy those get my belly rolling every time.

So anyway, the other blstern was supposed to get this email from “A” but I ended up with it.

Here are some conversations airline passengers normally will never hear.
The following are accounts of exchanges between airline pilots and
control towers around the world.


Pilot: “Albuquerque Center, this is United 372. I have an engine that
just went out and I need to land. No panic, but I need a runway that’s
close to my present location.”

Tower: “United 372, this is Albuquerque Center. You are cleared to
land at [Name of town I have never heard of] Airport immediately.”

Pilot: (Who had obviously never heard of town either) “Hey, I’m not
talking some crop duster airport here, Albuquerque Center.”

Tower: “United 372, that runway is 6,700 feet long. Is THAT going
to be enough for you, or do you want me to send someone up to help you

============== ==============================================

Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!”

Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!”


“TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.”

“Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up

“Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”


A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, “What was your
last known position?”

Student: “When I was number one for takeoff.”


There were more jokes in the e-mail. (A lot more jokes). But I’m sure you get the idea by now how this email read. So I decided to send “A” a little joke of my own.

That reminds me of a funny story about two satanist and a talking cow…

They hitchhiked across country to see a “Dead” concert in Idaho…

Boy howdy, those crazy satanist…

I believe the cow was shot by a crazed farmer who was angry at fluoridation in the water.

That one makes me laugh every time.

Feel free to pass it on to everyone you know

Love an kisses

The artist formerly known as blstern


Don’t use the color yellow in February, you can thank me later

I believe that “A” may be a little confused by my humor.

My Dear Blstern,
Your last certainly had me confused for a while until I realised it must be in some sort of code. Go on – give me a clue – a Caesar shift, a Vigenere Square, perhaps a polyalphabetic substitution?
On the other hand it could be the medication – have you changed it lately? I think you need to check it.
Yours concernedly,

Better clear things up a little for him.


Don’t look behind you

Say Cheese!


“A” did not respond after that. But I have received some other misdirected e-mails from him that I responded to. Will post those when I fell like it; going to take a nap now.

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