Mr. Positive 01/31/2010

Mr. Positive says, “When all else fails, you can always cheat”.

Refinance Fail?

You tell me; are you going to refinance after seeing this guy’s sweet-ass mug?

Rio gets the Olympics, Obama fails…Again!

So after spending millions of dollars of the tax payers money to fly his Commander and Chieflyness, her first lady likeness and the Oprah-nator to some third-world shit-hole so they could  suck up to the IOC to get the Olympics (YAWN!) in Chicago…. It goes to Rio.

That was money well spent.  We didn’t even finish in the top two spots!!! Hell, they could have sent me, a sex starved midget with genital warts, and a one legged Asian hooker with turrets and we could have gotten the same results for a lot less money.

On second thought, from what I know of the IOC, my group may have won the bid.

What was the deciding factor that lost is for us???  Oprah wouldn’t give the chairman of the IOC anal. Dammit Oprah… Take one for the team!!!!

Who the fuck forgot to bring the Pepperidge Farm Cookies, the Wesson oil, and child prostitute for the IOC board?!?!?!?!?!?

Ahhhhhhhhhh….. it’s OK, nobody in this country really gives a rats ass about the Olympics anyway… They’re about as gay as Soccer… About.

Opposite of FAIL; Success!

The rage these days seems to be pointing out obvious failures in daily life.  As much as I enjoy these, I think it is time the Hot Lard staff point out some not-so-obvious successes you may have overlooked.

To get things started, here is a success story:

Here we see Tom Cruise has successfully recruited everyone’s favorite alien killer into the cult of Scientology!  So, our deepest and most-sincere congratulations go towards Tom Cruise!

Coming up next … Katie Holmes.