Why do I immediately think of the Twilight movies when I see this?
Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Tags: Books, Crack Whore, drive in, Gay, Midget porn, Suck, Theater, Twilight saga, Twlight, Vampires
Tags: anal sex, breed, breeding, Crack Whore, Fluffy Bunny, germs, insperation, Midget porn, poop, Public restrooms, Restroom, Suck my balls
Tags: bait, blind date, demote, demotivate, demotivational, Demotivational posters, fishing, motivate, motivational, motivational posters, poop, posters, retard, special
Ok, two things here….
First, it has been a very long time since I have created any demotivational posters, so I’m sure these suck like your whore of a wife. Of course your whore of a wife sucks pretty good… just ask your neighbors donkey. So we’ll just say that they suck like you…. Where you’d only do it if you were forced to and you’d probably be pretty bad at it.
Second, I’m not really sure if this is truly volume 40 of the poster series. But I’m being lazy and don’t really want to check the site the see what number the last one was, so I figured, “Fuck it” I’ll just say its number 40 and run with it. Besides, if I skipped a few volumes, later on I can use those numbers and say they are the “LOST VOLUMES” and charge a shit load of money for them.
Not to say that our live stock….errrrrrrrrrr I mean devoted readers are stupid and gullible. I just think that I’m that much more smarter than you and could get one over on yah.
Enjoy, you turds.
Tags: anal sex, Breakfast, Cereal, Crack Whore, Donkey, Football, Midget porn, Ochocinco, porn
With the news that the cereal brand “Ochocinco’s” is giving out free porn with every box. (See link… http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5632476) I decided that we here at Hot Lard should get into the morning nutrition business ourselves.
So I marched down to our Marketing & Advertising department and immediately walked up to the most senior person and whipped him to death to prove my dominance and then explained to the survivors my idea. They all agreed that it was brilliant.
So without further ado…
Just in time for Breakfast
It’s Ervin Shlopnick’s Barnyard O-PORN-O’s.
The healthy and nutritious cereal for kids that doesn’t forget about the Barnyard porn lover in all of us.
The cereal that offers good things like…. Ummmmmmmm…Oats? And………. Uh… wheat stuff…. I think there is like some vitamins…. Like…. C….B…..uh B69….M…. and Q
Plus fun and exciting things like, Donkey on girl insertion. Man on Chicken tongue kissing. Cow, Dog, Elephant, Platypus, Emu, Girl, Goldfish, and Dung Beetle group sex.
But don’t take my word for it…. Just listen to these testimonials.
Random Man on the Street: “When I am scoping out the local elementary school, I have a lot of downtime. So I fill that with O-PORN-O’s. It’s Porno-riffic”!
Random Woman on the Street: “O-PORN-O’s puts the “Rape” in Breakfast”.
Random Soccer fan on the Street: “It makes me feel better about all of the male-on-male oral sex I give”
So kids, get out there and get yourself some O-PORN-O’s right now….
Ask your mom…
Ask your Dad…
Ask the dead-beat your whore of a mother is sleeping with this week…
Mug your Grandma…
Just get some fucking money and buy this shit.
Tags: anal sex, Crack Whore, Cyclopes, Feathers, Fight, handy, Midget porn, Rocks, Runny Nose, Stuff
Mr Positive says… “Rocks are harder than feathers because rocks are made from a rock like substance, where feathers are made from stuff that can make you fly. If I had to kill a cyclopes who has a runny nose and no pants… I’d go with the rock as my weapon of choice…… But would keep some feathers handy in case I had to fall back, fly away and fight another day”.
Tags: anal sex, baking, baking a cake, cake, Crack Whore, marathone, Midget porn, running, tired
Tags: anal sex, bow down, Crack Whore, Good job, Hello, humiliation, Midget porn, OOPS, pain, Positive, Worship, worship me
Mr. Positive says, “Someday the little people of this stinking planet will bow down and worship the ground I walk on. And if you displease me I will crush your bones under my shoe as you watch your loved ones suffer unimaginable pain and humiliation just to satisfy my blood lust for…. Hello…. Is this thing on???? Ummmmm… You’re doing a great job; keep up the good work”.
Tags: anal sex, Crack Whore, forgot, Midget porn, Old people, Positive, Sorry, Thumbs up
Tags: Cheat, cheaters, demotivate, demotivational, fail, motivation, motivational, motivator, Positive
Tags: demotivate, demotivated, demotivational, Demotivational posters, Dumb, jogging, Mexican Food, motivate, motivated, motivational, motivational posters, motivator, Poo, posters, running