Super Tard Bedtime Story

Hey kids, its time to lay down and drift off to dreamland with a Super Tard bedtime story.

Once upon a time…

In the little town of Dukket, there lived a frog called “Hoppy”. Hoppy was well-loved by all the townfolk and of course, all the town children. Hoppy would entertain the children every morning on their bus ride to school by doing tricks on the railroad tracks. When the school bus would stop at the tracks to look for trains, Hoppy would pop out of his hole and do flips and tricks that would make all the children laugh. This in turn helped them to have a good day at school and get good grades. So the town’s parents truly loved him for this.

As the years passed, more people heard about Hoppy and the way he helped the children of Dukket to get better grades and go on to become very important people in the world of business. More and more people would move to this small town. After twenty years, the small town of Dukket turned into the thriving metropolis of Dukket. There were new businesses and shopping malls, and new government buildings; not to mention many new schools. All of which were built in an area so the busses would have to pass over the rail road tracks where Hoppy lived.

The children in the city prospered because of Hoppy and the towns’ people rewarded him for it. There where streets and schools and civic centers named after him. Hoppy was a true miracle of love and happiness and this growing city was proof of this. As time went on, Hoppy got married and had children of his own. He taught them all the secrets of his entertainment. This in turn allowed them to entertain more children at once, which allowed even more schools to be built and more busses to pass over the Hoppy Family railroad tracks. What a joy it was to see this family of talented frogs entertain children on their way to school. It made the city proud.

Then one morning something happened for the first time in 30 years. Hoppy did not come out to entertain the children. His family did not show either. The towns’ people wondered? Did he run away? Did he quit?

No it wasn’t that at all. The saddest of the sad had happened … Hoppy-the-frog had passed away.

The town grieved and businesses closed down, people cried out,

What will happen to our children?!

But the very next day, something very wonderful happened. Hoppy’s family came out and entertained the children. And the Kids laugh and clapped and wiped away their tears for Hoppy. Because they now knew that the memory and talent of Hoppy lived on in his family. The children of Dukket were saved and their education would go on because of this ever growing family of frogs……….

But as time went on the towns’ people and the children noticed something………These frogs Sucked!!!! They were no where even close to being as talented as the original Hoppy. At first they figured it was because they were new, so they gave them some leeway. But as time went on, the towns’ folk and children realized that the frog family of the beloved Hoppy where just a bunch of retards and too damn stupid to do the tricks Hoppy could do. As time passed, the city children grew to hate the family of annoying frogs. The ride to school became a nightmare; the children cried to their parents,

Please, for the love of God don’t make me watch those awful frogs again!!!

Soon after that, the children started to throw rocks at the frogs, School fights started to brake out quite often. The schools GPA fell threw the floor. School dropout levels were at an all time high. Muggings, rapes and murder ran rampant throughout the metropolis of Dukket.

Drugs were the only way the children could cope with the frogs. The children were too strung-out to learn anything in school and would have to resort to prostitution or snuff films to make money, in attempts to buy more drugs.

One morning as a bus full of strung-out kids headed to school (being driven by a former student who was now a junkie and could only get this lousy bus driving gig to make ends meet), the bus driver seeing the frogs coming out of their hole to perform their act of vomit, realized the crystal meth he was on was wearing off and would not numb him from the effect of the frogs act. He hit the gas and roared the bus pass the frogs without looking ……………………………………….. and straight into the 600-ton train screaming down the tracks. The train hit the bus ripping it in half and killing everybody onboard.

As the towns people arrived at the scene to witness the carnage, they realized what had happened. They came to the conclusion that this accident was the town’s fault. They relied so much on Hoppy the frog to help their children do well, they stopped helping the children themselves. They couldn’t blame the frogs for not being as good as Hoppy. There was only one Hoppy and he was gone and the town needed to help itself to get over its troubles and to educate the children. And starting the next day they would appreciate the frogs for their act and not wish that it was Hoppy’s. And so it happened… The next day the town got together and watched the frogs do their act. They judged the frogs on their own talent and not on Hoppy’s.

But the frogs really “REALLY” did suck. There was no getting around it. You couldn’t be this bad if you tried. They stunk so bad, pig shit would have been offended. So eventually the city of Dukket turned into the Crack House capital of the world. One night in a fit of drug endues rage, a group of teenagers went out to the railroad tracks and beat the frog family to death with baseball bats. They skewered the bloody bodies and put them on display at city hall…………….Which was now a whore house………Soon the city turned on itself and was burned to the ground……There were no survivors.

The End.

Nighty-night children …

2 thoughts on “Super Tard Bedtime Story

  1. Pingback: blstern’s email exchange with Software Innovations Inc. « Hot Lard

  2. Pingback: Keeping up with Super Tard « Hot Lard

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