Here is the latest scammer e-mail I am playing with. This one is somewhat new, instead of just giving me millions of dollars, they now want to invest in my country. I don’t really own a country so I’ll let them invest in my business. Which means I actually have to do some work for this cash.. Man I miss the good old days when Nigeria just gave it away.
Subject: CAN I INVEST IN YOU COUNTRY
I am very sure that this mail will bring lots of surprises and curiosity to you since there was no previous correspondence between us before now.
I am a widow of one of the top rulers in Chechnya, My husband died along side with the Chenchna president who was killed in a bomb attack early this year in a parade ground. My husband told me before his death that he has a credit of $10.5M USD which he deposited overseas and handed to me all the documents which my lawyer has confirmed with the authority concerned.Right now I am looking for an Investor who will help me to invest the total sum in the west and after which I will relocate to your country.
The security situation in Chechnya does not warrant me to do much from here,therefore I have designated my family lawyers who will co-ordinate every aspect of the fund transfer and the investment with your assistance. I have decided to offer 25% of the funds to you for compensation if you help me to pull the funds and invest it in your country which has a stable economy.Upon receipt of your acceptance letter,I will introduce you to my family lawyer for details on how the transfer can be done in the shortest possible time.
NOTE: The main assistant is that you are going to assist me to invest the money in your country and supervise the total investment after the money has been transfered into your personal account .
Please direct your reply to firstname.lastname@example.org for quick response.
Here’s my E-mail to Suzzan, telling her I’d be happy to help her out.
I’d be happy to help you out.
I do know of a few companies you can invest this money in.
What do you need from me?
And of course she is very happy that I replied and God bless me and Blah Blah Blah….
My heart gladens with joy hearing from you with your promise to help me invest this money, firstly i must appreciate your courage and God’s touch on you to assist me invest this money despite your own little benefit, may God Almghty bless you abundantly.
Please you know that on this issue since i cannot held it on my own alone, so the documentations and all necessary relevant papers even from the bank has been handed over the attorney who will direct you on how to go about this transaction without any fear, doubt nor risk in it.
I will appreciate if you can contact our family lawyer, so that he will hasten up the processing of the Change of Ownership and Sworned Affidavit and position you as the new beneficiary on my behalf, for the purpose of the investment, so that all relevant papers will now bear your name.
As i have forwarded your details to the Attorney, but contact him immediately, so that he will start the processing of the legal papers without any much waste of time and always get back to me and let me know where i can offer useful advises to you.
So contact the attorney with the following contact information:-
Email address: email@example.com
His Name : Barrister ALBERT LANG
Telephone No: 0086 13266995492
He stays and lives in Hongkong, that is where he practices.
Thank you and may God bless you in returns.
What’s this!?!?!? She showed me her passport and I have to respond to another e-mail address Hmmmmmmmmm, maybe this is the real deal.
What the hells up homie?
Suzzan has sent me to you to help her invest in my company.
What do we need to do?
Harry S. Crotum
Wow, this subject line sound pretty stern maybe I should take this seriously.
Subject: Call me Urgent
From: Barrister ALBERT LANG
Kowloon Central, CHINA
Tel: 0086 86 13266995492
In response to your mail as directed by Mrs Suzzan Smith in pursuance to the payment of $10.5million deposited with the Asia Bank of China, Guangzhou, China, it is very imperative that necessary legal documents are obtained, inorder to change the original ownership to bear your name as the new beneficiary to the said fund.
In lieu of this, i will request that you quickly submit to me the following today to enable me file application in the court and get the approved AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM/SUPPORT which qualifies and authorises the bank for the immediate release of the fund to your said bank account as deemed necessary.
a. Your full name and address
b. Telephone number
Expecting to hear from you today, as the processing documentation are being processed which will be submitted as soon as we hear from you today.
Barrister DAVID DUCAN
Barrister at Law
Notary Public & Solicitor
Tel: 86 13266995492 – Please give me a call immediately
You know, maybe I have stumbled on the one true e-mail money give away. I should really take this seriously and come up with some businesses for them to invest in.
I’m afraid that calling you can not happen. I am deaf and can not use a phone. Or at least one that you can understand. So I normally do all of my communications through e-mail or snail male. Will this be a problem?
As far as my personal information.
My name is Harry S. Crotum of the Utah Crotums. Our heritage goes back to the Mayflower… That’s the big boat that brought us to America.
My Address is 1675 BrokeBack Mounatin Lane, Humplick, Utah.
I have no telephone number.
My favorite color is paisley
I like to have mayonnaise licked off of my balls by my poodle, “Bloodfang”
If I had one wish, I guess I’d like to see all foreigners punished for not being American.
Do you need to know about my business and what Suzzan will be investing her money in?
I will be more than happy to explain them to you in full detail. 10.5 million dollars is a lot of money to just give to just any crackpot.
I assure you that my businesses are all legit and legal.
First is my Pre-School prostitution ring. I assure you that all of my girls are clean and fully trained. The money would be used for things like birth control, dry cleaning, mouth wash and legal fees.
I am also working on a way to legally kill all scammers. You know, those scumbags that try to steal the hard earned money from honest (But Stupid) folk here in the states. I believe most of them are in Nigeria, so I’m pretty sure murder is legal there or close to it. What I have invented is a attachment that can be sent through e-mail. When it is opened, the software will search out the power supply on the PC and over range the AC voltage. Causing the computer to short circuit and electrocute the user. I tried it here on my dog “BloodFang” and it ended up blowing his balls off. But I think I can get it to kill a human. What do you think? I’m sure that has got to be worth something to you.
Oh by the way I have an attachment I want you to open.
Finally, I have discovered a way to turn human farts into energy. I can’t get into much detail now because the government is monitoring my e-mail. But we could make millions off of this! I figure that there has to be at least 50 to 100 people that fart a day. And if we can harness that we could power a city… Of course the power source does smell quit bad and you would not be able to live in that city.. But we may be able to use if for Lepers or Nigerians, I bet they wouldn’t even notice the smell.
Well there you go. Let’s get to getting me that money and see what we can do with it.
Looking forward to your response.
Harry S. Crotum
This is the attachment I sent.
I just sent this out 8/24/2007. I’m waiting for my reply and to see the money start rolling in. When I get it, I’m getting me a big screen TV and a Wii.