Demotivational Posters #40

Ok, two things here….

First, it has been a very long time since I have created any demotivational posters, so I’m sure these suck like your whore of a wife. Of course your whore of a wife sucks pretty good… just ask your neighbors donkey. So we’ll just say that they suck like you…. Where you’d only do it if you were forced to and you’d probably be pretty bad at it.

Second, I’m not really sure if this is truly volume 40 of the poster series. But I’m being lazy and don’t really want to check the site the see what number the last one was, so I figured, “Fuck it” I’ll just say its number 40 and run with it. Besides, if I skipped a few volumes, later on I can use those numbers and say they are the “LOST VOLUMES” and charge a shit load of money for them.

Not to say that our live stock….errrrrrrrrrr I mean devoted readers are stupid and gullible. I just think that I’m that much more smarter than you and could get one over on yah.

Enjoy, you turds.

Ervin

Mr. Positive 01/31/2010

Mr. Positive says, “When all else fails, you can always cheat”.

Demotivational Posters – Running is Dumb

Running sucks…

It’s just dumb! Why the fuck run when you can walk or drive and get where you are going and not be out of breath.

Here’s few reasons why running is so dumb.

Demotivational Poster – Nightmares

Sometimes I will see a photo and say to myself, “Self, this is a demotivational poster.” I knew the second that I looked at this picture I was going to be wetting my bed tonight from the nightmare that it would bring… Ok, I guess I pretty much wet the bed all the time for no apparent reason… other than I like the feeling…. And smell…. But that is a story for another time.

Christmas cards and wishes to make anyones heart sing with joy.

Please take this card as a token of our appreciation to you… Our wonderful readers… this Christmas holiday.

Yeah, I know, it is pretty much a piece of shit. I believe it took our art depart all of thirty seconds to slap the damn thing together and post it… I really hate those bastards and would like to see them all fired… or taste their own blood. But hey, what can one do? It’s hard to find an art department that will agree to wear full-body leather suits and ball-gags at work.

Beings this card sucks so much, I’ve decided to have the illegitimate children of our staff come up with their own sweet little Christmas cards for our readers. You can see them below.

Or if you like, you can view last years Christmas special here, http://hotlard.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/demotivational-posters-christmas-special/ because we are too cheep to do a new one this year.

Happy Christmas to you all…. Except you, yes you, you know who I’m talking about.

Ervin Shlopnick.

Managing Director of Smell My Finger and Tape Worm

Mr. Positive – Sharing Your Thanksgiving Meal

Mr. Positive says…

“After this years big Thanksgiving meal. Throw up on a homeless family. They could really use the food”.

Happy Thanksgiving… Now get out of the way or I’ll cut you bitch!!!

On behalf of all of us at Hot lard…

And the three midgets who like to touch themselves that we keep locked up in the basement.

We’d like to wish you all a very happy Easter. You know it’s this time of year we should….

Huh????

What???

It’s what???

Thanksgiving????????

WHY THE FUCK DON’T YOU PEOPLE TELL ME THESE THINGS!?!?!?!?!?!?

God Dammit! That completely changes everything I need to do now!

I need to get a bathtub of whip cream for the Hooker wrestling tournament. I’ll bet there isn’t one single virgin in the office to sacrifice,  and who the fuck is going to hand out the Thanksgiving colostomy bags-o-fun this year?!?!?!?!? And I suppose nobody has gone out a clubbed a baby seal for the meal!

Fuck!

FUCK!

Well anywho, Please enjoy this time you will have with your family. And only think about how nice it would be to kill them all. Taking action on those thoughts can get messy and is very hard to conceal…. So I’ve been told.

Happy  Thanksgiving

Hot Lard joins PETA to speak out about the slaughter of baby seals

It’s time to show Canada, they can’t fuck with PETA and Hot Lard!!!!

(Click on poster for a better look)

Iowa Hawkeye Demotivation

We are still in prison…errrrrrrrrrrrrr I mean on vacation.

But after the bitch slap the Iowa Hawkeyes laid on the Penn State …. Ummmm, they’re called the Silly Little Bitches aren’t they???

Well any-who, I had to create a couple of posters to mark this great victory.

GO HAWKS!

Demotivation while we are away.

Here are a few demotivational posters I had lying around. Figured I’d post them so you all had something to look at while we were away.

Why are we away you ask….

Prison.