Dear “Girl Who Desires Fame on the Internet“,
Lately, Count of Flanders Butwheaty has noticed a growing trend on the internet. Namely, girls who post self-portraits from their cellphones and pocket-size Canon’s on popular social sites. The sites include, but not limited to:
The reason for the open letter is simple; it is a well-known fact that girls are more-infatuated with their appearance that boys. Therefore, a conclusion has been made that you like boobies/boobs/breasts just as much, if not more, than guys. The solution is to stop posting photos of yourselves with clothes on. The recommendation is to take as many photos as your digital device will allow, and post to the sites listed above. Feel free to crop your face if you’re concerned about your appearance. Let the internet be the judge/jury on how much we like your boobies.
There are way too many photos of hot and sexy chics on these sites that aren’t topless. This is a travesty, and needs to be addressed … IMMEDIATELY!
So please ladies, show us your boobies. We know you like them too, so let us check ‘em out. Stop teasing the rest of the world.
Succulently yours,
Count of Flanders Butwheaty
This is best imaged read in a deep voice like Woodrow on the Simpsons (the one where Bart pretends to be a guy named Woodrow in responding to Mrs. Krabappel’s personal ad … no ? ,,, CMON watch some simpsons already!)