Archive for November, 2008

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Just returned from “Black Friday” shopping. Got the kids everything they’re going to get for X-mas this year.

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I never trusted those little fuckers. Once they tried to have their way with me in “It’s a Small World”.

It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears.

It’s world you could get molested in, from a catholic queer.

You can run, you can hide

But you will get semen in your eye.

It’s a small world after all

Everybody Sing!!!!!

I’d like to wish all of our readers a very Happy Thanksgiving from all of us here at Hot Lard.

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And if you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving from where you are…

Ummmm, happy “Whatever day” you bunch of heathens celebrate in your blood soaked caves and dungeons.


Maybe I’m the Ying to the Count’s Yang, the darkness to his light, the down to his up… Well all I really know is that if he is going to do a best of, I HAVE to do a worst of. So beings the Count showed you the good of Tinypic.com, I MUST show you the bad. And let me tell you, it wasn’t hard to find a lot of bad. So for your enjoyment, the worst of what Tinypic.com has to offer.

Can I get an “Ew”?

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Try beating off to these you bunch of pervs.

Golly, suddenly I fell real sexy!!!!

Caption Contest

Posted: November 25, 2008 by countofflanders in Uncategorized

I must know what this is all about.  Anyone have any ideas?

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Thanks.  And You’re Welcome for the scars I’ve planted in your brain.

We all know the readers can’t get enough porn, especially when we read our viewer emails.  The number one subject line (by far) is “watch her come over and over again”.

In the spirit of hotties, we are starting a new series that we like to called Best of… and for our inaugural post, how about some tasty photos from TinyPic!

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A big thanks to all the cool dudes who uploaded these pics, and to all the jailbait hotties who emailed these to their wannabe-boyfriends.

Want to see the worst of what Tinypic.com has to offer? If so click here.

With all this talk of corporate bail-outs and the letting go of celebrity endorsers; I wanted to take this moment to let all of our readers know that Hot Lard is going strong. We have not lowered ourselves to ask for a free handout from our government. Plus I’m happy to say that all of our celebrity endorsers will be staying with us. As a matter of a fact, here are a few of the new endorsements for Hot Lard you will be seeing in news papers and magazines in the next few months.

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It has been confirmed that famed super hero and adult diaper model, Super Tard has been hired by GM to replace Tiger Woods as its new celebrity endorser. Super Tard is best known for his work with turkey insemination and explosive bowel movements. Last year Super Tard wowed the world when he showed he was brave enough to spend the night at Michael Jackson’s house alone, with no pants.

GM would not disclose the terms of the deal, but it is widely know that Super Tard is quit fond of rubber balls, a warm glass of spittle and shiny things.

A GM spokes person had this to say about the signing of Super Tard.

“Super Tard is a shining example of what’s good about this country and he reflects well on the quality of GM vehicles.  We are excited to have Super Tard as a spokes person for GM and believe his disabilities and uncontrollable urges to grab other people’s private parts will speak volumes about the product and this company”.

When asked, this is what Super Tard had to say about his new position.

“I gotta go make poopy”.

Good Luck to GM and Super Tard on this new venture.

will-work-for-foodThe economic down turn has now hit the golf world. Tiger Woods, famed golfer and savior of the planet has been laid off from Buick. Immediately after the lay off Mr. Woods put his 60 million dollar yacht up for sale and his mansion has been foreclosed on. There is even word that his wife has been forced into prostitution and the family has resorted to eating their pets. We here at Hot Lard want to help the Woods family and ask our generous readers to please look deep in your hearts and give what you can to this unfortunate family. A simple donation of 1 million, 2 million, or even 3 million dollars will help this destitute clan make it through the holiday season with a little hope and dignity.

Thank you and God bless,

Ervin Shlopnick.
Managing Director of the Hot Lard Helping Hands Foundation… And monkey farts.

Just in time for Thanksgiving we here are serving up a big ole slab of perfectly cooked demotivational posters. I’m sure after you digest these you will nap for a week and take the dump of the century when you wake up.

On a serious note:
We here at Hot Lard & Demotivational Minds would like to wish all our readers a Very Happy Thanksgiving and ask that you take a moment during this joyous time and think of those that are less fortunate…

And laugh at them as you are stuffing your face with turkey, ham and covering a midget hooker with mashed potatoes and gravy.

Happy Thanksgiving All!!!

Need to go to our sister site Demotivational Minds to see them.