Letters to Hot Lard – WTF is that photo… again?

It’s time to dip into the Hot Lard mail bag and see what our loyal readers have to say.

This letter comes from “R” and once again we are being asked about our WTF photo post.

I am over intrigued with this picture. Where did you get it? I want to see the rest of the set. The animation is so realistic it actually scares me to doubt its authenticity.

Much appreciated.

R

Well “R” you little rascle let me tell you all about it.

Dear R

Before I purchased the, “Your a Big Pussy Weight Master 3000″, I was a somewhat tiny fellow. I was constantly getting picked on and called names like…

Hey You
and..
Muppet Head
and..
Tiny Waistline

It was horrible as you could imagine. So I purchased the weight machine in the hopes to work out on it constantly to become big, buff and ready for action. I would then take my new found masculinity and severely pound the heads in of all my enemies.

But I pretty much am a big pussy and the weight machine really did nothing for me so I constantly got my ass kicked during my youth. So I went into the Barnyard porn business and made millions. I hired a bunch of tough guys to pour milk on the sister of my biggest nemesis while making his retarded younger brother watch.

Today I’m a Priest

Thanks for the letter

Love and kisses
Ervin Shlopnick

Keep those cards and letters coming kids and we will reply… if we feel like it

Earth’s first Extraterrestrial

It was found in Arkansas; police caught it producing methamphetamine.

A Hot Lard Best Wishes to Lisa Montgomery

I’d like to send out a big fat wonderful Hot Lard Best Wishes to Lisa Montgomery who was just sentenced by a jury of her peers to die. This “Leave it to Beaver” mother wannabe decided to bypass that messy ole 9 month incubation period most women go through to have a child. She skipped right to the part were you kidnap an expecting mother and cut the fetus right out of her belly while she is awake and aware of what is happening to her.

Way to go Lisa!! I thought that sick shit like this only came out of Hollywood. But you have shown that simple Middle America folk like yourself can do much more horrific shit in real life that any ole FX artist can come up with in the movie world.

On behalf of the mother that I’m sure pleaded with you to not to hurt her or her baby. I would like to wish you a long happy stay in Hell. My one hope is that when you get there, you are forced to live the Alien birth scene over and over again.

 

Burn in Hell bitch!!!

blstern