Archive for the ‘Drinking’ Category

Plans for New Years Eve?

Posted: December 30, 2009 by countofflanders in Drinking, Holidays, Shaming
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So, it’s about time to starting drinking.  If you haven’t stopped by the liquor store to pick up your stash, you had better run because the pickings are sure to be slim.

So, what’s everyone doing this year?

Are you going over to Uncle Ted’s house for a night of Pitch and watching Carson “Tool” Daly present Adam Lambert to a crowd of horny hetrosexuals in Times Square?

Or, are you going to the bar to try to score with similarly-desperate female by using the pickup line, “Hey, wanna hunt for bear?”.  Which, by the way, I’m told works quite well because chics don’t expect such a crazy line like that.

Or, are you going to be trying to do doing this?

I hope everyone reading has a safe, yet fun (shown above) New Years Eve!!

I like Pie

Posted: November 25, 2009 by Ervin Sholpnick in Drinking, Music, PSA
Tags: , ,

I like pie

morganfreeman

Click picture

It’s a new year, which means a new start to our demotivational posters. This year I think I’ll try something different; I’ll not do so many hairy balls jokes, or not degrade women, Maybe I should try to use my posters to bring to light social issues that plague us today.

Or maybe I could just try to make them funny…

Nah…

Full steam ahead with unfunny slutty women with hairy balls on their faces!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAW

Enjoy.

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Official Hot Lard 2000 Hit Post

Prison is a hard place; it gives you plenty of time to think.
About …

The errors you have made in life.
What you need to do to change your situation.
What soda maker produces the best shanking can material?
Was dropping the soap that third time in the shower just showing off?
Did “Three Testical Charlie” the convicted serial rapist have something in his eye, or was we winking at me, signifying I would be his next butt sex victim.

Well enough about my social life. The one thing that prison did give me time to do was come up with a whole slew of new demotivational posters to share with all my friends on the outside. Enjoy these. I’m not sure when I’ll get my next conjugal visit.

Till then…


To view our other demotivational posters, click here

On behalf of the entire Hot Lard staff, we would like to thank all 4 or our readers for getting us over 100,000 hits.

Official Hot Lard 60,000 + Hit Post

Below is the exclusive video showing Hillary Duff flashing someone with a video camera at a party.

“Warning” Full Frontal nudity.

The video is on a loop and will start any moment.

If the video does not automatically start in 30 to 60 seconds Click Here for another link.

Official Hot Lard 1000 Hit Post

Once again I have taken a group of random photos and displayed what I think they say to me. Please take a moment to look at them and ask yourself, “This Ervin Shlopnick, is he really deep???? Or just really fucked in the head?” My guess is that I’m the first one…. With just a little sprinkle of the second.

BTW, all of these photos are being brought to you by Tinypic.com

Enjoy

Click on each picture for a better look

Take that bitch…

You know you have a best friend for life when you can count on her to hold your hair back during one of those “girls night out” outings.  Nothing says, “I want to make hot lesbian sex after you blow 30 jello shots through your nostrils at 1:30 AM” like a best friend for life.  To you … we salute you!