Demotivational Posters Volume #8 - “I HATE SOCCER!!!”
March 9, 2008 by Ervin Sholpnick
Official Hot Lard 1000 Hit Post
Let me make this perfectly clear….. I HATE SOCCER!!!
There is absolutely nothing whatsoever that interests me about this sport .
I wrote a post some time back about American Football and how great it is. In this post I made a few quick comments about soccer and its fans and how I felt about this grab ass sport. I received several comments from menstraiting soccer fans about what a great sport soccer was and all the positive things that come along with it, like…
Urine Bombs
Riots
Ummmmmmmm… Well I guess urine bombs and riots pretty much sums it up.
What most of the soccer fans tried to get past me was that I really didn’t hate soccer… I just didn’t understand it. Well soccer fan let me get this through to you… YES I DO! I understand that it is one of the most God-awful boring ass sports on the planet.
If I was forced to choose between prison rape or soccer… I’d …… Well…… Hmmmmmm….. Well I’d ….. Geesh , I guess I would have to…… I’m sure I could just watch a little bit of soc……… Would I have to kiss the prisoner?
Now just in case some of you out there are still not clear on my true feelings about soccer. I have come up with some motivational posters directed solely towards your sport.
Enjoy
Click on each poster for a better look.
The poster above is the real deal I’m not making it up.
In closing…
Soccer Sucks!
Flanders
tadjur
countofflanders
http://digg.com/soccer/VIDEO_Wild_Soccer_Riot_in_Columbia_18_Stabbed
actually, football (soccer) is the best sport in the world and American football is the most boring sport I have ever watched (it’s tied with Nascar, golf, and tennis). How can an American football fan have the audacity to say that football is boring? A standard American football game consists of four 15-minute quarters, with a half-time intermission after the second quarter. The clock stops after certain plays; therefore, a game can last considerably longer (often more than three hours in real time), and if a game is broadcast on television, TV timeouts are taken at certain intervals of the game to broadcast commercials outside of game action. Are you serious? Three hours of start, stop, start, stop…COMMERCIAL BREAK!! Now that is BORING. And also, football players are better athletes than American football players, so even if some of them are gay (which isn’t anything bad) they can still be amazing athletes, because what does gayness have to do with athletic ability?
Dearest Valerie
Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to enjoy our site and give us some positive feed back. It’s always good to hear from our loyal fan base. Your message did drag on a little bit and it appears that you are somewhat incoherent, so I’ve taken it upon myself to translate your message to our other readers that do not wish to waist their time with your gibberish.
Ok…. Let’s see… You wrote…
“Blah blah blah blah…….. American Football is great.”
“Blah blah blah blah…….. Soccer sucks”
“Blah blah blah blah…….. I have crooked teeth.”
“Blah blah blah blah…….. My hygiene is awful.”
“Blah blah blah blah…….. Will you father my children?”
Well golly Valerie, we here at Hot Lard love it when our readers agree with our posts and it makes us very happy to know that you took considerable time out of your day to let everybody else know about it. As far as fathering your children, I’m afraid my answer will have to be “no”. You see I’m already married with children. Plus the fact that you have bad teeth and horrible hygiene would prevent my penis from getting hard, making insemination virtually impossible.
But keep your head up kiddo, I’m sure there is a bad smelling, rotting teeth, mentally challenged Foutball lover like yourself out there that is just waiting to snatch you up and do…. well whatever freaks like yourselves do with one another.
Thanks again for the good words and come back soon.
Love and kisses
Ervin Shlopniock
you know a bag might fix the bad teeth
even though i’m a soccer fan (we call it football from where i came from) i found the pictures funny and are considerably true about the part where soccer creates riots and stuff… oh yeah! the celebration picture thingy made me chuckle 12 times..xD
Finally!!! Somebody gets it!!!
You have a great day Pedro.
lol @ how threatened lame NFL fans feel by soccer. LOL @ how much effort you put in insulting soccer fans and condescending the most popular sport in the world.
Get over it already. More people like soccer than any sport. It completely DOMINATES the world of sport.
Soooooooooo, what your saying is that if most people like taking it up the ass (I.E. Soccer fans) we should all take it up the ass. Sorry not happening, towel boy.
Trust me little sweet Jamie, no football fan (American, not that sissy ass, ball grabbing, penis sucking, cum guzzling, all male porn fest, you call a sport) will ever be the slightest bit intimidated by any Nancy-boy that likes soccer and group facials.
Have I made myself clear? If not, you need to take the penis out of your mouth and read this again.
Thank you so very much for visiting the site. We always appreciate the opinions of our readers… Even Soccer Fans.
Tell your friends and come back real soon
I would like to initiate a fist fight with any faggot that created these demotivational posters. Anyone who wastes their time making fun of people that could probably kick their asses needs to be neutered, killed, and thrown into a pot of acid so that the remnants of their bodies never have to be seen again. Thank you and get hit by a bus today.
And another thing douche bag
if that’s you in that picture, i’d watch how big you make yourself look. You are some old guy that needs to have some fatal heart syndrome and die.
I could kick your ass. My team could kick your ass. A three year old girl that has Hellen Keller syndrome and only one arm could kick your ass.
You are meaningless. No one has ever heard of you. Your word means nothing to anyone. Eat shit and die faghole.
Dear Sucker.Ass Grabber.poor writer.all male anal lover
Thank you so very much for showing me the error of my ways. What was I thinking?!?!?!
I can tell by your two comments that I have insulted a kind, caring, articulate, card carrying MENSA member. And I must do what is necessary to make it up to you. So as of this time I am pulling all inflammatory soccer posts off this web page… Well I do have to wash my dog and wipe my ass today, so how about I do it tomorrow…. Hmmmm, there is that thing I have to do with those 30 strippers and Elvis impersonating midget… So how about I take it off this weekend… Wait I will be covered in whipped cream and beans for most of Saturday and Sunday.. Tell you what, how about you just check in on my site every single day until you see these posts removed. I’m sure after a couple hundred thousand hits; I will get around to removing them.
In the meantime why not invite your friends, (Those would be the people you haven’t kick their ass already) and have them check out the site every day also.
In the mean time I will be hiding in my closet, fearing the day that we meet and you start giving me a good old fashion soccer ass kicking. I’m sure that would include…
A blow job,
Burning down my city
Tossing my salad
Throwing bags of urine at me
Another blow job
Boring me to tears with your stories of how great soccer is
Yet another blow job and tossing my salad
Showing me your third grade graduation photos
Swallowing my load.
Thanks again for visiting the site. We always love to hear from our adoring fans
@9
All you’re doing is perpetuating the stereotype that soccer is gay.
In case you were wondering, soccer is slightly more gay than hockey. I bet just one hockey player could take on an entire gang of soccer dweebs.
The only good to come out of soccer is the gays that congregate together in a central location for easier gassing (if us normal people chose to dispose of you all).
Enjoy the gayness that oozes from your pores; I’m sure your San Francisco lover is dragging you by your golden locks to the courthouse this very minute to get the ceremony underway.
cute. i just love the sarcasm around here. i’d like to place my own idea of soccer here.
i am one of the 2% of people left in this world that didn’t got hipnotised by this weirdo game…
To soccer fans: don’t bother annoying me with your arguments about soccer being cute. said that this is my opinion and mine alone.
Ok this is what i think about social ’soccer’ life:
98% of the world is soccer fans
inside these 98%:
-70% just say to like soccer because other say so, or to prove ‘loyalty’ to their country.
-20% are naive dreamy boys that wish to become soccer stars
- the remaining 7% truly loves soccer just for true love.
2% of the world is anti-soccer
inside these 2%
-just don’t understand the whole point of placing your life into placing a round ball inside the net.
-simply hate it for personal reasons.
Those are calculations that i came up with myself. a simple way to put the way i see this situation.
I also find this game boring, because the whole point in this is to (like said before) place a ball inside the net. But until they actually do it, they run and kick and roll and jump and crouch and slide, not to mention breaks once in a while, until they finally score a point…
People who love soccer above their family, cat, dog, girlfriend etc, will probably want to eat me alive because they can’t even see that soccer players get paid a lot more than one person can manage by working out a whole month.
Not to mention that most players didn’t even had to go through all years of study, while most people study so hard to come to the end without a job.
(yes soccer fans, i do understand its a risky job, but still they waste loads of money over this…
i guess that’s all. any insulting coment straight at me will either be ignored or answered back with ugly words. depends on my mood.
see ya.
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