TotD: Afterglow

You know that feeling you have after you take a huge dump, or let out a SBV (silent but violent) next your your (in)significant other? That’s not just colon relief, it’s something us doctors like to call in technical terms the “Afterglow.”

The Afterglow originated in man around the time of the cavemen. After dragging women back to and having their way with them cavemen would enjoy sitting at the mouth of their cave watching cojneball (like football, but you throw a rock instead of a pigskin), while the women would clean the cave, make dinner, and bring their glorious leader bat guano beer. This was the early form of the afterglow.

As humans became more civilized (began throwing different objects at each other) the afterglow became more refined. Now it has become something that every man seeks if they haven’t been completely pussified. The afterglow in most cases is needed for a man to continue his daily dominance of what are supposed to be the lesser subservient species called women. Absence of afteglow can cause horrible conditions such as sandy-vaginitis (see below) which we will cover in a future post.

Today there is a surprising lack of afterglow, and males are becoming more and more dominated. To turn back this tide more men need to start experiencing the afterglow so we can get back to what really matters in life, drinking beer, fighting, and womanizing. It is your responsibility to get more afterglow, human existence as we know it depends on YOU!

To achieve the afterglow and avoid looking like the fool in the above picture I have some sound medically recommended ideas. First block the lifetime/we/oxygen channels on your TV, otherwise you may end up damaging that nice new flat screen you just bought. Another great idea is to remove the brakes from a little kids bicycle, nothing screams hilarious like a little kid all cut up and crying. And while we are on it when driving open the door to knock those dirty hippies off their bikes. One final suggestion is to drop a big green snot wad into your local restaurants community mint tray.

Until next time enjoy your afterglow,

Dr. Tadju

ADHD Certified

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