Christmas cards and wishes to make anyones heart sing with joy.

Please take this card as a token of our appreciation to you… Our wonderful readers… this Christmas holiday.

Yeah, I know, it is pretty much a piece of shit. I believe it took our art depart all of thirty seconds to slap the damn thing together and post it… I really hate those bastards and would like to see them all fired… or taste their own blood. But hey, what can one do? It’s hard to find an art department that will agree to wear full-body leather suits and ball-gags at work.

Beings this card sucks so much, I’ve decided to have the illegitimate children of our staff come up with their own sweet little Christmas cards for our readers. You can see them below.

Or if you like, you can view last years Christmas special here, http://hotlard.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/demotivational-posters-christmas-special/ because we are too cheep to do a new one this year.

Happy Christmas to you all…. Except you, yes you, you know who I’m talking about.

Ervin Shlopnick.

Managing Director of Smell My Finger and Tape Worm

Hot Lard is keeping its celebrity endorsers.

With all this talk of corporate bail-outs and the letting go of celebrity endorsers; I wanted to take this moment to let all of our readers know that Hot Lard is going strong. We have not lowered ourselves to ask for a free handout from our government. Plus I’m happy to say that all of our celebrity endorsers will be staying with us. As a matter of a fact, here are a few of the new endorsements for Hot Lard you will be seeing in news papers and magazines in the next few months.

The Hot Lard Book Club – The Reindeers’ Big Night

Santa told the little reindeer that this was the only way he could get on the good boys and girls list.  But little Reiny cried anyway.  And the mouthwash didn’t help much either.

Hot Lard Kodak Moment – Santa has been Outsourced to India

Hmmmmmm, This may not be that bad a thing.

Deck the halls with gobs of semen…

FA LA LA LA LA LA FA LA LA LA

Hot Lard’s Top Ten Posts – #8

Number #8

(Midget Porn) Hot Lard Mad Lib Volume #5(MidgetPorn)

Created: November 16, 2007

Hits: 3187

This is our most popular mad lib to date. And why not, it was our Christmas special mad lib. There is nothing better to do on a cold winter evening than to set down with the kids and read an altered version of “The Night before Christmas”. Especially when that version uses terms like, “anal leakage” “gay rape” and “crack whore”. Golly I’m starting to get that warm X-mas glow just thinking about it.  Of course we here at HL did not get any toys last Christmas after posting this… Maybe Santa was sick. From some of the photos that associated this post, I could believe that.

See the rest of the top 10 here

Demotivational Posters Volume #2

Official Hot Lard 2000 Hit Post

After getting nearly a thousand hits in the first 24 hours for our first set of Demotivational posters. We decided to come right out with a volume #2.

So here you go…. You bunch of sick fucks.

Click on each poster for a better look

To see out other Demotivational posters CLICK HERE

Check out these and new demotivational posters at our new site Demotivational Minds

Hot Lard Kodak Moment – Santa is Coming

I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause…..

Then he painted her face.

A Hot Lard Kodak Moment – Cutest Santa’s Little Helper Contest

The staff here at Hot Lard, brought in our children one day for Christmas Photos. Beings we are a bunch of self centered miscreants we have been arguing and arguing since that day over whose kid took the best X-mas photo. So what we have done is killed off all but 21 contestant’s and now we would like you to look through what is left and let us know which one you think makes the cutest “Santa’s Little Helper”.

Yeah, I know the photo shop is not great… Fuck off. I’m doing this at work.

A Hot Lard Christmas Card – The Reason for the Season

Merry Christmas to one and all….