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Archive for the ‘Quick Movie’ Category
Hot Lard Quick Movie – Rainbow Bright and the Search for Satisfaction
Posted: November 1, 2007 by Ervin Sholpnick in Humor, Movies, Photos, Quick MovieTags: Adult movies, Crack Whore, Cum Slurping Whore, Film, Fuck, Gangbang, John Holmes, LSD, porn, Porno, Slipknot, Terrorist, Washington
Since we last left our hero Rainbow Bright; her faithful companion and lover Thunder Thrust the wonder horse has left for parts unknown and has not called or written. Plus he owes her money after spending all of her welfare check on acid lased salt licks. She also thinks he may have taken her VCR and Slipknot CDs. And there is the very real possibility that he gave her the clap.
Opening scene
Rainbow Bright: Thanks for the surprise gangbang Papa Snarf. It was really fun. But it didn’t fill the hole in my heart from Thunder Thrust leaving.
Strawberry Shortcake was skipping by high on LSD, over heard this and said…
Strawberry Shortcake: Don’t you mean the gaping hole in your ass? What you need to do is find another large dick mammal to satisfy your unholy anal cravings.
So Rainbow Bright set out on a journey to find a new anal lover.
Rainbow Bright: I hope throwing this angle dust everywhere helps me to find my man…. or animal…. or he/she….. or whatever I’m not picky.
First stop was at the home of Scooby-Do.
Velma: Hey Scooby look, Rainbow Bright asked if you could play and she gave us this picture book of her adventures with her horsey. She wants to play the games they JESUS H. CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!?!? HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE TOOK IT ALL IN!!! THAT CUM SLURPING WHORE!!! SHE SWALLOWED IT ALL!!! MY GOD SHE ASKED FOR MORE!!! THAT IS ILLEGAL IN THIS COUNTRY AND IN THE EYES OF GOD!!! I think we may have found a bigger skank that you Daphne.
Quickly Godzilla steps in to try and save the day
Godzilla: No fucking way!!! Don’t do it! I gots me the flaming herpes from that hoe the last time we gots it on and I haven’t been able to get rids of them.
But Scooby had already made his mind up.
Scooby: I’m getting me some ass tonight!
Before he left, the gang wanted to get Scooby a gift he could give to Rainbow Bright.
Freddy: She’s used to some pretty massive dick Scooby. You may want to get a bigger butt plug than that. Try the “John Holmes is a Pussy” model.
After receiving the gift, Rainbow Bright was so happy that she lifted her skirt to show Scooby the naughty regions he soon would be exploring.
Norville Rogers (AKA Shaggy): Hey bitch; there are like animal cruelty laws in this state you know man. Has anyone ever crawled in there and like lived? There’s a missing persons poster on your left butt cheek.
Meanwhile in Washington D.C.
Bill: What we need Tommy, is to find a girl that can hide a nuke up her ass and set if off while being skull-fucked by 60 of the world’s most notorious terrorist. But where can we find such a woman?
To be continued….
To see our hero’s first adventure click here.
A Hot Lard Quick Movie…..Coming Soon
Posted: September 5, 2007 by Ervin Sholpnick in Quick MovieTags: , Bear, Cartoon, Cuddley, Humor, Movie, Movies, Penis, Quick Movie
Coming soon to the Hot Lard collection of Quick Movies.
Care Bears: Revenge of Happy Cock Bear
Guess what he learned in prison?????????
Coming fall 2007
TARD WARS
Posted: August 30, 2007 by Ervin Sholpnick in Quick Movie, Super TardTags: Block Buster, Blockbuster, Humor, Kitten, Movies, Poo, Retards, Sci Fi, Science Fiction, SciFi, Spider Monkey, Star Wars, Super, Super Tard, Tard, Tard Wars, Wars
It has waited an eternity with baited breath…..
Looking for the right moment…..
To show the world the symbol of true terror…
It’s time for a beloved super hero to face his greatest challenge….
No amount of training…
No amount of skill…
No amount of drool…
Can prepare him for the terror that lies ahead.
Hot Lard Studios is proud to present…
The battle begins Fall 2007
This time, the poo will fly… really it will fly… these guys have flying poo… and they like to thow it too. Like those stupid-ass spider monkeys you love to hit with bricks. God I hate those little fucking things!! But you will love this movie … even with all the spider monkey flying poo.
Hot Lard Quick Movie – Attack of the John Holmes Robots
Posted: August 15, 2007 by Ervin Sholpnick in Hotties, Humor, Photos, Quick Movie, ThoughtsTags: Cartoon, Crack Whore, Fin, John Holmes, Movie, Porno, Rainbow Bright, Robots, Shit Wagon, Snarf, Trever
Here is a 10 second porno movie staring Rainbow Bright.
Our Hero
Rocket Boy: Hurry up Rocket Horse, I’m late to nail Rainbow Bright.
Meanwhile
Papa Snarf: Jesus H. Christ Rainbow Bright, what crawled up your snatch and died?! Your ass smells so bad you could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon. What the hell happen to you.
Earlier that day
John Holmes Robot: Hey slut, you want to have a three way? (Start 70′s porno music)
So Rainbow Bright enlist the services of Clem and Trever Snarf. Two guys that will do anything for free crack.
Rainbow Bright: And that is why I need you to climb up my ass. I see you have your goggles on. So let’s get started.
Final Scene / Shocking Twist
Rainbow Bright: Sorry Rocket Boy, I have found someone else to keep me happy.
Fin
Check out our hero’s continuing adventures here
We’re Away…
Posted: September 4, 2009 by Ervin Sholpnick in Animals, animations, Apple, Bedtime Story, Best Buy, Best Of, Best Wishes, BitTorrent, Blogroll, Books, Business, Caption Contest, Celebrities, cheezburger, Christmas, Classic Comments, Cool Stuff, Demotivator, DotD, Drinking, Email Scams, Ervin Shlopnick for President, Fan Mail, Food, Forum, FotD, Government, Halloween, Holidays, Hot Lard's Birthday, HotD, Hotties, Howto, Humor, Internet, Jokes, Kodak Moment, life, Links, Mad Lib, Mediacom, Microsoft, Misc, Movies, Mr. Negative, Mr. Positive, Music, News, Nintendo, Occult, Of The Year nominee, Owies, Photos, Poetry, Politics, Pranks, PSA, Public, Quick Movie, Rants, Religion, Research, reviews, Shaming, Social, SPAM, Sports, Super Tard, Tech Support, Thoughts, TinyPic, Tips & Tricks, TV, Uncategorized, Video, Video games, WalMart, Worst Of, WTF, Yahoo, You Suck, YouTubeTags: We're Away
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