blstern/ Millionaire… again.

Here is another one of those get rich by helping me move this money out of the country blah, blah, blah, emails.

Dear Sir/Madam,
>
> I Am Mr Dalibor Harcog, I Am The Legal Representative To Mr. William
> McKay, A National Of United State of America, Who Was A Contractor And
> An Oil Merchant In UK. Hereinafter Shall Be Referred To As My Client.
>
> On The 21st Of April 2005 My Client, His Wife And Their Only Daughter
> Were Involved In A Fire Outbreak In Their Residence. All Of The Family
> Members Unfortunately Lost There Lives. Since Then I Have Made Several
> Enquiries To Locate Any Of My Clients Extended Relatives, This Has Also
> Proved Abortive. After These Several Unsuccessful Attempts, I Decided
> To Track His Last Name Over The Internet, To Locate Any Member Of His
> Family Hence I Contacted You.
>
> I Have Contacted You To Assist In Returning The Fund Valued At
> $16,800,000.00 UNITED STATES DOLLARS Left Behind By My Client In A
> Private Security Company For Security Reasons, We Have Concealed The
> Original Content Of The Trunks To The Security Company Before It Raises
> Eyebrows Which Was The Reason Why It Was Registered As Family
> Valuables.
>
> The Said Security Company Has Issued Me A Notice To Provide Any
> Relatives Or Families Of The Deceased To Come In Person For
> Identification And Clearance Or They Should Not Be Held Responsible If
> Any Loss Or Misplacement. For The Fact That I Have Been Unsuccessful In
> Locating The Relatives For Years, I Seek Your Consent To Present You As The
> Family Member To The Deceased so we can claim the money and share in the ratio
> of 60/40.If You Are Willing To Help, I Will Provide You With The Vital
> Documents Which Will Enhance The Release To Your Order.
>
> Therefore, If You Are Willing To Participate In This Deal, Please
> Endeavor To Reach Me Immediately To Enable Me Inform You The Modalities
> On How To Carry Out This Project. I Have All Necessary Information And
> Legal Documents Needed To Back You Up For Claim. All I Require From You
> Is Your Honest Cooperation To Enable Us See This Transaction Through. I
> Guarantee That This Will Be Executed Under Legitimate Arrangement That
> Will Protect You From Any Breach Of The Law.
>
> Please Get In Touch With Me Through My Email As Soon As Possible To
> Enable Me Provide You With The Official’s Direct Contact Of The
> Security Company To Enable You Notify Them Your Arrangements To Fly
> Into The Country For Identification And Clearance.
>
> Best regards,
>
> Dalibor Harcog ESQ.
> (Principal Attorney)

 

Fuck it! I just don’t have the time to mess around with this guy. I have a lot of masturbating to do damn it! I’ll just go for the kill shot now.

 

Dear Dilbert,

I would be very interested in the offer you are offering me as an offer of cash to be offered for my services. I must admit that I’m somewhat skeptical about the whole thing. When does 16 million dollars come flying out of the sky at you and hit you in the head like this. A toilet seat flew out of a plane and hit my aunt May in the head, but she didn’t enjoy that as much as I’m enjoying this right now. And I’m sure that this will not make me drool 24 hours a day and try to grab the private parts of the farm horse like aunt May does. If you ask me I think she may have done that even before the toilet hit her on the head.

 

Now on to business, this must be completely legal before I go any further, I may not be much of a world traveler but I do know that other parts of the world are not run like the good ole’ USA.

 

I must ask you some questions that you need to answer honestly before I will agree to do this.

 

  1. Have you been to college?
  2. Do you have a police record?
  3. Have you now or any time in the past eaten human flesh?
  4. How many days a week do you practice Voodoo?
  5. Do you wear store bought clothes or the pelts of the animals you kill with your spear?
  6. What sport do you like better? Football, (American not that pansy ass foreign shit) Baseball, Hockey, Swimming, or kick the severed head.
  7. What would be the number of human skulls you have lying around your home?
  8. Do you live in a house, apartment, condo, cave, dumpster?
  9. Is your wife over 8 years of age yet?
  10. What political party are you affiliated with? Republican, Democrat, Pink-o Commie Faggot, Bone in the Nose.
  11. Would you say the following statement is mostly true about yourself?

“I often spend the night in prison for a warm place to sleep, the food and the opportunity to have foreign object shoved in my orifices.”

 

  1. Please fill in the blank. I like big hard_________!

 

After viewing your honest answers to these questions I will then let you know my decision on going through with this or not.

 

I look forward to doing business with you savages.

 

Respectfully

 

That artist formally known as Tim

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