I received a questionnaire for my 25th class reunion … asking things like, “What have you been doing?”, “Where do you live?” … blah-blah-blah.
Here are my responses to the questions they asked.
And yes, I did send it in.
25 year Springville class of 1983 reunion
Name: blstern (a.k.a blstern). The L stands for hard work and squirrel pelts.
Children: Are the small people we created to show us how annoying we were when we were that age.
Address/email: No thanks, I already have one of each.
Achievement: After inventing the Post-it note, I moved on to running the country of Ecuador from my tool shed, I pretty much split my time between creating an agricultural landscape for global economics, putting down rebel revolts, and playing scratch off tickets at the Slurp “N” Save. I also invented a cow that could lay eggs. But, it turned evil and massacred a small rural town in eastern Pennsylvania. I finally had to put it down with an LSD laced salt-lick. (Which I also invented)
Anything to share: Oh thank God you asked I have a list.
- Sometimes, itching can be fun.
- Having more than 10 toes is just showing off.
- Water buffaloes can’t live under water.
- Clown school is not for everyone.
- There should be a prison for poor table manners.
- Nothing says “I love you” like a bathtub full of pudding.
- Chugging cream corn and jogging do not mix.
- Belly rubs are good for puppies … but not for road construction crews.
- If it weren’t for the gallons of blood and glass shattering screams; I could watch Grizzly Bears interact with humans all day long.
- Guns don’t kill people. People with internal alien brain spores with guns kill people.
Axes don’t kill people. People with interns… You get the picture.
- Big Gulps. Man now there’s a story.
- You can’t spell “Happiness” without “Pines”.
- Minimum Wage may be Gods way of saying, “This is as good as it gets for you”.
I have more.
Please fill out all information you wish. It will be in a small book for all who come to the reunion next summer 2008.
Please send back by April 15 th 2007 Federal TAX DAY!!!
Email information to
Or send to:
Please add what you would like to do for our 25th reunion.
We are starting to meet to get the reunion on its way.
Email or call if you would like to help. XXXXXXX
Help with reunion: yes no (circle one)
Can’t wait to hear from everyone!!!!
As of this time I have not received any response to my life achievements and thoughts…. Must not be invited. I knew I should have gotten my GED!