Posted in Celebrities, Demotivator, Hotties, Humor, Kodak Moment, Photos, Thoughts, Uncategorized, tagged anal sex, beauty queen, bitch, bride, Britney Spears, chuck norris, Crack Whore, date rape, date rape drug, demotivational, Demotivational posters, Drugs, Dumb, erotic, Facial, Fart, first base, flexable, focus, Football, GHB, hungry, isalnd, lesbians, linebackers, marrage, Midget porn, motivation, motivational posters, Ohio State, Party, porn, pose, posters, road warrior, rocket science, run, Smelly, spongebob squarepants, Strippers, Suprise, The clap, tits, tossing salad on May 5, 2008 | 8 Comments »
A funny thing happened on the way to Monday morning… Yours truly had himself a birthday.
On Friday evening I partied like I was 25…
On Saturday my body reminded me I was over 40…
Sunday, I was still being reminded I was over 40…
Monday, I am still over 40…
Damn, I had a lot of fun on Friday!
Well [...]
Read Full Post »
Posted in Fan Mail, Humor, Internet, Photos, WTF, tagged anal sex, Crack Whore, fans, Happy, hey, Kids, Letters, Midget porn, muppet, response, stalkers, topic, What the Fuck on April 30, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Hey kids,
It’s time once again to dip into the Hot Lard mail bag and read a letter from one of our happy little readers.
Today’s letter comes from Austin, and it reads…
Subject: Very curious
Hello,
There is an image at http://hotlard.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/wtf2.jpg that has intrigued us to no end.
What the fuck is that? Is the muppet-like character from a [...]
Read Full Post »
Posted in Animals, Apple, Bedtime Story, Best Buy, Best Wishes, BitTorrent, Blogroll, Books, Business, Caption Contest, Celebrities, Christmas, Demotivator, DotD, Drinking, Email Scams, Ervin Shlopnick for President, Fan Mail, Food, Forum, FotD, Halloween, HotD, Hotties, Howto, Humor, Internet, Jokes, Kodak Moment, Mad Lib, Mediacom, Microsoft, Misc, Movies, Music, News, Occult, Of The Year nominee, Owies, PSA, Photos, Poetry, Politics, Pranks, Public, Quick Movie, Rants, Religion, Research, SPAM, Shaming, Social, Sports, Super Tard, TV, Tech Support, Thoughts, Tips & Tricks, Video, Video games, WTF, Yahoo, You Suck, YouTube, animations, cheezburger, life, reviews, tagged 100000, 100K, anal sex, Blog, Britney Spears, Crack Whore, Hits, Midget porn, sniff on April 29, 2008 | 1 Comment »
On behalf of the entire Hot Lard staff, we would like to thank all 4 or our readers for getting us over 100,000 hits.
Read Full Post »
Posted in Uncategorized on April 9, 2008 | No Comments »
Today we bring you a photo that I personally took while driving around town. You wouldn’t believe how thankful I was to myself for bring my digital camera along with me that day! It’s too bad I wasn’t able to record the audio because this clunker was LOUD!
Notice the rag in the gas tank.
Notice the [...]
Read Full Post »
Posted in Demotivator, Humor, Photos, Public, Thoughts, Uncategorized, tagged action movies, alseep, anal sex, balls, baoting, barn yard, Bennett, Blow Job, Boxing, bra, Britney Spears, Burn in Hell, cat, chain mail, choices, Clap, cocaine, Computer, Crack Whore, deer, demotivation, Discovery, dogs, douche bag, Drunk, duct tape, fat, fat freind, Freaks, Funny, Godzilla, Golf, grammy, Happy, Hell, Intern, japanese, Jar Jar, Jourrnalist, kid, Killer, kissing, lesbians, manly, Masturbate, merit badge, Midget porn, mogul, Monster, motivation, mugshot, mugshots, Murder, Music, Naked, nice guy, Oral Sex, Overrated, pedophiles, pink, plane, poker, poker face, porn, poster, Practice, Puke, pwned, Retards, Scary, scary shit, scouts, second thought, Sex, shipwreck, Shit, shit hole, Shy, Shyness, small, smokey, smokey the bear, sniff, Soccer, start wars, steak, tape, The Masters, top secret, Twins, undead, villian, Wal-Mart, war on February 13, 2008 | 17 Comments »
Official Hot Lard 1000 Hit Post (in 24 hours)
Official Hot Lard 3000 Hit Post
The crew at Hot Lard has made a great discovery. We found a motivational poster generator on the internet. You know the ones I’m talking about, they say “Teamwork” and then go on to say something inspirational about working with [...]
Read Full Post »
Posted in Humor, Internet, Jokes, PSA, Public, Social, Thoughts, Tips & Tricks, Yahoo, tagged Art, Art Class, Blood, Break, Break the ice, Breath, Can I touch it, Charlie, Colostomy Bag, Conversation, Cute, Draw, Ear, Foot, Hello, helping hand, Ice, Ice Breaker, Jar, Kidding, Lame, Land, Leak, Left, Man, mints, Misfits, Overrated, Poo, Puss, Rectal, Rectal Itch, Roof, Scab, School, Scurvy, Soars, Stuff, Talk, We Care, Worms on November 16, 2007 | No Comments »
One of the hardest things for a person to do is find a good “Ice Breaker” to start a conversation with someone you like. I used to have the same problem until I met Dr. Ervin Shlopnick. Now I have no trouble at all starting an interesting conversation with a stranger or cute girl…or [...]
Read Full Post »
Posted in Humor, Internet, Jokes, PSA, Public, Social, Thoughts, Tips & Tricks, WTF, Yahoo, tagged Affectionate, Contact, Dishes, Dr. Phil, Dungeons and Dragons, Duties, Fairy, Fart, girlfriend, Grandmother, help, helping hand, Laundry, Lucky, Mamas Boy, Married, Nancy, OOPS, Panties, Princesses, Restraining order, Sick, Slurp, Stalker, Stalking, Touchy Feely, Vampires, Victim, We Care, Woman, Wuss, Wussy, Yahoo on November 15, 2007 | No Comments »
Dr. Ervin Shlopnick to the rescue….. Again
This poor guy needed to ask if he was a wussy. Normally a fellow is self-aware enough to make that call on his own. But I’m afraid this wuss is so far gone that he is not aware of his own wussy-ness.
Look at the lies these uncaring and unfeeling [...]
Read Full Post »
Posted in Humor, Internet, Jokes, PSA, Public, Social, Thoughts, WTF, Yahoo, tagged Anti Christ, Baby, cat, Coal Mine, Cult, Face, Facial, Friends, Frying Pan, Give, Happy, helping hand, Hero, Iron Fist, Kiddo, My Hero, Pink Eye, Relationship, Sevicing, Sheep, Sloppy Seconds, Take, Tricky, We Care, Zodor on November 14, 2007 | No Comments »
Once I start helping people I just can’t stop. Here is yet another instance of me giving and giving until it hurts. But it is a good hurt.
Once again this lost soul is getting advise from the unknowing and untrained public. They just don’t understand the hurt, Dammit!!!
Don’t worry kiddo, Ervin Shlopnick is here to [...]
Read Full Post »
Posted in Uncategorized on August 16, 2007 | No Comments »
Folks, if you’re going to puke … do it with style.
If you’re unfamiliar with the word puke, Dictionary.com defines puke as “the matter ejected in vomiting“.
Alright, enough with the pleasantries … here’s some good old-fashioned photos. Any one of these could qualify as our DotD or FotD.
Here we see Ralph expelling a gallon of pudding [...]
Read Full Post »
Posted in Email Scams, Uncategorized, tagged 10%, American, Brain Damage, Business, CEO, China, Christmas, Commie, Decapitation, Dog Food, Gang, Good light, Government, harm, Humor, Iron lung, Johnny, Junkies, Kill'em, Killing, Killing Machine, Last rights, Laundry, Lead Paint, Letters, Live stock, Man, Milton Bradley, Pedophile, Perv, Recall, Respirtory, Retarded, rush, Sally, SUV, Teacher, Toys, Wheel Chair, Wheezing, Womanly Duties on August 14, 2007 | No Comments »
Dear China,
I am a business man who is interested in doing business with you. Of course I’m a business MAN. How could a woman be able to run a business when she is so busy with berthing babies and doing her husbands laundry?
What I would like to purpose to you is a can’t miss business [...]
Read Full Post »
Ervin Sholpnick
Flanders
tadjur
countofflanders