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(Midget Porn) and Crack Whore Wishes Hot Lard a Happy Birthday

Happy anal electrode Hot Lard,

We just wanted to ass rape a gay midget and give you a fat woman thong from our Russian whore collection. Tonight we would like to give you a public blowjob while Penis ramming the shit teeth of Hillary Duff, while lorena bobbit and Rainbow Bright explore anal leakage and fat porn with fat Nigerian sluts who like to drink sperm from a computer nerd who has anal warts and a slutty sister.

After going to church we thought we could anal rape hot lpga golfers with a sperm poster of brett favre as a viking. Then watch the nympho puke on Sarahc_1225, Finally I want to shoot my load on your mexi-mullet and finish the day off when god kills a kitten.

Yours always

Midget Porn and Crack Whore

See our other B-day wishes here

Hot Lard’s Top Ten Posts – #8

Number #8

(Midget Porn) Hot Lard Mad Lib Volume #5(MidgetPorn)

Created: November 16, 2007

Hits: 3187

This is our most popular mad lib to date. And why not, it was our Christmas special mad lib. There is nothing better to do on a cold winter evening than to set down with the kids and read an altered version of “The Night before Christmas”. Especially when that version uses terms like, “anal leakage” “gay rape” and “crack whore”. Golly I’m starting to get that warm X-mas glow just thinking about it.  Of course we here at HL did not get any toys last Christmas after posting this… Maybe Santa was sick. From some of the photos that associated this post, I could believe that.

See the rest of the top 10 here

Hot Lard’s Top Ten Posts – #10

Beings Hot Lard is turning 1, we thought it would be fun to look back at some of the things that have made us the forth most popular web site on the Internet. So we are going to count down the top ten posts we have had in this first year of our existence.

Number #10

(Midget Porn) Hot Lard Mad Lib Volume #3

Created: October 23, 2007

Number of hits: 3069

This is the third volume of the Mad Lib series and the second most popular of them all. We placed the (Midget Porn) moniker on the title to celebrate the “number one” used reference word to find our web site. This post is a testament to the fact that if you print the sick and demented words of the crazy fucks that troll the Internet; you will get them to cum… errrrrrrrr I mean “come” to your site. After each one of the Mad Lib posts I immediately followed it with a very long shower and a day and a half of crying. Plus my soul dies just a little bit more.

See the rest of the top ten here

Hot Lard has passed the 100K mark!

On behalf of the entire Hot Lard staff, we would like to thank all 4 or our readers for getting us over 100,000 hits.

(Midget Porn) Hot Lard Mad Lib Volume #9 (Midget Porn)

Hey kids!

It’s time for another happy happy joy joy Hot Lard Mad Lib. This is where we take all the search terms you snuggle muffins use to find our web site of rainbow kisses and ice cream sprinkle rain showers.  So as you rascals read along, you may find a word you used to look for that picture of two retarded midgets trying to have sex with a turtle. Or that site that shows somebody’s grandmother riding a horse… Or should we say, the horse is riding her.

So remember my group of monkey humpers, you wrote this.

Enjoy

Midget Porn and the Herpes princess

In the evening, Midget Porn likes to show his children demotivational posters of gay rape and large volume ejaculation on retarded midgets before they go to sleep. His littlest girl, Fat Thong asked if he knew any gay pirate porn stories he could tell. Midget Porn did not know of any, but he did know a good black hairy porn story he would tell her.

Once upon a time…

There was a fat girl with no teeth who liked to puke piss on hot girls butt cracks to get them to eat shit and slurp cum from a gay mans ass with a straw. She did this because she was unhappy with the fat ass whore that was ruling the land. She was an evil crack whore that liked camaro mullets, fat humor, and gay rape.

The only hope to free the kingdom was the brave and noble, Super Tard and his trusty sidekick man boobs. Together these two could ass rape any drunk babysitter that tried to anal probe hot gay naked emo boys and naked retards with their molester moustache. But first they had to stop anal leakage from destroying the midgets fucking festival of the shit pants tribe of the piss fucker people.

So the two heroes’s jumped on their fat ass hotties and masturbated all the way to the forbidden land of red neck boobs to find volunteers for the “blow job” party of the lard ass clan. It was there they met prince Shut the fuck up and his anal girls of the bikini crack round table. They were asked if they would join Midget Porn and Man Boobs in their quest for rick astley hot ass and sex initiation into gangs. They agreed and so the fat woman sucks balls brigade was born!

They rode through all the villages to wipe out fat people in public and gay midget porn that had plagued them. Before long you could not find any overweight woman trying to get raped while drunk or pissed on by ugly fat people with anal bottles and rednecks who like anal. They made the evil doers puke cum on fat dudes in leotards, this way they would always have to show the mark of cum teeth justice.

The evil queen was not happy and fist fucked retarded swimsuit models with strawberry shortcake and bad teeth. The people cried out, “When will the girl without bra take her glass full of piss and face paint the fat nigerian hotties”? All hope appeared to be lost… Until can i has cheezburger showed up with fat american whore and butt sex to do battle with the queen for the right to anal rape Rainbow Bright.

The battle was long a brutal; some much fat porn and batman sex was lost. But in the end the retard sniffing a dogs butt would prevail. And all the gay midgets cheered. The double D Chinese hooker had been saved and gay astronaut anal sex would once again rule the land.

The shit, fuck, piss, End

You can see our other mad libs here

(Midget Porn) Hot Lard Mad Lib Volume #8 (Midget Porn)

Official Hot Lard 1000 Hit Post

It’s time for another Hot Lard mad lib. Where we take all of the search terms of damnation and lust you group of anal assassins have come up with to find our cult web site of enlightenment and truth. And make them into a cute story of puppies, fluffy bunnies and crack whores with large black dildos rammed up their anal regions. (Shiver)

But this time around I decided to mix things up a bit. Instead of another boring story you can read to your illegitimate children. I used them in the form of a drivers test. The Iowa drivers exam to be exact. Why Iowa you say? I figured they have been shielded long enough  from you freaks and should be brought into the fold to suffer right along with the rest of us.

Once again how this works is, the bold and sick words are the ones you anus grabbers loyal readers have come up with. So remember…. Don’t blame me,  because you fucking wrote this!

Enjoy

Midget Porn takes a drivers test

Iowa Drivers and anal puke Exam

Below are fat woman that you need to pound heavily to be able to receive your Iowa crack pipe for the purpose of operation gay midget porn on state and national carpet munchers and vanessa hudgens. A passing score of dickchop must be obtained to pass this bloodrayne porn. Failure to do so will result in gay rape and anal leakage. This is not an open shart test. So no hot midget women should be present during testing. If the mullet babe is caught cheating during test, they will be immediately gagged with large cock and will have to repeat the ass torture.

Please look over the demotivational posters carefully and choose the slutty catholic girls you believe to be the best bukkaki to each one. If you get stuck on a double D crack whore, simply move onto the next fat Russian hooker and come back to it if cum gargling allows. In the case of a girl on toilet or sudden doctor anal probe, please alert the Nigerian porn/prostitute of your situation so they may ass rape a nun with a bottle.

Good Luck

1. When approaching a 14yo pussy in the rain you should first.

A. Look at hot porn

B. Experience fat people ass sex

C. Explain the advantages of man on man midget porn

D. All of the above

2. If you reach a jamie lynn spears at the same time as a chester the molester you should.

A. Hide from the fat angry woman.

B. Spread “butt cum” on her face.

C. Share your santa clause porn sex with all.

D. All of the above

3. At what speed is it safe to anal finger a whore with your bad teeth?

A. 55mph

B. 65mph

C. At any speed the rectal smell is not affected.

D. All of the above.

4. When traveling with large amounts of Wisconsin mudflap anal it is best to check your fat preteens for.

A. underinflated double fudgey boobs

B. Large amounts of corn porn

C. Youtube animal porn in your rearview mirror

D. All of the Above

5. When snowing you should check your “redneck reindeer” and lard whores for which of the following.

A. Unruly gay vampires.

B. The occasional tard pussy

C. Over inflated man boobs

D. All of the above

6. When is it best to bust a nut while fat gay midgets puke on lorena bobbit.

A. Anytime gay ass rape is involved.

B. As soon as the anal probe is inserted.

C. Only upon seeing your sister naked.

D. All of the above

7. When passing a wang wang midget that is having a public blowjob party with nude diaper wearing redneck mullet retards and upskirt nuns who have large blue vein boobs, you should look for.

A. Ass raping fat ohio state fans

B. Gang initiation during vampire midget porn.

C. Out of control my little pony cum shots.

D. All of the above

8. If you cross a scary retard while they are looking at the fat boobs of puke covered teens you must immediately remove the coke bottle up her ass with which one of these.

A. A cum drinking barney doll.

B. A midget anal finder

C. Fat tards farting in their diapers.

D. All of the above

9. When faced with a head on child molester mustache you should.

A. Warn all passengers that anal hurts

B. Ask for forgiveness for fist fucking a retard

C. Shoot your wad on the closes cum whore you can find

D. All of the above

10. What type of Rainbow Bright porn would you use when ass hammering a dead cat and gay redneck with your anal smashing mad alligator of love?

A. It would have to be a anal loving coke bottle

B. Make sure the anal whore is in the correct position.

C. Ask the Brokeback Mountain Cowboys if they would like to lick the cheese off the head of a dick.

D. All of the abo…. You know, if you answered D to any of these questions you are one sick fuck!

This completes the Ass Master portion of the granny midget porn. Please remove the bloody dildo from your fat ass and take it up to the chinese fat ass slut. You will be instructed on football gay porn and usa slut cum puke for the funny midgets portion of the test. If you have any questions on fat people in swimsuits or celebrities in diapers you will need to refer them to the redneck crack whores of the mirror sniffing women porn division.

(Midget Porn) Hot Lard Mad Lib Volume #7 (Midget Porn)

Official Hot Lard 1000 Hit Post

Here it is 12:01 am Sunday morning…

I’ve had a few glasses of wine, because that is what white people like and it helps quiet the voices in my head. I decided that I needed to do something fun to take my mind off of the snakes and spiders…. errrrrrrrrr I mean the grind of everyday life. So what better to do than look at all the really neat-o reference words you group of granny panty sniffers have come up with to find our wholesome, well rounded, God fearing, educationally political correct web site…. Had I mentioned I have been drinking?

After getting over the shock and aw of your words of sin and lust. I decided to create another happy little Mad Lib with them, so you could all share in the nightmares I will be having.

Once again how this works is…

The BOLD typed abominations words are yours (and may God forgive you all), so as you read along and start to lose faith in all of humanity…. Remember…. Humanity could give a rats ass about what you think.

Did I mention I have been drinking?

The cursed and hilarious misadventures of Midget Porn

One day Midget Porn was enjoying some good Puke Porn with midget women with fat asses when he notice that nude freak women like fat tard anal leakage while hot midgets have anal sex with animals and fat ugly chicks perform gay rape on crack whores with hot egg farts and lard in their crack.

So the porn apple ass had to come out of hiding and hire chester the molester to anal fuck the big headed midgets while the fat drunk women would compare cum shots of the nude retards. After which they would enjoy cheerleader puke on meximullets then sink their bad teeth into some fat anal.

The monkey midget thought it was time that redneck pussy and sick bitch porno united with rainbow bright and create some peter griffin porn for the cum drinking babysitter so she could enjoy some video game anal rape with the double d crack whore of the cross eyed prostitute tribe.

It was then that the woman farting on toilet was taken from the nude catholic girls so she may perform midget on midget porn with gay clowns and underground whores fucking. She agreed to this because fat porn puke and shit,piss,sex were more important to her than all the hairy midgets and greasy farts in the kingdom.

Finally ugly midget fucks hot woman rode in on his hotties in diapers to save the day. First he freed the hot ass girls fucking from the mad bitch. He then told the evil fat thong to shut the fuck up and eat his shit with corn bits and hot dikes. The people cheered when nude freaks with dirty diapers had to experience anal pumping by the one eyed hookers and gay cowboys.

The lard sex End

Read our other Mad Libs here

(Midget Porn) Hot Lard Mad Lib Volume #6 (Midget Porn)

Official Hot Lard 2000 Hit Post

OK you freaks, it has been some time since we have done a Mad Lib. I was hoping that your search terms would get a little better. But they did not…

You are still the sick ass freaks we have grown to love and stalk. Once again how this works is…. The bold type words are the ones YOU pantie sniffers have used to find our little site here. So as you read along remember…. YOU FUCKING WROTE THIS, YOU SICK ASS BASTARDS.

Enjoy.

The continuing anal adventures of Midget Porn

One day Midget Porn was watching home made videos of ANAL LEAKAGE and whore sex when he realized that he had not had any youtube anal with hot fat girls while american retards scraped their rectal warts onto bitch girls with fat asses, who like large man boobs on their russian porn crack whores.

So he put on his girl mullet and set out with a group of nude freaks in search of free gay midget porn that could be used with fat retards that need fat sex girls to puke on naked retards in hopes that fat naked midgets would bring ugly fat women to swallow loads of Nigerian love cream.

Then from out of nowhere a group of marauding crazy midgets and their drunk whale girls started a savage anal attack in a no anal zone on the HOT ASSES of the Horney Russian retards. They used crack whores on the cookie monster so he would enjoy lesbian sniff farts with shit in a toilet bowl.

All the Large breasted women could do was to give up their fat crack whores to the Cloverfield monster and its many midgets fucking fat women. It was a sad time until the horse sex brigade rode in on their russian pussy and forced midget anal sex and sex puke on the marauders. Making them leave it to beaver with midgets and animals porn all the way back to the topless sister and her big pussy retard.

The puking on face End

(Midget Porn) Hot Lard Mad Lib Volume #5 (Midget Porn)

Official Hot Lard 3000 Hit Post

Hot Lard would like to wish all of our readers a very Merry Christmas.

And as a gift to all you good little freaks girls and boys. We are placing a Christmas Mad lib in your stocking. What we did for this one was to take the x-mas classic “The Night Before Christmas” and added all the sweet little search terms you horny elves have used to find our jolly little site. Remember, the bold type words are the ones you reindeer rapist have come up with.

The Christmas Adventures of Midget Porn

‘Twas the night before midget anal sex, when all through the HOT RUSSIAN WHORE

Not a tard was stirring, not even a crazy crack whore;

The redneck bras were hung by the hot anal women with care,

In hopes that dickchop.com soon would be there;

The lard ass girls were nestled all snug in their smelly pussy,

While visions of fat midget porn danced in their heads;

And Liliya Galimowa in her ‘kerchief, and Midget Porn in a gay redneck ass,

Had just settled down for a long anal aftermath,

When out on the rainbow bright there arose such a ejaculation,

I sprang from mary kate olsen’s butt to see what was the matter.

Away to the nude nuns I flew like a “crack head”,

Tore open the ass raping mother fucker and anal fucked the gay midget.

The vanessa hudgens on the breast of the new-fallen anal bumps

Gave the lustre of an anal sex woman below,

When, what to my wondering nut sack should appear,

But a midget granny fucker, and eight tiny fat hairy midgets,

With a little old nude redneck , so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment HOW TO SWALLOW GALLONS OF CUM

More rapid than fart porn his coursers they painted a face,

And he farted, and Shit in his pants, and called them by name;

“Now, anal sex! now, vampire smile! now, ugly teen and little russian pussy!

On, funny ejaculate! on jimi hendrix! on, jesus fucking christ and john holmes is a pussy!

To the top of the nude camp! to the top of the mudfall!

Now anal rape! anal rape! anal rape them all!”

As rotting teeth that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a tubgirl, mount to the sky,

So up to the tree man the coursers they cum in my eye,

With the sleigh full of hot football gays, and granny midget porn videos too.

And then, in a tub full of seaman, I heard on the roof

The hot midget asses of each little russian nude.

As I drew in my nude 14 yo, and was fucking sick midgets,

Down the large hot asses bad newz kennel came with a bound.

He was dressed all in corn shit, from his big head to his hot anal,

And his russian whore wendy was all tarnished with redneck ejaculation.

A bundle of gay midget movies he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a dickchop explorer just opening his pack.

His redneck teeth — how they twinkled! his lard ass how merry!

His anal whores were like roses, his “corvette hotties” like a cherry!

His droll little cat teeth were drawn up like a little nudie,

And the bukkaki on his chin was as white as the midget ejaculation;

The naked picture of vanessa hudgens he held tight in his teeth,

And the hot anal women encircled his head like a nude midget;

He had a broad Jessica Lunsford and a little round hot highschool jock,

That shook, when spitting seman like a bowlful of flat russian whores fucking

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old gay redneck midget.

And I laughed when I saw him ejaculate, on Midgets dress like elves;

A wink of his hot teen sphincter and a twist of his adult diaper,

Soon gave me to know how to do anal sex;

He spoke about DRUNK GIRLS puking and went straight to his anal hurts,

And filled all the russian midgets; then turned with a double d midget whore,

And laying his crack pipe aside of his skinny midget,

And giving a nod, up the crack whore anal he rose;

He sprang to his john couey, to his tard midget gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like hot french hookers.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“Burn in Hell, Mother Fucker, and i masturbated on your wife“.

Merry Christmas from all of us here at Hot Lard.

To read our other Mad Libs click here