Does it get much sicker than this????

My nomination for sickest .gif of the year.

He who laughs will certainly end up burning in Hell.

I’ll see you all there )

Best Ever Response to a “Dear John”Letter

As a former member of the military that “DID” get a dear john letter. I find this very funny.

Boy Howdy I sure do love that…. Oh and for all you little girls and guys that don’t feel you can wait for your Man or Woman to return from duty. Fuck Off!

(Midget Porn) Hot Lard Mad Lib Volume #5 (Midget Porn)

Official Hot Lard 3000 Hit Post

Hot Lard would like to wish all of our readers a very Merry Christmas.

And as a gift to all you good little freaks girls and boys. We are placing a Christmas Mad lib in your stocking. What we did for this one was to take the x-mas classic “The Night Before Christmas” and added all the sweet little search terms you horny elves have used to find our jolly little site. Remember, the bold type words are the ones you reindeer rapist have come up with.

The Christmas Adventures of Midget Porn

‘Twas the night before midget anal sex, when all through the HOT RUSSIAN WHORE

Not a tard was stirring, not even a crazy crack whore;

The redneck bras were hung by the hot anal women with care,

In hopes that dickchop.com soon would be there;

The lard ass girls were nestled all snug in their smelly pussy,

While visions of fat midget porn danced in their heads;

And Liliya Galimowa in her ‘kerchief, and Midget Porn in a gay redneck ass,

Had just settled down for a long anal aftermath,

When out on the rainbow bright there arose such a ejaculation,

I sprang from mary kate olsen’s butt to see what was the matter.

Away to the nude nuns I flew like a “crack head”,

Tore open the ass raping mother fucker and anal fucked the gay midget.

The vanessa hudgens on the breast of the new-fallen anal bumps

Gave the lustre of an anal sex woman below,

When, what to my wondering nut sack should appear,

But a midget granny fucker, and eight tiny fat hairy midgets,

With a little old nude redneck , so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment HOW TO SWALLOW GALLONS OF CUM

More rapid than fart porn his coursers they painted a face,

And he farted, and Shit in his pants, and called them by name;

“Now, anal sex! now, vampire smile! now, ugly teen and little russian pussy!

On, funny ejaculate! on jimi hendrix! on, jesus fucking christ and john holmes is a pussy!

To the top of the nude camp! to the top of the mudfall!

Now anal rape! anal rape! anal rape them all!”

As rotting teeth that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a tubgirl, mount to the sky,

So up to the tree man the coursers they cum in my eye,

With the sleigh full of hot football gays, and granny midget porn videos too.

And then, in a tub full of seaman, I heard on the roof

The hot midget asses of each little russian nude.

As I drew in my nude 14 yo, and was fucking sick midgets,

Down the large hot asses bad newz kennel came with a bound.

He was dressed all in corn shit, from his big head to his hot anal,

And his russian whore wendy was all tarnished with redneck ejaculation.

A bundle of gay midget movies he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a dickchop explorer just opening his pack.

His redneck teeth — how they twinkled! his lard ass how merry!

His anal whores were like roses, his “corvette hotties” like a cherry!

His droll little cat teeth were drawn up like a little nudie,

And the bukkaki on his chin was as white as the midget ejaculation;

The naked picture of vanessa hudgens he held tight in his teeth,

And the hot anal women encircled his head like a nude midget;

He had a broad Jessica Lunsford and a little round hot highschool jock,

That shook, when spitting seman like a bowlful of flat russian whores fucking

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old gay redneck midget.

And I laughed when I saw him ejaculate, on Midgets dress like elves;

A wink of his hot teen sphincter and a twist of his adult diaper,

Soon gave me to know how to do anal sex;

He spoke about DRUNK GIRLS puking and went straight to his anal hurts,

And filled all the russian midgets; then turned with a double d midget whore,

And laying his crack pipe aside of his skinny midget,

And giving a nod, up the crack whore anal he rose;

He sprang to his john couey, to his tard midget gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like hot french hookers.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“Burn in Hell, Mother Fucker, and i masturbated on your wife“.

Merry Christmas from all of us here at Hot Lard.

To read our other Mad Libs click here

A Hot Lard Best Wishes to Lisa Montgomery

I’d like to send out a big fat wonderful Hot Lard Best Wishes to Lisa Montgomery who was just sentenced by a jury of her peers to die. This “Leave it to Beaver” mother wannabe decided to bypass that messy ole 9 month incubation period most women go through to have a child. She skipped right to the part were you kidnap an expecting mother and cut the fetus right out of her belly while she is awake and aware of what is happening to her.

Way to go Lisa!! I thought that sick shit like this only came out of Hollywood. But you have shown that simple Middle America folk like yourself can do much more horrific shit in real life that any ole FX artist can come up with in the movie world.

On behalf of the mother that I’m sure pleaded with you to not to hurt her or her baby. I would like to wish you a long happy stay in Hell. My one hope is that when you get there, you are forced to live the Alien birth scene over and over again.

 

Burn in Hell bitch!!!

blstern

A Hot Lard Best Wishes – Harrel Braddy

A big fat sloppy Hot Lard best wishes goes out to Harrel Braddy.

This distinguished gentleman just received a death sentence for the murder of a 5 year-old girl. How he did it makes me soooooooooooooooooo happy that this country has the death penalty. This saint of a man fed this little girl to alligators. She was awake and aware of what was happening to her as the animals ripped off her arm and crushed her skull. (Read more here)

In the long line of sick fucks, I believe that there are very few ahead of you. I have to say that you are one of the most heartless bastards out there. And, I would sell my house and cars to pay for tickets to watch you being ass-raped by the devil. My only hope is that during your execution something goes horribly wrong and you go painfully screaming into the abyss.

Enjoy Hell Mother Fucker

I hope you have to go down on Hitler during your first demon gangbang.

blstern

Check out our other best wishes here