blstern’s Email Job Offer

Here is a job offer that I got through e-mail, I didn’t know it was so easy to get a job. The next time someone complains to me about not having a job, I’ll be like, “Hey! Check your e-mail yah bum”!

Subject: Proposition

If you are interested in being a RECEIVING OFFICER AND HELP IN COLLECTING FUNDS for Ruilan Group Holdings,please do get back to us for more informations.

Jeffery Xu

My reply to this life changing career offer…

What do I need to do?

Harry S. Crotum

Ok, here is the big long explanation of what is required of me…

Dear Norble Representative ,

Thanks for your mail. First I must thank you for picking up the consideration to be our payment officer via our customers who are ready to pay some of their outstanding bills.Our organisation has started years ago although there are quite some number of such companies here in Hong Kong but ours is made with a difference.

We export these products into Europe/North America. We seek your assistance in establishing a medium of getting to our customers in America/North America as well as making payments through you to us. Some of our customers are ready to start offsetting unsettled bills.

The way it works is this, I inform the company that we have a payment officer, they call you to ascertain and confirm a few facts and then they eventually make out payment. You receive the payment, you remove your share and based on instructions recieved from us,remit our own share. If we are able to build and sustain this business relationship(based on trust of course), then the frequency of the money will definately increase. We are to pay you a monthly salary of $4,000usd which is $48,000usd annually as or representative there in North America.

Upon the receipt of an acceptance letter from you, stating that you can help us keep a good and longlasting customer relationship with our esteemed customers a reference number will be sent to you.

Thanks and hope this is the beginning of a mutually beneficial business relationship.

Respectfully Submitted,
Mr.Jeffery Xu
Ruilan Group Holdings (Hong Kong) Limited.
Binwang Road 388 Times Building International Business Port,
YiWu, Zhejiang, China.
Telephone: 86-579-5136222
Fax: 86-579-5136333

Your experience, connections, interest, commitment,sincerity and credibility will go a long way in keeping and acquring new customers
If you are interested ,do send us
1,your full names,
2,contact house address and
3,phone number,to enable my customers reach you for payments.

Oops sorry, I have been away… Actually I forgot to respond to the email that was sent and found it two weeks later.

Dear Jeffery,

I have been away for some time and did not realize you had responded to me. Is this offer still open?

Thank you,

Harry S. Crotum

Whew, they still want me to work for them.

Subject: Thank You

If you are interested ,do send us
1,your full names,
2,contact house address and
3,phone number,to enable my customers reach you for payments.

What?!?!? No signature, no with kindest regards? Nothing? Oh well it’s a job and he’s my boss so I guess he doesn’t have to be nice to me. I so hate hostile work environments.

My full name is Harry S. Crotum
My home address is 1371 Wide Bottom Lake Dr, Scurvyhills Utah.
As far as a phone, I’m afraid I do not have one. You see I’m deaf and can not use a phone. I pretty much do all my communicating through e-mail. Will that be a problem?

Harry S. Crotum

And now the money just starts rolling in. I received the below e-mail twice on the same day. All I have to do is contact these people and they will just hand money over to me. Because that is how business is done in the real world. It is run off of honesty. So you can just give a total stranger a payment check … sent to his home … a person that was just hired the day before … over the Internet … didn’t even have to give my employer my SSN … or past jobs … or police record. Makes sense to me.

Subject: Contact Customer For Payments?

Dear Harry S. Crotum,

I thank you for your mail and quick response,i would want you to know that your details have been send out to my customers for them to reach you for payment,please as soon as any does do let me know.

I would want you to contact one of my customer who wants to make out payment to you,below here are his details.


I would want you to contact him as soon as possible and let me know as soon as you reach him.

Mr Jeffery Xu
Ruilan Group Holdings.

So I responded to this email twice on the same day. I decided to also copy Mr. XU to show him what a good job I am doing for him.

Response #1

Subject: You have something of mine
Dear John Peters,

You have some money that is supposed to go to me. Cough it up or I’ll call Jeff XU and he’ll get all Chinese mid-evil on your ass.

With deep respect,

Harry S. Crotum

Response #2

Subject: Can’t you read bitch


This is your second warning. Don’t make me get the XU-inator on your ass. He will whup you up good.

Kindest regards,
Harry S. Crotum

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s