My Thoughts by Ervin Shlopnick – Windows Vista

My new PC has Windows Vista installed on it. I’ve tried working with it for about a week or so….
Now I know what forced male on male anal sex must feel like.

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Tyrone Spellman Found Guilty for 3rd Degree Murder

The verdict is in … Tyrone ranks up there with the worst of the worst.
Backstory
It’s 2006 in Philidelphia, PA and Tyrone is chillin’ in his crib playing some Xbox 360 with his brother.  It must’ve been a good game because when his 17-month old daughter accidentally knocks over his 360 and breaks it, he goes [...]

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Why You Need a Friend While Drinking

Some you may have already seen; others might be new.  Nonetheless, all teach us a valuable lesson … no matter where you are, if there is alcohol present, so is a digital camera.  Take a friend along to prevent such occurrences (except if you’re a horny chic that is dying to show her massive rack).

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Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

For all the fathers out there with a daughter, Hot Lard (namely, Count of Flanders Butwheaty) found this excellent questionaire for your daughter’s potential date to read and sign.
This is a highly-informative list of questions used to screen a potential low-life from infiltrating your sacred daughter’s life.
In addition to helping dads of daughters, this list [...]

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My Thoughts by Ervin Shlopnick – The Ecstasy of Fire

I believe that fire is a living thing….
It needs air to breath and food to eat. Plus let’s not forget love. A fire needs the love of its maker to feed it and make sure it has enough air to grow and consume.
Fire in return can give love back to you…
It can heat your [...]

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Hot Lard Kodak Moment – Signs You’ve Crossed the Line

Chances are, you had no idea what it would taste like until you actually tried it.
Yep, tastes like shit!

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A True Sense of Accomplishment

To get an idea of what it means to truly feel good, you need to tackle a large obstacle.  Here are some things that make me feel good.
As the image you see shows, finishing one of these badass Hardees monster thickburgers makes me bubbly inside.   It takes quite a man, or beastly woman, to [...]

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Hot Lard Kodak Moment – The Cute Puppy

Awww, cute puppy

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WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS!!!

Fun facts from Infection Control

During an hour’s swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of [...]

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Ervin Shlopnick’s email exchange with Pam White of HD Publishing Group

It has been some time since I have replied to anyone offering me riches and wealth through my Gmail. It’s not that I have not been getting these emails, it’s just that I’ve been so darn busy with work. Like……………  Well there is……………….. I had to………………
 OK, I’ve been busy hiding the bodies and masturbating myself [...]

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