We’re Away…

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About Mr. Positive.

I’m sure you’re all wondering what the hell all the “Mr. Positive” posts are about?

Well you see, the attitude around the Hot Lard offices has been really shitty lately… (Geesh, you seduce one employees cat and the hole fucking office goes ape shit)

So I’ve decide to help the companies morale by placing these motivational posters in everyone’s torture chamber… errrrrrrrrrrr I mean cubicles.

And it seems to be working. Office drive by shootings are down .25% and it appears that only the weak are committing suicide again.

It feels really nice to do good things for your livestock… errrrrrrrrr I mean employees.

To see what posters I have hung so far, click here

Mr Positive 06/19/2009

Mr Positive says, ” Your boss does not know that the smile on your face is from the daydreams you have of killing him. So that gives you the element of suprise”.

There is nothing you can do about it

Hot Lard has passed the 100K mark!

On behalf of the entire Hot Lard staff, we would like to thank all 4 or our readers for getting us over 100,000 hits.

Lipitor Prescribing Information

Global Warming Politicians

House #1

A 20 room mansion (not including 8 bathrooms) heated by natural gas.  Add on a pool (and a pool house) and a separate guest house, all heated by gas.  In one month, this residence consumes more energy than the average American household does in a year.  The average bill for electricity and natural gas runs over $2,400.  In natural gas alone, this property consumes more than 20 times the national average for an American home.  This house is not situated in a Northern or Midwestern ‘snow belt’ area.  It’s in the South.

House #2

Designed by an architecture professor at a leading national university.  This house incorporates every ‘green‘ feature current home construction can provide.  The house is 4,000 square feet (4 bedrooms) and is nestled on a high prairie in the American southwest.  A central closet in the house holds geothermal heat pumps drawing ground water through pipes sunk 300 feet into the ground.

The water (usually 67 degrees F.) heats the house in the winter and cools it in the summer.  The system uses no fossil fuels such as oil or natural gas and it consumes one-quarter electricity required for a conventional heating/cooling system.  Rainwater from the roof is collected and funneled into a 25,000 gallon underground cistern.  Waste water from showers, sinks and toilets goes into underground purifying tanks and then into the cistern.  The collected water then irrigates the land surrounding the house.  Surrounding flowers and shrubs native to the area enable the property to blend into the surrounding rural landscape.

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HOUSE #1 is outside of Nashville, Tennessee; it is the abode of the ‘environmentalist‘ Al Gore.

HOUSE #2 is on a ranch near Crawford, Texas; it is the residence of the President of the United States of America, George W. Bush.

An ‘inconvenient truth’.

Hot Lard Kodak Moment – Learning

Coming soon to a classroom near you.

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Eating So Much Corn, You Shit Corn … How Long?

Scientists are spending their hard-earned grant money trying to figure out the age-old question How Long Do You Have to Eat Nothing But Corn Before You Shit Out a Poo Made Up Entirely of Corn?

Somehow, they’ve managed to find out.

Now, I don’t want to spoil your enjoyment of clicking the link to find out how long it actually took … so feel free to figure it out yourself.  If you’ve got some time, try it yourself and post your results!  I’m sure everyone, like me, has missed a few precious hours of good sleep tying to figure this out.