We’re taking a break

The Hot Lard crew is taking a break over the holiday to do the things we love to do. We’ll be back after the start of the new year… Or maybe we won’t.

Good Holiday Cheer to All!

We’d like to leave you with a montage of vomit just before Christmas, the greatest celebration in the world.

Enjoy your Christmas bitches.

Hot Lard’s Mailbag

Well, the arrival of Christmas jolly and New Year’s puking has forced Hot Lard to open up it’s mailbag.  We’d like to take this moment to answer a few questions visitors have been asking.  I guess this is a Hot Lard FAQ.

•  No, we do not need any exclusive replica Rolex watches.  Regardless of how perfectly crafted a timepiece they are, or how affordable they are.  We’re just not interested at the time.
• Who wouldn’t want to experience pen!le growth in 2008?  I mean, we’ve done all the pen!le growing we can handle for calendar year 2007!
• Generally speaking, ass warts are caused by YOU doing something to your body you should not being doing.
• 5 minutes … tops
• We would be thrilled to post your photo.  Just send us an email with your photo attached and type of subject of “Hot Lard is the best”.
• If you need passage to the United States of America from the Russian Federation, yes … we would be thrilled to meet you at the Detroit International Airport, with a briefcase full of cash and a stiff and veiny hard-on.
• It’s legal to own; legal to buy it; legal to smoke it; illegal to sell it.  Yeah, freakin’ confusing as hell I know.
• Of course, Family Guy.
• If you feel guilty when you stick your penis in the hole, then you shouldn’t do it.  But, if you get a good rush … by all means, be prepared to be dickchoped.
• No, we are not interested in your scab collection, your jars of puss you’ve collected over the years, or how full you can fill you colostomy bag before your underwear turns brown.

Rachael Ray’s Latest Fashion Trends

I was watching my new favorite TV show the other day and thankfully I had my digital camera waiting and ready.

Notice the really cool necklace she’s wearing?  I need to find me one of those.

Man, she really rocks!  Rachael’s always setting the trends and letting me know what I need to be buying for all my lady friends.

Hero of the Day – Rico

Today marks a special occasion … we finally have another Hero of the Day, and it has been a long time.

We would like to say “thank you” to Rico for showing us how much he loves his girl; we’re pretty confident she knew he was going to upload her picture for the rest of the world to see.

This chic is pretty hot, so she qualifies for tagging of Hotties and FotD.  Good luck Rico; I’m sure you and your hot girlfriend will spend many evenings discussing what happened to that photo she emailed to you!

A Hot Lard Kodak Moment – Observation Deck

Official Hot Lard 3000 Hit Post

I enjoy the view from an observation deck just as much as fat people.  Do you?

A BFFL Moment – Helping a sick friend

You know you have a best friend for life when you can count on her to hold your hair back during one of those “girls night out” outings.  Nothing says, “I want to make hot lesbian sex after you blow 30 jello shots through your nostrils at 1:30 AM” like a best friend for life.  To you … we salute you!

Hot Lard Kodak Moment – Santa is Coming

I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause…..

Then he painted her face.

My Thoughts by Ervin Shlopnick – Hot Chili

 

I ate some really hot chili today and now my farts burn my anus.

I think I’ll have tacos tomorrow.

Long-Lost Photo of Peter Griffin

I think Seth McFarlane should come clean and stop giving us fake flashbacks of what Peter Griffin used to do as a young child.

Here is the long-lost photo of Peter Griffin, as a child: