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Popeyes Runs Out of Chicken, Conspiracy??

Am I the only one (apparently not) that noticed something unusual about this video?

You’d think the reporter would’ve at least tried to find a white person.

Is this how stereotypes get started?  Or, is this simply fact?

Need a storage facility to keep your weed?

Got a bunch of crap laying around your house?

Got bags of weed you need to keep out of your basement?

Do you need to dig something up and get it out off your property ASAP, but don’t want to throw it away?

Do you live in Chicago?

Then look no further than Jones’ Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage:

Hot Lard’s Top Ten Posts – #1

Number #1

Video of Hillary Duff Flashing People at a party

Created: April 23, 2008

Hits: 24,313

Boobies, Tah Tahs, Sweater Cows, Fun Bags, Head Lights, Milk Jugs, Meat Pillows…

If you say you have some naked tits, people will come. And if you say you have the naked tits of a child star, they will beat down your door and rape your dog to see them. That is exactly what must have happened with our most popular post (By Far) here at Hot Lard. We mentioned that we had a video of Hillary Duff flashing someone with a video camera and the readers ate it up. They started to trickle in at first, but then that trickle turned into a constant pouring of horney little internet nerds trying to catch a glimpse of Miss Duff’s, “Whoopee Cushions”. The only problem is that they came to our site to find them.

Silly Rabbit, tits are not for kids.

See the rest of the top 10 here

Youtube Video of the Day – Wii Fit

Now, I’m not normally the person everyone would call a Wii Fanboy, but the video below is BY FAR the only reason why every guy should buy their lady the Wii Fit:

Hot Lard’s Top Ten Posts – #7

Number #7

Video Game Babes

Created: August 21, 2007

Hits: 3321

Our next post proves that the Internet is chalk full of pasty skinned computer nerds that will do anything to look at “fake breasts”. And when I say fake, I’m not talking about a par of silicon filled “happy bags” that can be found on some of your more well know porn stars. No, I’m talking about cartoon “boobies”! The ones you find on video game covers or in the game itself. We did a post on the advancement of cartoon “tah-tahs” in the video industry, giving a few examples of their work. And the computer nerds’ came out of the fucking woodwork to catch a glimpse of what we had to offer. I assume the cartoon “sweater cows” are more appealing, because for most of them, seeing a real set will never happen.     

See the rest of the top 10 here

Star Trek Porn

What’s better than Star Trek and Porn???

Nothing!!!

Star Trek Porn

You have got to check this out.

Awesome!!!!

Hot Lard has passed the 100K mark!

On behalf of the entire Hot Lard staff, we would like to thank all 4 or our readers for getting us over 100,000 hits.

Hot Lard Kodak Moment – Brush Your Teeth

Suddenly I have this uncontrollable urge to brush my teeth…

Nude…

With a sock puppet…

And donkey wearing a dress…

And a 55 gallon drum of motor oil…

And three nude Japanese hookers with whip crème on their elbows…

And midget who has two all you can eat coupons to Stuckey’s…

And a marginally retarded gopher with a soccer ball up its ass…

And a ….. Ah screw it, I’ll just beat off.

And think of monkeys

With pointy shoes and mustard.

Ervin Shlopnicks Quick Movie Review – No Country for Old Men

Beings I’m a father of two and hold down a full time job. I do not get many chances to go to the theater to watch a movie. And in this day of $9.50 ticket prices, it’s very hard for me to shell out that kind of money and take a chance on a movie really sucking.

 So this movie review is about one that I waited for to come out on DVD. That way I’m only spending $4.00, plus I’m able to stop the movie when I want to go for a bathroom break or shoot heroin. Both of which I need to do at least three times during an average length movie.

 The movie I am reviewing this time out is the Oscar winner for best picture of 2007, “No Country for Old Men”. I figured that I really could not go wrong laying my $4.00 down on an Oscar winner (and for best movie to boot). Boy howdy was I wrong about that. Now before I get started let me tell you that I did like the movie, in about the same way I like being able to get to a toilet in time when my bowels start to rumble after a double beef an been burrito. I’m not really happy about the whole situation, but I am glad I did not shit myself.

 I don’t think that I have ever seen a movie that had as much killing as this one did, but was as slow it was. Here’s an example what I mean:

 Bad Guy: Talk Talk Talk Talk

 Victim: Talk Talk Talk Talk

 Bad Guy: Talk Talk Talk Talk

 Victim: Talk Talk Talk Talk

 Bad Guy: Talk Talk Talk Talk

 Victim: Talk Talk Talk Talk

 Bad Guy: Talk Talk Talk Talk … Bang, you’re dead.

 Bad Guy walks away and we move to sheriff eating his lunch. I think that happened about eight times during the movie. Hell the biggest shootout of the movie we missed. All we get to see if the aftermath. AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS TOMMY LEE JONES’S WHOLE DREAM COVERSATION ABOUT?!?!?! Could someone fucking explain that to me.

 If this was the best that Hollywood had to offer for 2007. Then this year really sucked for movies. Also I’m pissed that I spent $4.00 for this turd, when I could have waited till it came on cable and then would have only had the 2 hours of my life that was lost watching it to bitch about.

 My suggestion, rent barnyard porn. You always know what you’re going to get and the action is a lot better. Plus no dream conversation scenes.