I’d like to thank the Countofflanders for the new header photo…
I’m not really sure what he was going for with it.
But my guess is he is trying to lure in the gay porn crowd.
But Hey…
If it gives us more hits on the site, I’m all for it.
PENIS!!!! GET YOUR HOT STEAMING PENIS HERE!!!!
Well, I am pretty sure I know who Ervin is directing his post towards… ME! Bastard!!
In the spirit of fun, here is my comeback… bitch.
Get that boob job you’ve always dreamed of…
Send your profile pic to The Biggest Loser…
Go find yourself a new boyfriend at Chuck E. Cheese…
Take your hot girlfriend out for a classy meal at your local truck stop…
Are you tired of watching those Lexus Christmas commercials every year. You know the ones, where they try to make it look like that average Joe-Blows like you and me can give a $50,000 car to our loved one on Christmas. Instead of the truth where some snotty bitch gets a new car from her blood thirsty corporate husband?
Well here is what I think would be a realistic Lexus Christmas commercial.
Click on photo for a better look.
Now that the “Sure Thing” “Favorite to win it all” “America’s Team” Dallas Cowboys have failed to make the playoffs, I know there are a whole lot of menstruating and suicidal Cowboy fans out there that have nothing to do for the playoffs. So we here at Hot Lard would like to give you a few things you can do now that your team has flopped in the most of epic proportions.
You can work on your dance moves…
Deliver those Easter eggs you been meaning to…
Get arrested with your penis hanging out…
Run until you shit yourself…
Ride your bike in traffic…
Go for a drive in your Barbie Corvette…
Drink beer until you die…
Smoke a joint with another whiny-ass Cowboy fan…
Shoot some hoops…
Go on a date with a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader…
Go on a second date with that Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader…
Wish you had never changed jobs…
Think up new team colors that would more closely represent the team…
Learn the Heimlich Maneuver for the next time they choke…
Or, just shut the fuck up until your team actually does something…
Enjoy the playoffs everybody 
)
Hello all, and hope you got everything you wished for this Christmas. I hope you got that new Hello Kitty bag you’ve always wanted:
This chic sure does have a certain talent that I would like to have for my Christmas present.
Then again, a penis-shaped puppet might explode out of her stomach and devour me on the spot.
To all of our wonderful readers, I’d like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
To my new boss that has told me I’m working on Christmas…. Fuck you ass wipe I quit.
Here you go little Billy… The blow job machine you always wanted.
Got a bunch of crap laying around your house?
Got bags of weed you need to keep out of your basement?
Do you need to dig something up and get it out off your property ASAP, but don’t want to throw it away?
Do you live in Chicago?
Then look no further than Jones’ Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage:
Welcome to another edition of Hot Lard’s Best Of/Worst Of series of TinyPic photos. Stay tuned for fabulous rebuttal from Ervin.
